The Assistant Coach (2/?)
Title: The Assistant Coach
Rating: R
Pairing: Bernd Schneider/Arturo Vidal (The Schneiders)
Character crew: Bernd Schneider, Arturo Vidal, Antonio Conte and other members of Juventus FC crew and players from other leagues.
Special appeareance of Massimo Carrera and Iker Schneider.
Disclaimer: Everything displayed in this text is entire fiction and made up by Chelsea Lady
Warning: Laboral harrasment implied. Unbetaed.
Summary: The Italian Job is the most important job ever taken, specially when is pioneer for being the first openly homosexual assistant coach
in Italy. Prepare for the change. In this part - Massimo is getting recovered of an overdose of pills at a hospital in Turin. The Schneiders are the first visiting him.
Previously on "The Assistant Coach"
Iker Schneider is a special boy. Specially considering his tiny difference on his lip. It's presumed that he was abandoned at birth in a hospital in Poland's capital after the biological mother discovered his cleft lip at the right side of his face. He got his surgeries until 2 years of age. After that, they decided to give him in adoption.
At the age of three he was adopted by Bernd and with Arturo. His original name was Lazlo, but Bernd decided to name him Iker honoring Iker Casillas and Arturo gave him his middle name Antonio after Antonio Conte.
And also he has a gift that great part of children has: he can talk with imaginary friends.
Iker was really worried when Papa Arturo didn't come back from the match. He said that his friend Robbie went to the stadium to see what's going on.
After that... Bernd found Iker sleeping and babbling from his affected side next to his Dachshund plush toy.
Schnix hugs and kisses his son.
"Hi, Iker!"
"Papa Bernd?"
"Ja..."
"Und Papa Arturo?"
"How is my special one??"
"Sleepy... but don't worry. Robbie is here..."
"Where?"
"Over here..."
"Awww...I see..." Arturo answers. But at the time he meditates about it.
"We'll go to the hospital to visit Signore Carrera. Do you remember him?"
"Yes!" Rafaella interrupts with Roberta on her arms. "He held Roberta while she was lost the last week!!! And he worked while Signore Antonio wasn't there!"
"Tonio! Tonio!"
Roberta is 18 months old and has several keywords "Tonio" is for Antonio Conte "Papa" is when she names Bernd and "Papapa" is for Arturo.
"Ke" is for Iker and "Ella" is for Rafaella. But ironically her first word wasn't "Papa". It was "Edin" because she met Edin Dzeko face to face once.
"Well, kids. We're going to visit him."
"I wanna go wit' ya" Iker answers.
"Sorry, but adult visits only. The person we're going to visit is in a bed. You will not like it..."
The someone knocks the door.
"Si?"
"Gianluigi"
"Come in...come in... benvenutto a Casa Schneider" Bernd answers.
"So! These are your kids, Bernd!?"
"Yes."
"In my country is so weird to see two same-sex parents raising kids. Wow...is such a---deed!! Huh! If you know what I mean..."
"I don't give a fuck. Indeed they're special. The three. Well. She's Rafaella. Rafaella. Say hello to Gianluigi."
"Hello...!"
"Roberta...Roberta...say hi, Roberta...I'm Gianluigi. Or better to say, Gigi. Say 'ciao Gigi'"
"Ciao Gigi! Gigi! Gigi!" Roberta exclaims with a typical toddler's laugh and applauds.
"She likes you" Bernd says.
"And he's Iker...Iker! Iker!"
"Huh?"
"Say hi to Gianluigi!"
"Hi!"
"Does it hurt?" he asks for the scar on his upper lip.
"No."
"Okay."
"I want to introduce a friend of mine..."
"You're in charge, Gigi!"
"Thanks, Bernd..."
Buffon is the babysitter while both are going to the hospital to visit Massimo. Meanwhile, at his black Jeep, Arturo says:
"I can't believe he survived... wow... maybe he had the same problem as Robert Enke. Aw dear... Bernd... I want to talk to you about Iker..."
"What's up with Iker??"
"I'm worried about that imaginary friend he has. His name is Robbie..."
"Maybe just a coincidence..."
"And what if is Robert who's talking to him???"
"Bullshit... well... let's go."
They arrived to the hospital and then they made the way to visit Massimo.
"Signore Carrera???"
"Arturo! Bernd! How are you?"
"Fine..."
"What about the kids?"
"They're with Gianluigi."
"He's a good babysitter. Hehe... specially with toddlers. Bet Roberta applauded when she saw him."
"Yeah!" both exclaimed.
"I'm so sorry, guys. I'm so sorry of taking those pills. Is just that I'm so harrased in laboral matters. But anyways... It wasn't my intention to harm
you...and less kill the game. But I want to confess you something. I hope you can understand me."
"Go ahead."
"Is the second time I tried to kill myself. I didn't tell Antonio when he got suspended from FIGC; but... today I spoke with the psychologist and...
I have endogenous depression. I tried to tell Antonio about my condition when he named me his replacement, but I don't want to end like Robert
Enke... or Gary Speed if you know what I'm talking about... so much work...."
"Hey... depression or Burnout syndrome?" Bernd asks.
"It's depression."
"Well...I know is so hard, but... in the last time I got harrasment by the president of the club. Anyways, it was predictable. Specially for you, Arturo..."
"Per chè?" (Arturo knows this word)
"Because is not easy to play Lega Calcio and being homosexual at the same time."
"The contract didn't say that I must be straight to get hired in Juventus... they hired me because I'm a good player and I'm versatile as midfielder and
sometimes I make Bernd's job which is creation midfield, and I can be a winger also. That was the reason. And Antonio remembered his old days while
I was on pitch. Man, come on!"
"Yes, but.... I want to make my resignation letter as soon as possible. I will get up of this bed and I'll make a stampa conferenza saying that I will leave
the club..."
"But Agnelli----"
"Fuck Agnelli, Bernardo!!!" (Juve crew knows the Jenaer man as Bernardo, because is difficult to pronounce in its original phonology)
"Why?"
"Because he will do what he wants to do. Anyways...is a high risk for me...but I found the chosen one."
"Who?"
"You"
Bernd gasps and he cannot believe it the decision he made, so his Italian rises in his entire splendor:
"M'a comme??? E' molto scandalosso, Massimo!! Ich bin schwul und das ist ein...och! Parlare tedesco...grrr...lapsus....
Is not easy to be an openly homosexual manager...well... let's begin that I have my Urkunde in less than three weeks. I traveled to Jena to recieve it"
"Urkunde?"
"Diploma"
"Thanks Arturo for translating. Well, Bernardo. You decide. Or you take the job, or I will end up in a corpse bag... my health is first, Bernardo.
Please, think about it."
Bernd left the room really angry, but Arturo made the peace sign with his hand, so as the heart-sign.
"No, Arturo. No, no, no...I will not accept it...no!"
"Warum??"
"Weil nicht, Arturo. Das ist ein wahr und groß Problem. Weißt du... you know we were coming through all this time. All I want to be is Bernd Schneider,
the first footballer who went out of the closet and continued his career until a slipped disc screwed up his life on pitch, which made a beautiful
and multiethnical family and adopted two kids and one biological under in-vitro...not an assistant coach...and less in Italy!!
You know how they treated you the first day... you asked for more than two weeks your jersey with Schneider-Vidal last name, but they said that it was
too long....huh??? Is not convenient for me."
"Well, Bernd. As you said while in Leverkusen...'I don't give a fuck'"
"Why you say it, Arturo?"
"Because when they hired me, they didn't contemplate that I get married with you in Germany. Or civil union, well...they only saw my skills. That's
what really counts. In your final exam you got skills!!!! You were awesome with Bayer U15!!! You screamed 'ja' under six times. Indeed they won 6-nil"
"Ja, sechs zu null...ich weiß das."
"So..what's the big deal??? You prefered Italy than Germany with Herr Bierhoff and Löw and company. By the way...can I tell you something?"
"Huh?"
"When you get hired for commentating Lega Calcio, did they ask you if you were gay?"
"Nope."
"Did people frowned every time you brought me flowers for winning a match in Champions League?"
"Nope."
"Did someone yell you 'schwul' in Italian or insult you?"
"As far as I know....nope"
"So...before any insult, do it, Bernd!!! Do it, Schnix!! Maybe Mou will be angry, but you will be the Special One this time..."
"Mou?? AHAHAHAAAAA....but he has his Special One already."
"Who? Mesut? Sami?"
"Nein. Karanka."
Bernd laughed more than ten minutes. Finally Arturo at last drew a smile on his face and finally head-pets Arturo on his friseur. But the Chilean-German
dares more and kisses him going out of the hospital. Without noticing it, some paparazzi were outside.
By the midnight, the following text appears: "Brokeback Torino: Arturo and Bernd spreads love for Massimo Carrera after overdose crisis"
"Brokeback Torino?? Fuck Corriere della Sera!!! Next time treat us better, suckers! I will prove you that I can be in the team of the love of my life.
Huh! Agnelli is a sucker too!"
After that he turned off the computer and he congratulates Gianluigi Buffon for his great baby-sitting job.
"Maybe you should be au-pair after retiring...."
"I'll take it as a compliment" he says while passing a sleeping Iker from his arms to Bernd's.
"Put the 'Pulcino Pio' clip. He laughs a lot, so as Roberta."
"Okay, bye..."
"Peace, Bernardo..." Gigi said whispering and tip-toeing. Arturo just grins while he is witness of this fact.
tbc. 02-18-2013