My Life in the New Year
I haven't written in awhile, mostly because I've been super busy lately. But it's a good kind of busy. Like I said in 2009, I promised that 2010 was going to be my year to change. I really do feel like I've been changing. I can't explain it. It's like my thoughts have been altered completely. Thoughts about myself and life and others. I have a hopeful outlook on everything and it feels like the pressure is off of me. That crippling fear seems to be drifting away. Slowly, but I know that it's not the center of my life anymore. God has taken that spot and his love drives away all my fear. That explains a lot. I've been trying to take the focus off of myself and put it on others. I want to give back somehow and make my life somewhat useful. The only problem I have now is that I can't wait to graduate. I'm not even a junior yet, and I'm already bored with high school. I want to do so much more than what I'm doing. I kind of want to leave my town and venture the world. And I still have two more years! I just know that I'm leaving the old Brianna behind. I don't need those friends that hurt me so much in the past, because I know God is going to bring me better friends in the future. And more than that, he's going to shape me to become a better friend. I don't have to fear anything anymore, because God is always going to be by my side. I don't have to hate myself, because I know I have worth in him. I still struggle with self esteem sometimes, and that's okay. I'm learning to take things one step at a time. Someday I'll be able to accept and love myself the way I am. This year so far as been great. I can't wait for what lies ahead.