sucky
ive been soo emotional lately. im either really really happy or like wicked pissed off. right now=pissed off.
so basically today was the first day of midterms and yesterday i was really happy cus we didnt have practice.today complete opposite. its really really hard to put how i feel about basketball into words but im gonna try becus if i dont get this all off my chest im gonna either have a mental breakdown or cry after every single game/practice. so here goes nothin...
sam, steph, ashley, wendy, megan and sheri- you guys are pretty much the reason why i havent quit yet. becus i know that id kinda be lettin you guys down. and i would never want you to think it was anything you did that made me not wanna play anymore. and honestly id miss you guys. id miss even bein pissed of with you guys. everything you guys have done for me has made me not want to walk away from this.
Amanda - Basketball has not been the same since i stopped playin with you. and tonight when someone was takin and foul shot during the scrimage i was boxing you out and it was so hard to not be sad or cry becus ur probly 50% of the reason i havent quit yet. our first home game i played like two minutes and i could not stop cryin after the game becus my parents stayed and i watched you play and remember that you were what made it fun for me. and since then ive told myself that maybe if i can just get to play with you again itll be fun. but its so hard becus i hate feeling useless and not needed. every lil bit of the player that i had in me is gone right now. and ive lost any love that i had for basketball. but watchin you helps me hope that someday itll be fun again. and im just hopin i can make it that long.
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get it down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to tame this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this
So when will this end it goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop
Till I step down from this for good
I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kinda thought it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time