Give Me One, Two, Three, Four, If You Love Me More...
Passivity: Is it a weakness or a virtue?
So much of our lives are spent relentlessly trying to bend the wills of those around us to fit our needs. Fucking selfish! That's the problem with relationships--they aren't as permanent as the hopelessly romantics would hope... and romanticize (That word gives me an idea for creating a work-out video, but I digress...).
Just hear me out: To me the ultimate personal goal is for one to be a closed system--self-sustaining, secure in ones personality, and honest on all levels with oneself. For the sake of this argument we'll assume that all individuals have reached this state of personal bliss, and now would like a significant other to enhance and share their lives with (NOT to replace their lack of personal esteem, like with most real-life relationships).
Now change is a given, as much as I hate to admit it because I can't stand change. That means an individuals needs and desires change as their personality constantly grows and adapts through life experience. So because of change, without bending others wills and making them do things they wouldn't otherwise do, there's not much of a chance for 2 people to continually meet each others needs year in and year out.
Obviously there's a certain amount of will-bending that's acceptable, because relationships will always require a certain amount of compromise and sacrifice. Some personalities have more room for compromise than others, which I attribute directly to that personality's lack of self security. There's a reason why compromise can have a very bad connotation: "These test results have been compromised". Compromised. Contaminated.
Maybe this is very selfish and there's absolutely nothing wrong with having our wills constantly skewed by others. Maybe that's just how life is supposed to be. Maybe we're supposed to compromise because being miserable builds character. I don't know.
A good friend has the belief that soul-mates rotate, but that they're no less significant because of their impermanence. The old-school Steve, the hopeless romantic that hates change, would never have wanted to believe that. Apparenly from this post though, the neo-psyche Steve is pretty convinced.
So much of our lives are spent relentlessly trying to bend the wills of those around us to fit our needs. Fucking selfish! That's the problem with relationships--they aren't as permanent as the hopelessly romantics would hope... and romanticize (That word gives me an idea for creating a work-out video, but I digress...).
Just hear me out: To me the ultimate personal goal is for one to be a closed system--self-sustaining, secure in ones personality, and honest on all levels with oneself. For the sake of this argument we'll assume that all individuals have reached this state of personal bliss, and now would like a significant other to enhance and share their lives with (NOT to replace their lack of personal esteem, like with most real-life relationships).
Now change is a given, as much as I hate to admit it because I can't stand change. That means an individuals needs and desires change as their personality constantly grows and adapts through life experience. So because of change, without bending others wills and making them do things they wouldn't otherwise do, there's not much of a chance for 2 people to continually meet each others needs year in and year out.
Obviously there's a certain amount of will-bending that's acceptable, because relationships will always require a certain amount of compromise and sacrifice. Some personalities have more room for compromise than others, which I attribute directly to that personality's lack of self security. There's a reason why compromise can have a very bad connotation: "These test results have been compromised". Compromised. Contaminated.
Maybe this is very selfish and there's absolutely nothing wrong with having our wills constantly skewed by others. Maybe that's just how life is supposed to be. Maybe we're supposed to compromise because being miserable builds character. I don't know.
A good friend has the belief that soul-mates rotate, but that they're no less significant because of their impermanence. The old-school Steve, the hopeless romantic that hates change, would never have wanted to believe that. Apparenly from this post though, the neo-psyche Steve is pretty convinced.