August 1

[cheesewhiz0]

Tonight I spent the whole time complaining to ross about how my life sucked. I feel bad for him. but he didn't seem too bothered. i dont know, I hope he didn't mind. but I am rather aggravated. I'm aggravated because, I'm not...I'm not a lot of things, and I wont ever amount to anything special. I'm probably just gonna grow up and die unnoticed. because everyone is gonna go off and get married. If you think about it friedns always say that they will remember you, then they get married, and all that stuff, and they might not forget about you, but they wont call you until that one birthday, or christmas that they know where you live. I'm complaining again, but this is just a way to get it out.

OKAY, this section is for Josh.
Josh, I didn't mean anything, I was just venting. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I AM happy for you and Mary, its just hard for me to see you with her. Not that day and night I dread it and I wish that you were with me....its just weird. I dont know if you understand. I think that you two are a very good pair. I'm just being a girl. A girl with a history of a lacking love. A love that was never present from her father or anyone really. I'm not gonna start complaining again, I just wanted to apologize, and tell you that I wish you and mary the best. Luv you two.

Okay, I'm gonna go watch some tv, then go to bed. See all of yall later.

K