Plogviehze, Baby: 11/14

[latin_doll]

Prologue | Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

Am not all that happy with this chapter, but meh. There's cuteness. There's cabbage. There's bashing of polka dots, for a change.

Comments

[latin_doll]

[Both eyebrows? Really?]

Since this is Mal and since she's entirely capable of the Amazing One Eyebrow Lift... no, actually. Whoops. *fixes*

an expression of self-loathing combined with a death wish
Gods, that's Mal wrapped up in a large, purple ribbon and gift-wrapped, isn't it?

Bondage!Mal?

Is it because she had to think about it a bit before actually caring if the vampire baby -- Mal's sibling, if not Mal, at this point -- survived, or what?

Nah, it's because she's half-asleep by then and takes some time to get to the inclusion that there might be death involved.

"Huh," said Polly, and thought about it. She glanced at Mal. "Did the kid live?" she asked, (quietly,) sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

Oh, neat :D I used that.

This is Mal getting out of the coach again, isn't it?

Yes, it is. Changed the rumbling to creaking, as suggested.

Also, what's with the icicle comment? 'Cause I don't quite follow.

"You're a lovely little icicle" = "damn, you look frozen all over". But we all know that Polly just wants to tell Mal that she's lovely :D

How did she manage to get the silk stockings off, anyway? 'Cause I have the mental image -- which goes with the 'Off!' -- of her just yanking one of them off(!) all in one go, by the toe. And I'm pretty sure that would cause ripping or something, and I don't think they have any extra socks at this point.
anyway...

That's a good point. Can we just assume that Polly, due to Mal's patient introduction to silk stockings, has learned how to get them off without tearing?

When you tax an inanimate object, you are a member of the government, charging its owner money for having it. "Taxing", as in "Putting a bit of a strain on things" doesn't work like that.

... Oh. How cool. *fixes*

Okay, you have to establish how she got to the wash-basin in the first place.
Yes, everything's laid out. Good. But she's just back-flipped off a rafter, near a bed. Wash-stands are generally in a corner *away* from the bed (so's as not to drip on the sheets, I assume). She would have to wander over to the wash-stand before she could dip her finger in.
You might want to do something about that. :-)

I did something about that. Have a look? :D

Yup, that's the Plains for you. Cabbage, cabbage, cabbage, brocolli and brussel sprouts. :-)

Let's just hope they never hire you as their head of tourism. :D

You're already pretty consequent at it. 'Consequent'?

Aw, that's supposed to be 'consistent' (just with a little more oomph, actually. Along the lines of 'anal retentive'. Um. Suggestions?) I should use zer dictionary more often.

[amazon_syren]

Bondage!Mal... Oh, don't tempt me, darling... I know she's got at least one old lover who would have very-much enjoyed tying her up and, well... probably going beyond the boundaries established by safe-words, I confess... Not a nice woman, was Vanya...

Re: Taxing: ...Oh. How cool. <*fixes*>
It's cool?
Really?
What an interesting reaction. :-)

I guess 'finding something/one rather taxing' comes from the fact that paying taxes puts something of a strain on one's finances (and, possibly, one's realtionship with one's government). Or maybe I'm way off, who knows. ;-)

Re: Moth/flame: Oo. :-) Good one. :-) (Although I'd say 'a' flame, rather than 'the' flame -- but, otherwise, well done. :-)

Re: Consistent: I'd use something like... "you're already pretty, um... obsessive... er." Or something. Is there a 'nice' way of saying 'obsessive'? Er? Single-minded, maybe? :-) <*looks hopeful*>

Dictionaries, while your friends, are probably topped by thesauri (thesauruses?) which will give you handy synonyms for things. :-) Yay! :-)

[latin_doll]

What an interesting reaction. :-)

It's my default reaction for learning something new about words I thought I had figured out. With 'taxing', I thought it could mean 'looking at something, sharpy' /'estimate the value of something', and, apperently, it doesn't. Hence, cool :D

Changed the article on 'flame'. Wanted it to match 'the washbowl', but you're right, it should have matched 'a moth'.

Obsessive! Obsessive is good.

I have a thesaurus somewhere :D In actual book form. I never find it when I need it, though.