thinking
So...it's summer vacation and i'm now a junior...last year flew by sooo fast! But i'm sl glad...it just means one less year of high school i have to go. But at the same time...i'm scared to death about the future. About whats going to happen. I just sit and think about what will happen and what should happen and what shouldn't happen but probably will...I wonder why things happen for the reasons they do...why do peoples worlds have to be shattered, why do peoples hearts have to be broken, why do people have to get their hopes up, why can't everyone be happy. My life has been filled with so many questions these past couple days and i've been searching for answers...and so far i've not been very successful! So i decided i'd try to get it out on here...even though i don't really know how to put everything into words... I don't get how come i like someone...and at that same time i know i shouldn't, i know i can't have them and i know its not ment to be but i can't help but like them. And then i start thinking about my past...i thought that stuff would eventually go away but i guess i was way wrong about that...it seems like peoples main goal in life is to find out dirt on other people and then degrade them. Why are people like that. Do they really feel the need to treat other people that badly in order to make themselves feel better?
I've also noticed...thanks to an old friend that i've grown apart from the lord...less than 2 months ago i was so involved in church and i loved going...but now i find myself just going because its the right thing to do or my parents want me to go. And i know thats not where my heart should be. Things just dont make sense to me these days...i try and put on a happy face like i'm always happy...but in reality i'm so confused and scared and lonley which sounds awful but idk its the truth...I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life...hopefully a good one that i will be proud of...i have a lot of thinking to do and a lot of goals to achieve...i think i should go after what i want and if i achieve them then i achieve them...if i fail...atleast i gave it a try...sometimes i wonder if i'm scared of failure...mayb i am ... mayb i'm not i'm not exactly sure at the moment...?
♥ Morgan
I've also noticed...thanks to an old friend that i've grown apart from the lord...less than 2 months ago i was so involved in church and i loved going...but now i find myself just going because its the right thing to do or my parents want me to go. And i know thats not where my heart should be. Things just dont make sense to me these days...i try and put on a happy face like i'm always happy...but in reality i'm so confused and scared and lonley which sounds awful but idk its the truth...I'm ready to start a new chapter in my life...hopefully a good one that i will be proud of...i have a lot of thinking to do and a lot of goals to achieve...i think i should go after what i want and if i achieve them then i achieve them...if i fail...atleast i gave it a try...sometimes i wonder if i'm scared of failure...mayb i am ... mayb i'm not i'm not exactly sure at the moment...?
♥ Morgan