(no subject)
So how's life latley? I haven't used this in forever but life has gotten pretty crappy latley and i just needed somewhere to let it all out. Well lets see where do i start?
Well first i had this amazing boyfriend and we had been datin for uhm 4 and a half months and it was like the best time of my life and im not even kidding...and then outta no where, one day he calls me up and says he thinks it would be better if we don't date rite now because he doesn't think its a good time for him to be in a relationship and we never see each other. I was in shock! Not to mention 2 hours later i had to go cheer at a basketball game. I cried for those 2 hours and then at the game. Then when i got home i got on the computer and talked to him and he was like i still wanna be friends and i still love you......what i sersouly don't get is how you can like someone so much and break their heart liked that....i remember all that nonsense how he'd tell me we were gonna get married and all this other crap....yea i admit it i was stupid to believe him. And so then over thanksgiving he went to Georgia to go huntin and see his family. So i get on his myspace and see this comment this other girl left him sayin i'll tty 2nite....so obvisouly he's been talkin to this girl on the phone? I just don't see why God wanted this to happen? Why do i have to go through this pain? I guess things are gettin better or mayb im just getting used to the pain....i've brought myself to smile but its not the same smile i had when i was with him...when i do laugh...im holding back tears. Everyone says it can only get better....and sometimes i wonder how? I don't get any of this. Its not fair. How come in life you have to go through so many heart breaks to find that one guy. I sersouly thought i had found my guy but i guess not. I sersouly don't think im ever going to find anyone as good as or better as him. I guess like i always said i was so lucky to have him because he could be gone in a heart beat....i wish this whole nitemare would be over...these days i don't have an appetit, im not as happy as i used to be, all i wanna do is sit at my house, and idk i just don't like life rite now. I haven't told this to anyone because i guess i don't know how to say everything and i don't know who to say it to. All my friends have boyfriends. And whenever i'm with them and their boyfriend i think of me and him and it makes me sad and brings back so many memories. like everything i so reminds me of him...but idk until next time...
Hopefully things will get better!