Nerd Parties and Trans Issues
FACT: My arms hurt from pole dancing.
FACT: At the same time that I wrote this I got a text from Jess saying “My arms are so sore from pole dancing and moving furniture.” At least I am not the only one. I lift weights regularly but one night of twirling really has me feeling like a week of boot camp. I now know that strippers work hard for their money and have extreme upper body strength. Poles > Shake weights
Recently I have been talking with a friend who has come out as trans. He told me he is now going by Camden and he is gay. He likes men and he is tired of lesbians hitting on him. He hasn’t started T yet but will be moving out of state soon due to being disowned by the world and to start his transitioning process. We have been talking about all kinds of trans issues. I told him to check out the photography of Loren Cameron and books by Kate Bornstein. We compare our childhoods and our life experiences and he thinks I am also trans. He told me he thinks of me as a boy and has fantasized about kissing me. I told him I have fantasized about him as well. I don’t think anything will come of it, but I do love how exciting and new this is to think about.
My weekend consisted of deep conversations in abandoned apartments while taking pulls of Whiskey until 6A.M. Everyone talked about families, future, and sexual fluidity. I woke up in a bed being cuddled with by a beautiful woman and I didn’t care. I typically dislike being touched by someone while I sleep, but the cold crisp air that felt like daggers on my exposed skin had me recoiling back into the bed. It was almost a nice feeling of security.
I have a new friend that loves to talk about physics, space, and things I really can’t wrap my head around. Luckily she enjoys talking more than I do so I don’t have to give back to the conversation as much as I just have to let her know I am still paying attention. We got along really well until she started telling me how attractive my roommate and I were. Following us around and wanting to sleep next to whichever one of us was okay with it. I have this bubble that pops every time affection comes near it, especially if the affection comes off as creepy.
Since I have lived in the Midwest I haven’t had a great dancing experience. My friends go to shows, they go to bars, they play pool and do experimental art projects. For Josh’s birthday we went out dancing in a pack and dominated all the stages and dance floors. The 7 drinks really had me thinking I looked good dancing on poles and the new friends I was making also encouraged that probable false idea. The night before my future engineer friend had a nerd party. Her place was decorated with math equations, beakers, and sketches everyone got to draw of other people at the party. My sketches of Ella and Jenn turned out nicely and my cat sweater I found for free made me the Bell of the ball. I even got offered money for it.
I remember as a child I had few friends and would sit around reading cat books that I had checked out from the library, I would also draw pictures of cats and journal about them. I am glad that my love of cats has finally been accepted by a small group of women who also obsess over felines.
FACT: At the same time that I wrote this I got a text from Jess saying “My arms are so sore from pole dancing and moving furniture.” At least I am not the only one. I lift weights regularly but one night of twirling really has me feeling like a week of boot camp. I now know that strippers work hard for their money and have extreme upper body strength. Poles > Shake weights
Recently I have been talking with a friend who has come out as trans. He told me he is now going by Camden and he is gay. He likes men and he is tired of lesbians hitting on him. He hasn’t started T yet but will be moving out of state soon due to being disowned by the world and to start his transitioning process. We have been talking about all kinds of trans issues. I told him to check out the photography of Loren Cameron and books by Kate Bornstein. We compare our childhoods and our life experiences and he thinks I am also trans. He told me he thinks of me as a boy and has fantasized about kissing me. I told him I have fantasized about him as well. I don’t think anything will come of it, but I do love how exciting and new this is to think about.
My weekend consisted of deep conversations in abandoned apartments while taking pulls of Whiskey until 6A.M. Everyone talked about families, future, and sexual fluidity. I woke up in a bed being cuddled with by a beautiful woman and I didn’t care. I typically dislike being touched by someone while I sleep, but the cold crisp air that felt like daggers on my exposed skin had me recoiling back into the bed. It was almost a nice feeling of security.
I have a new friend that loves to talk about physics, space, and things I really can’t wrap my head around. Luckily she enjoys talking more than I do so I don’t have to give back to the conversation as much as I just have to let her know I am still paying attention. We got along really well until she started telling me how attractive my roommate and I were. Following us around and wanting to sleep next to whichever one of us was okay with it. I have this bubble that pops every time affection comes near it, especially if the affection comes off as creepy.
Since I have lived in the Midwest I haven’t had a great dancing experience. My friends go to shows, they go to bars, they play pool and do experimental art projects. For Josh’s birthday we went out dancing in a pack and dominated all the stages and dance floors. The 7 drinks really had me thinking I looked good dancing on poles and the new friends I was making also encouraged that probable false idea. The night before my future engineer friend had a nerd party. Her place was decorated with math equations, beakers, and sketches everyone got to draw of other people at the party. My sketches of Ella and Jenn turned out nicely and my cat sweater I found for free made me the Bell of the ball. I even got offered money for it.
I remember as a child I had few friends and would sit around reading cat books that I had checked out from the library, I would also draw pictures of cats and journal about them. I am glad that my love of cats has finally been accepted by a small group of women who also obsess over felines.