009 (Video) Backdated to BEFORE the latest Animus fuckery

[checkoutpandora]

 [The PCD angles on the remains of... Well, what used to be a table, but now it's just a pile of charred ash. Alas, poor table. After a moment, Gabriel flips it around to reveal him looking THE SMUGGEST EVER.]

Anyone got an extra table lying around? Ours caught something and sadly had to be put down. [Obviously, he could just manifest a table, but

Comments

[filtered]

[hexdontlie]

[Jinx is laying on her side on her bed. Her hair is down and she seems to be enjoying her rose petals. Right now, she's running one across the tip of her nose, looking into the camera of her PCD.]

Does that mean your finally moving out of your big brother's house to find a place of your own?

[A smirk.] The table was your going away present. It's so sad to see you deny it like that.

[filtered]

[painhumbles]

Ohh no. Y'see, I plan on sticking around. I just don't plan on judging you anymore. Your life, your body- whatever. One woman's slow downward spiral is another woman's paradise.

Besides, we're in-laws now. You oughta get used to me.

[filtered]

[hexdontlie]

[She runs the rose petal along her lips and rolls her eyes.]

He's my boyfriend. I have no relation nor obligation to you. And I bet you can't last a week without making some commentary on my choices.

[filtered]

[painhumbles]

We're a package set, and I will tolerate the shit outta your choices and if I fail? I'll catch you a unicorn.

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[hexdontlie]

[She sits straight up, grabbing her PCD and staring at it with wide eyes.]

...there are unicorns here?

[filtered]

[painhumbles]

Out in the Wastes. See? There are actual benefits to having me around.

[filtered]

[hexdontlie]

[Judge her. Judge her as hard as you physically can, Gabriel.]

If you're bullshitting me I will kill you and not care about the consequences.

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[painhumbles]

[IT IS THE JUDGING OF THE GLEEFUL.]

Oh, honey. I'd never lie to a girl about unicorns.

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[hexdontlie]

[She falls down onto the bed again, careful of her back, and lets out a dreamy sigh.]

I like this place more and more. I think I'll stay.

[filtered]

[painhumbles]

Oh yeah, it's every little girl's dream- sex with Satan and unicorns.

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[hexdontlie]

And then there's this other guy who likes me so much that he writes me poetry and covers my bedroom in rose petals.

My life is great.

[filtered]

[painhumbles]

Christian Slater's here? [OH SO INNOCENT.]

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[hexdontlie]

And I'll think of him while I roll around naked in rose petals. [She sets down the PCD, gets up on her knees, and reaches up like she's going to undo the back of her dress.]

I so wish he'd come join me.

[filtered]

[painhumbles]

[...It's morbid curiosity that gets him to show up at her door. NOTHING MORE.]

Wow. A truce, a unicorn, and some rose petals and suddenly it's like you're a different girl. Or this is a trap.

[offline]

[hexdontlie]

[She takes her hands off the back of her dress before its undone, shuts off her PCD, and tosses it to the side. The girl lays down on the bed like she's Elvira and curls her clawed index finger at him, beckoning the archangel toward her.]

[offline]

[painhumbles]

Mrs. Robinson, I think you're trying to seduce me. Hoping Lucifer'll get jealous and throw me out? [Saunter, saunter, although he stops good foot from the bed.]