news flash: the world is found to be flat after all!

[checkout_bound]

I was very proud of myself last night. I finished up that essay that I posted earlier--I think last week--in MLA format, and sent it in, along with a bunch of online quizzes that I was supposed to do for class. I've almost finished with that list. I still have a bunch of journals to do, but I'm not too worried about it. I have my Article Review to

Comments

[roadwarrior220]

Quite the experience. I remember retreats and worship services that did that to me. Fusion did that several times when I was at Westwinds--particularly our more intense worship service, Encounter.

Glad to hear things are getting better at school. When are you moving on campus?

[roadwarrior220]

And I hardly think you're losing your writer's touch. Even I have a hard time articulating what's going on in my head or saying what I want to say. Don't read too much into it.

[checkout_bound]

thanks, dear. I would still like to get back to writing someday when I have time.

[roadwarrior220]

So would I. Obviously, my time and access to my writing is severely limited, but I'd like to at least start writing short stories again.

[checkout_bound]

I've never really been able to write short stories. I hate not being able to really develop the characters and...I don't like to have a basic point to what I'm writing. There are always multiple morals of the story that I want to portray.

It might also be that I don't enjoy reading short stories very much. Novels are best.

~Megan

[checkout_bound]

We were waiting for my parents' next paychecks. I'll have the security deposit check on Friday. I don't know if I can move in as soon as Friday...but I'm trying to get a hold of the R.A. to see if I can.

Devotionals often make me cry, partially because I'm *holds up hand, finger a millimeter apart from my thumb* thiiis close to being what God wants me to be, and thinking how God wants me to think.

What has gotten me to this place in life where I'm so satisfied with myself, and I'm so confident that God is satisfied with me? It's partially my beloved, the way he inspires me to see things in different ways and to have compassion for people. And it's partially my inherent love for God that is blossoming as of late.

~Megan

[roadwarrior220]

I'm really not sure how close I am to being what God wants me to be. I know I'm starting to see WHO he wants me to be. It's just a matter of finally getting there.

It really is nice that you have a partner who makes you want to be a better person. That above all is the most important thing in a relationship--that they encourage you to be yourself, but also that they help you to see who you can be.

I think I need to step back a bit from myself and look at what it is that God wants from me, because he obviously knows me a lot better than I do. I'm reading a book that's helping a bit--it's called "Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith." You might enjoy it.

[checkout_bound]

All you have to do, dearest, is follow Him, and He'll shape who you are without you even noticing. All you have to do is trust.

And believe me, simply trusting is harder than I make it sound just there. As control-freaky as I am, trust is one of the hardest things to do, but once I did...

It's just amazing.

And he shaped this woman...and he made the light that shines from me as a beacon. And I know that my beacon shines. I'm not going to be modest about it because I know that doesn't come from me. It comes from God. Everything that anyone knows me loves about me is from Him, not me.

And it's a blessing to be told by so many that they see His light shining through me.

~Megan

[roadwarrior220]

My concern is that I've strayed from the path he laid out for me. I followed what I thought was his calling, but I'm more convinced by the day that it was me listening to what I wanted, not what he had in store for me. I know what me made me to be, and I'm afraid I'm far away from that now. I want to return to how I used to be--completely confident in him and in myself, and beaming strength, understanding, and passion. Lately it's less of a white-hot light and more of a candle flickering in the wind.

I do see his light shining through you. It's no wonder I'm drawn to you.

[checkout_bound]

Don't be so quick to judge whether or not it was His calling. He needed you to be right where you are in life, needed you to experience the things you did when you thought you were following Him.

So now you decide to come back to Him. And thank goodness His arms are eternally open. I've messed up a lot. I really have. But He's always left his arms open for me.

Thank you. It's always good to know that even when I'm cursing and stumbling along, I still show what is intended for me to show.

~Megan

[roadwarrior220]

Basically, I needed to be humbled. My experiences over the past few months have done that, and very well indeed. I followed a person out here. Not much else. Maybe a half-selfish desire to help people because it's what I wanted to do.

We're both human, you know. We all screw up, but we're all in this struggle together.

[checkout_bound]

I think it was a little more than just a half-selfish desire to help people. You have a heart for others. It's important that you have those experiences. I think you believe now that it was God that sent you there after all. I hope you do, because I have a firm belief of that.

~Megan

[roadwarrior220]

I do like helping people, but my initial motive to come out here wasn't quite that. Now that I'm here, I am glad I'm doing this, even if there is something else I love that I want to do.

I do know he brought me out here. I just wish it wasn't such a rough ride so far.