Random post of bitchiness

[chebonne]

So, since I decided that Zac Efron is my favorite part about Hairspray, I decided to give HSM another shot to see if I like it any better this time around. Yeah, no such luck. I'm sorry for the consequent bitchiness, if you like HSM this is possibly not the post for you.

Things I can't stand about High School Musical: a list.

• Troy Bolton in general. God, how is that such a cheesy role? I am however charmed by Zac Efron when he hams it up a little, if nothing else.

• God the cheese, it's killing me. Gabriella even says, straight out, that she is the "freaky genius girl" and she's such a stereotype (and a Mary Sue) I don't even know what to do.

• Gabriella flirting in the karaoke sequence. Just. Please, no. Please tell me Vanessa is better at it than that, because I don't want to lose my respect for Zac Efron completely.

However, these can all be excused. I'm sufficiently (if somewhat reluctantly in the case of the first two) charmed by Zac, Vanessa and Ashley, and it's Disney Channel, it was basically made to be inane. This is where we get to the part where I pretty much hate everything:

• Chad whatsisname. Ugh, STFU, you brat. You are the worst friend in the history of ever.

• Taylor. No, please, be a little more annoying.

• Their half-baked, Status Quo plan. I don't CARE if this is what Disney wanted me to feel, I don't CARE if the entire point of the movie is that they're wrong, it still infuriates me to no end. "Save them from themselves" GAG. Also, it couldn't have been done with some smidgen of subtlety? Yes, we get it, stagnation is bad, blah blah, you don't have to be MORONS ABOUT IT. *headdesk*

• The basketball team. Grah. SPORTS IS NOT THE END ALL AND BE ALL OF EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW. I hate that kind of shit, what just because you're good with a ball, suddenly you need to be worshiped? I call bullshit. (Relatedly, aren't they a little short to be basketball players?)

• Sort of a continuation of the previous point: Coach Bolton. GTFO, motherfucker. He is a Coach (which is basically a glorified gym teacher) for a high school team and he lives in a house that looks like a mansion. He is taking bribes or selling crack or something on the side, I'm convinced of this.

• The rather disgusting drama teacher. Please, be a little more stereotypical, dear, I don't think my 1 year old nephew quite got it. Musicale, my big white butt.

• Chad. It cannot be said enough.

And this is before I've even gotten to the end. There are good things, when I'm not choking on the cheese -- Sharpay, Troy being a dweeb and serenading Gabriella on her balcony, the dances are pretty cool even when the songs suck ass (I kind of loathe the Get Your Head In the Game number a little, but the dance with the balls is awesome), Ryan being the campiest ever. Oh, and did I mention Sharpay? I kind of adore Ashley Tisdale a little.

That being said? HSM is not a good movie. Sorry, guys. It's REALLY not. The songs are cute but of no real value, the only thing marginally cool are the dances, the acting is... so and so in places, the plot is so cliché it's about to give up on itself, and the so-called "inspirational" scenes makes me groan. It's obvious that Disney knows their demographic though, because this is a movie made for pre-teen girls (and precious few little boys) who thinks high school is the most glamorous thing and who thinks that Troy Bolton is just dreamy. Like my cousin, who wants to be Sharpay when she grows up.

They're trying though. Gotta give points for that.