It's Painful but without Pain there is no Happiness
So. . . . . I think I may give up. My rent is paid. Thank God. The big huge talk with my folks went better than what I had thought it would. They do have a point. I need to start acting my age and dealing with everything instead of just shooting from the hip and doing whatever I want. They do have a point.
It's not that I don't try, cause I do. I try really hard, I really do. I bust my ass but in the end; I usually don't have much to show for it. Which I'm use it. I don't know. I just really feel like I can't handle stuff anymore like I use to.
I use to be really good at bills and money and stuff like that. We did I sucking so much with it? I just feel like I've been sucking a lot lately. And maybe I have been. It's hard, thinking like that.
I want to be positive. I want to look on the bright side of all of this. But. . . . I just don't think that I can. Or maybe it's because I don't want to. It's hard to always stay positive when stuff like this goes on.
Oh, get this. My car decided to crap out on me and needs 200 in repairs. I believe my god will help me out with this, I honestly do. It's just. . .. hard to deal with it.
So what do I do now?
I've been thinking of moving. But isn't that a form of running away? I'm not so sure anymore. I just don't know what to do. About that, about anything. It's an annoying feeling. Being out of control. I feel very. . . . . unsettled again. very confused. Very unsure.
Life is . . . . . . . being difficult again.
But I'm not sure if I want to run away from it. Maybe I just need to look at it a different way. A learning lesson perhapse? I don't know. It's not that I don't like life. It's not like I don't like living mine. Or anything like that, cause that's not it. It's more like I don't like where I'm at right now.
Maybe that's a better way of saying it. Maybe it's because I want more in my life than what I have. I want to live more before. . . . . it happens. There are places I want to see. I want to do more. I want to feel more. It just feels like . . . . we're running out of time. It's all good though. I mean. . . At least I know I'll make it at least.
Okay, I really don't want this to be all sadness and gloom and stuff.
I'm hanging out In Mitchell, I hate this town; by the way. But I like the company.
Wrap this up- There are up times and down times. Times that go good and times that go bad. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches that are thrown. And believe me, sometimes there are a lot of punches. Look at it this way, at least you know you're alive.
Che~
It's not that I don't try, cause I do. I try really hard, I really do. I bust my ass but in the end; I usually don't have much to show for it. Which I'm use it. I don't know. I just really feel like I can't handle stuff anymore like I use to.
I use to be really good at bills and money and stuff like that. We did I sucking so much with it? I just feel like I've been sucking a lot lately. And maybe I have been. It's hard, thinking like that.
I want to be positive. I want to look on the bright side of all of this. But. . . . I just don't think that I can. Or maybe it's because I don't want to. It's hard to always stay positive when stuff like this goes on.
Oh, get this. My car decided to crap out on me and needs 200 in repairs. I believe my god will help me out with this, I honestly do. It's just. . .. hard to deal with it.
So what do I do now?
I've been thinking of moving. But isn't that a form of running away? I'm not so sure anymore. I just don't know what to do. About that, about anything. It's an annoying feeling. Being out of control. I feel very. . . . . unsettled again. very confused. Very unsure.
Life is . . . . . . . being difficult again.
But I'm not sure if I want to run away from it. Maybe I just need to look at it a different way. A learning lesson perhapse? I don't know. It's not that I don't like life. It's not like I don't like living mine. Or anything like that, cause that's not it. It's more like I don't like where I'm at right now.
Maybe that's a better way of saying it. Maybe it's because I want more in my life than what I have. I want to live more before. . . . . it happens. There are places I want to see. I want to do more. I want to feel more. It just feels like . . . . we're running out of time. It's all good though. I mean. . . At least I know I'll make it at least.
Okay, I really don't want this to be all sadness and gloom and stuff.
I'm hanging out In Mitchell, I hate this town; by the way. But I like the company.
Wrap this up- There are up times and down times. Times that go good and times that go bad. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches that are thrown. And believe me, sometimes there are a lot of punches. Look at it this way, at least you know you're alive.
Che~