Happy SAD!
When I was a kid each year my mom would buy me a box of Valentines of my choice to distribute to my classmates, as was required. Each year I'd carefully save a few so that, as years went on, I had more and more variety to choose from. Perhaps I'd give Jenny a Sesame Street card or Sarah the ones from last year with kittens. On the back of each carefully chosen sentiment I'd add a thoughtful note. This all took a lot of time and thought for a little kid, but it infused me with energy and joy to think of making the people around me feel special. Excitedly I'd enter into February 14.
In exchange, each year, from every friend and classmate, I'd get the generic minimum required Valentine. If I were lucky they'd have bothered to fill out the "to" and "from" fields. On middle school the childish Valentines were gone and I'd watch balloons, roses, or "candygrams"--purchased from Student Council for best friends and crushes--get delivered to the kids around me. Each time I'd hold my breath hoping it was mine; it was delivered to the girl sitting beside me. The feeling of disappointment at the end of the day as I arrived to our empty house, put my backpack down and my coat in the closet I will never forget.
Every damn Valentine's Day of my life has been this way, it seems. I understand the blessing of giving and I really do just like making others happy! But every holiday some part in the back of my mind thinks maybe, just maybe...
When will I learn to quit getting my hopes up? I am such an idiot.
(I think it's just the nature of the holiday. I heard the DJ on the radio say the holiday is evil, and I think he's totally right.
In exchange, each year, from every friend and classmate, I'd get the generic minimum required Valentine. If I were lucky they'd have bothered to fill out the "to" and "from" fields. On middle school the childish Valentines were gone and I'd watch balloons, roses, or "candygrams"--purchased from Student Council for best friends and crushes--get delivered to the kids around me. Each time I'd hold my breath hoping it was mine; it was delivered to the girl sitting beside me. The feeling of disappointment at the end of the day as I arrived to our empty house, put my backpack down and my coat in the closet I will never forget.
Every damn Valentine's Day of my life has been this way, it seems. I understand the blessing of giving and I really do just like making others happy! But every holiday some part in the back of my mind thinks maybe, just maybe...
When will I learn to quit getting my hopes up? I am such an idiot.
(I think it's just the nature of the holiday. I heard the DJ on the radio say the holiday is evil, and I think he's totally right.