Dead Woman Walking...or Riding
Dollhouse: 1-10: Haunted
Topher enjoys his Sack of Inapproriate Starches. Or, I call 'em Let's Carbo Crispies.
I don't know why this episode was called Haunted. It was as if they were promising Ghosts but reneged. Ghosts would have improved this one considerably.
While waiting for the Dollhouse, I switched channels to The Ghost Whisperer because my government-paid-for-digital-converter box can become as unreliable as a Congressman's promises to a hooker on Friday nights. Must be gremlins. I do try to placate them.
Also, Prison Break depresses me. Why did those guys break out of prison? They were more entertaining when they were in prison. There is nothing more compelling than Bad Boys Behind Bars and Each Other. I got all six seasons of OZ when it was on sale at Amazon. And I have been watching that. Maybe I'll post about it later.
Anyway, The Ghost Whisperer is about Real Ghosts and Jennifer Love Hewitt, who listens to a Ghost an episode. She never has anything to say to the Ghost, other than what anyone would say to a Ghost should they ever encounter one. If a Ghost shows up, late one night in my private space (OK, my bedroom or the kitchen), I would grab for the canned Dream Whip and say, "What do you want?" "Who are you?" "Get the hell out of my private space, Intruder!" And I would rattle the canned Dream Whip and act like it was Mace or a taser or something.
Jennifer Love Hewitt, when she encounters a Ghost, is not as territorial as I am. She frowns and puts on her "I am Concerned about all this Astral Projecting" face and says, "What do you want?" And she does this in a medium shot because her breast demand it. It's in their contract or something.
The Ghost then rattles on for 2 to 3 minutes like a distracted Medical Marijuana Protester on subjects tangental to its real desires.
For example:
JLH ÔÔ: (she spots a Ghost) "What do you want?"
Ghost: "My untimely demise has made me anxious and bitter toward the only people who can provide me company in my deathy loneliness. I have grudges against the living. I die and all my so-called friends, living friends, avoid me, the useless bunch of live losers! They only liked me when I was alive. Now that I am dead and have progressed to another existence, they have dumped me and are off acting like I no longer exist! Oh woe! What do I do with myself now? And they make me wear the same clothes every frakkin' day and night. No wonder I can't find any dead people to hang with. They think that I am uncool. What do I do now? Other than annoy the living?
Concerned Spectator: (there is always one of these hanging around the Ghost) "What does the Ghost want?"
JLH ÔÔ: (screwing up her pretty face with concern and her plump breasts with the milk of human kindness) "Revenge!"
Huh? I don't think that Miss JLH ÔÔ is listening to the Ghost. She just whispers at it.
There is also some guy that the Ghost talks to (he is played by the guy from Mask 2 who proved how talented Mr. Jim Carrey was in Mask 1 when he was not being annoying) and he doesn't even bother to listen to the Ghost.
JLH ÔÔ is the Ghost Whisperer and Mask 2 Guy is the Ghost Ignorer. This show has balance.
Now, on to the Dollhouse....
In this episode, we learn that Topher is a lonely, lonely guy (but not a ghost). He has no friends, so Mme DeWitt lets him make an imaginary friend out of a Doll (Sierra) and play with her.
Topher is just like Mme DeWitt, who is a lonely, lonely woman who has no friends and has to make Dollie Victor play with her.
Topher and Mme DeWitt have different ideas of playing with the Dollies. Topher is into intellectual gamesmanship. Mme DeWitt prefers the old Slap and Tickle.
But I err, Mme DeWitt does have a BFF, Margaret, who is actually Mme DeWitt's OF (Only Friend). Margaret just recently came to the Dollhouse and left her imprints there. Then Margaret went back home and fell off her horse. And Mme DeWitt resurrects her! To solve a Crime! Margaret's Crime! Who pushed Margaret off her horse, so that they might collect Margaret's Millions?
It's an Agatha Old Fashioned Christie Murder Mystery. And Echo is the Dead Woman Walking!
Echo is imprinted with Margaret and she hangs with Mme DeWitt and banters with her. How shall I put this? Margaret was a lady of a certain age, who had a Manilla Boy Toy for a husband (GRRRRR, you Cougar) and who had two grown children (her daughter was thirty something, the far side of that thirty) and yet, Echo does not age at all. Not a wrinkle, not a needle prick where the Botox was injected, and no reading glasses when she rewrote her will. Echo picks up an imprint's asthma and stigmatism and yet manages to avoid picking up Margaret's aging process? Something is not right there. I'll bet that Mother Nature left Echo a package while she was Margaret.
Echo boxes Ballard the X-FBI to a draw, but can't fight off her attacker. I guess that needle holds good Botox memories for her.
That's the first mystery.
In the Agatha Christie mystery, we get Echo as Hercules Poirot (but without the fat and mustache) or Echo as Sherlock and Victor as Watson or Echo as Yogi Bear and Victor as Boo Boo.
And we have the suspects:
Nick was just a Red Hedge Fund Herring. Who really killed Maragaret?
Let us review the suspects.
Resentful Daughter is boring. Nope.
Drunk Brother had possibilities, but they were unexplored. Nope.
Jack, the Hot Husband, was the type for a violent death, not a horse fall.
The Grooms.....
Sure, they had good memories of doing Margaret in the Hay in the Stables while King's Ransom looked on, but nope.
The Lawyers, never rule them out. They are lawyers.
I solved this mystery in the Agatha Christie traditon. Let me proceed.
Whose Back was Margaret riding the day of her death?
Who was there when it (the murder) happened?
And who acted all innocent in the aftermath? Like grass wouldn't cud in his mouth.
Who and whose friends kept track of the investigation?
Kiss my Sorrel Ass.
Who had the fiery disposition and the ability to kill with his bare hooves?
Who had his stable mate run down his rival for Margaret's affections, Jack?
Who had all the motive and the access and the opportunity to do Margaret?
King's Ransom, that is who!
Mystery Solved. Properly!
Incidentals:
Is it me? Or does Margaret look like Mme DeWitt?
Wow! Cute Shoes!
Topher enjoys his Sack of Inapproriate Starches. Or, I call 'em Let's Carbo Crispies.
I don't know why this episode was called Haunted. It was as if they were promising Ghosts but reneged. Ghosts would have improved this one considerably.
While waiting for the Dollhouse, I switched channels to The Ghost Whisperer because my government-paid-for-digital-converter box can become as unreliable as a Congressman's promises to a hooker on Friday nights. Must be gremlins. I do try to placate them.
Also, Prison Break depresses me. Why did those guys break out of prison? They were more entertaining when they were in prison. There is nothing more compelling than Bad Boys Behind Bars and Each Other. I got all six seasons of OZ when it was on sale at Amazon. And I have been watching that. Maybe I'll post about it later.
Anyway, The Ghost Whisperer is about Real Ghosts and Jennifer Love Hewitt, who listens to a Ghost an episode. She never has anything to say to the Ghost, other than what anyone would say to a Ghost should they ever encounter one. If a Ghost shows up, late one night in my private space (OK, my bedroom or the kitchen), I would grab for the canned Dream Whip and say, "What do you want?" "Who are you?" "Get the hell out of my private space, Intruder!" And I would rattle the canned Dream Whip and act like it was Mace or a taser or something.
Jennifer Love Hewitt, when she encounters a Ghost, is not as territorial as I am. She frowns and puts on her "I am Concerned about all this Astral Projecting" face and says, "What do you want?" And she does this in a medium shot because her breast demand it. It's in their contract or something.
The Ghost then rattles on for 2 to 3 minutes like a distracted Medical Marijuana Protester on subjects tangental to its real desires.
For example:
JLH ÔÔ: (she spots a Ghost) "What do you want?"
Ghost: "My untimely demise has made me anxious and bitter toward the only people who can provide me company in my deathy loneliness. I have grudges against the living. I die and all my so-called friends, living friends, avoid me, the useless bunch of live losers! They only liked me when I was alive. Now that I am dead and have progressed to another existence, they have dumped me and are off acting like I no longer exist! Oh woe! What do I do with myself now? And they make me wear the same clothes every frakkin' day and night. No wonder I can't find any dead people to hang with. They think that I am uncool. What do I do now? Other than annoy the living?
Concerned Spectator: (there is always one of these hanging around the Ghost) "What does the Ghost want?"
JLH ÔÔ: (screwing up her pretty face with concern and her plump breasts with the milk of human kindness) "Revenge!"
Huh? I don't think that Miss JLH ÔÔ is listening to the Ghost. She just whispers at it.
There is also some guy that the Ghost talks to (he is played by the guy from Mask 2 who proved how talented Mr. Jim Carrey was in Mask 1 when he was not being annoying) and he doesn't even bother to listen to the Ghost.
JLH ÔÔ is the Ghost Whisperer and Mask 2 Guy is the Ghost Ignorer. This show has balance.
Now, on to the Dollhouse....
In this episode, we learn that Topher is a lonely, lonely guy (but not a ghost). He has no friends, so Mme DeWitt lets him make an imaginary friend out of a Doll (Sierra) and play with her.
Topher is just like Mme DeWitt, who is a lonely, lonely woman who has no friends and has to make Dollie Victor play with her.
Topher and Mme DeWitt have different ideas of playing with the Dollies. Topher is into intellectual gamesmanship. Mme DeWitt prefers the old Slap and Tickle.
But I err, Mme DeWitt does have a BFF, Margaret, who is actually Mme DeWitt's OF (Only Friend). Margaret just recently came to the Dollhouse and left her imprints there. Then Margaret went back home and fell off her horse. And Mme DeWitt resurrects her! To solve a Crime! Margaret's Crime! Who pushed Margaret off her horse, so that they might collect Margaret's Millions?
It's an Agatha Old Fashioned Christie Murder Mystery. And Echo is the Dead Woman Walking!
Echo is imprinted with Margaret and she hangs with Mme DeWitt and banters with her. How shall I put this? Margaret was a lady of a certain age, who had a Manilla Boy Toy for a husband (GRRRRR, you Cougar) and who had two grown children (her daughter was thirty something, the far side of that thirty) and yet, Echo does not age at all. Not a wrinkle, not a needle prick where the Botox was injected, and no reading glasses when she rewrote her will. Echo picks up an imprint's asthma and stigmatism and yet manages to avoid picking up Margaret's aging process? Something is not right there. I'll bet that Mother Nature left Echo a package while she was Margaret.
Echo boxes Ballard the X-FBI to a draw, but can't fight off her attacker. I guess that needle holds good Botox memories for her.
That's the first mystery.
In the Agatha Christie mystery, we get Echo as Hercules Poirot (but without the fat and mustache) or Echo as Sherlock and Victor as Watson or Echo as Yogi Bear and Victor as Boo Boo.
And we have the suspects:
- Margaret's son, Nick, who is a Woman Wooer and Worthless. He is also probably a Hedge Fund Manager and deserves everything that he gets.
- Resentful Daughter.
- Drunk Brother.
- Jack, the Hot Husband. The Boy Toy from Baggio.
- The Stable Boys
- The Lawyers.
Nick was just a Red Hedge Fund Herring. Who really killed Maragaret?
Let us review the suspects.
Resentful Daughter is boring. Nope.
Drunk Brother had possibilities, but they were unexplored. Nope.
Jack, the Hot Husband, was the type for a violent death, not a horse fall.
The Grooms.....
Sure, they had good memories of doing Margaret in the Hay in the Stables while King's Ransom looked on, but nope.
The Lawyers, never rule them out. They are lawyers.
I solved this mystery in the Agatha Christie traditon. Let me proceed.
Whose Back was Margaret riding the day of her death?
Who was there when it (the murder) happened?
And who acted all innocent in the aftermath? Like grass wouldn't cud in his mouth.
Who and whose friends kept track of the investigation?
Kiss my Sorrel Ass.
Who had the fiery disposition and the ability to kill with his bare hooves?
Who had his stable mate run down his rival for Margaret's affections, Jack?
Who had all the motive and the access and the opportunity to do Margaret?
King's Ransom, that is who!
Mystery Solved. Properly!
Incidentals:
Is it me? Or does Margaret look like Mme DeWitt?
Wow! Cute Shoes!