What I Saw: Game of Thrones, Season 2, 1-6
I finally found a way to watch Game of Thrones, making me au courant, so to speak. And no, I am like Little Finger (really? he lets people call him Little Finger?) and the Eunuch (and why is he bald? Eunuchs are NOT bald, they have no testosterone! They can't go bald like a bald man with his own balls), and I tell no tales about what I found out, unless I want to be all superior and annoying and I've got it in for you.
Really? How are Bald Eunuch and Little Finger still walking around and plotting and smirking and all that? Are there two Talleyrands in the Seven Kingdoms (Battle Cry: Seven Up!)? Only one Talleyrand survived serving Louis XVI, the French Revolution, Napoleon, and France in Life After Napoleon and with his reputation intact. Don't call yourself a Survivor until you've performed as well as Talleyrand did. Baldy and Little Finger, you are posturing Wannabees!
And Little Finger was a much better plotter and politician in The Wire than he is here. And in The Wire, he had Good Intentions. It all turned to Crap that you could throw at King Joffery's smug, thin-lipped, inbred face, but Little Finger became the Governor of Maryland with the possibility of President of the USA (or vice president). I don't know about his chances in the Seven Kingdoms if Stannis BaraStag ever makes it to some battle with his kid brother's army intact.
And Stannis Theda Bara with the Count Dracula V Hair Line? He is drawing that in on his forehead, isn't he? Or does his Witch give him Hair Massages with Vagina Black Ooze in the long nights of playing War with Wooden Armies? His Wife and the Witch let him walk around with that hair do in public? Stannis, that is no way to become a Rock Star in Westeros. But I think that Stannis is going for the Ozzie Osbourne of Westeros, he'll be eating live bats next while his Witch Wife runs his career as his Manager. Or, maybe Stannis stole Silver Targaryen's Dragons and he will be eating them live for his next Rock the Westerosians Road Show.
And Silver Targaryen, honey, you have to take care of what you have before you go demanding everything else. You and that brother of yours! All this Inbreeding!
Those Picts or Picked Ons, north of the Frozen Diary Queen Wall, are inbreeding too. It is Genetic Crazy time and you all deserve to die Evil Natural Selection Devised Deaths. No wonder the Picked Ons go all freaky and glass eyed when they have their incest driven fits. They are dead but they didn't die, they just fell down in an ill bred epileptic fit and became narcoleptics or somethings. Although with their warped genetics, they could be very vulnerable to a Zombie Epidemic Virus. So I say, let it play itself out like an ebola virus attack.
And those white walker are obviously Arctic Trolls. Give them some bridges and they will stop bothering the populace.
Theon NoJoy is the most Incompetent, Incompetent, Not Very Good or Smart, Idiot in Westeros. He makes King Joffery look devious and capable of plotting his KIngly Day as King of the Kingdom. And the only talent that King Joffery has ever shown was Interior Throne Room Decorating.
Theon has a lot of boners but not one of them is a political common sense bone in his body. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Although now that I think of it, he has no friends and he has alienated his enemies and who wants to pal around with his father? Well, Theon your are on your own and I abandon you to Your Fate. If Theon is lucky, he will die a quick and early death. But I don't think that Theon is all that Lucky.
Here is a Disclaimer that I should have posted earlier.
I have never read any of these books. They were recommended to me by someone who read Richard Jordan books, and that was Dis-recommendation enough for me. I will never read any of these books, but I will watch the TV show. Everything that I say is based on what I saw on TV. When I watch a TV show that I like, I don't do Spoilers. I just watch.
If I am going to write or post about a TV show, I don't read other reviews or blogs about it. I write what I saw and what I found, then if I am still interested to know about other people's opinions, I will read some things about it, or not.
This is rather disorganized but I shall continue.
Osha has combed her hair. Someday she may wash it. She didn't like the way a sentry was doing his job, so she slit his throat. I thought that Osha should just fine him and give him a warning, but evidently the Work Safety regulations were recently changed by King Joffery. He would do it that way.
My favorite Stark (and wasn't one of the Black Adder's pals named Stark?) is Ricky. I like the way that boy cracks a nut. I want to get a big bag of pecans and sit next to him during council and we can eat our way through that bag of pecans. I like a man who knows how to use his hands and a stamp.
I think that Robb is very pretty. Jon Snow is very pretty as that Pedophile Incester Picked On Guy with all the Daughter-Wives thought too. And come on! That Pedophile Incester Picked On Guy with all the Daughter-Wives would be prosecuted and found guilty of transgressing against Social Norms even in Radical Fundamentalists Circles in Utah.
All this Incest had best stop now. Thank the Seven Gods and the Red One and the Red Comet that Jamie Lannister had the sense to tell his best friend Robb Stark to lock him up and chain him up in a Tiger Cage if Jamie ever considered going back to King's Landing and incesting again with his sister. And Robb is just the Best Friend ever to do it for Jamie.
Bran Stark is very pretty too. He is girl pretty. It is a good thing that Ricky likes me and nuts better, because otherwise, the way that this show goes on about taboo sex relationships, I would worry about Bran being around Ricky.
I like reading about Antarctic exploration in the early 20th century, so I am eagerly waiting for the Wall Boys' Expedition beyond the Frozen Diary Queen Wall to go bad and they start falling down crevasses and into ice flows and their feet and hands freeze and then fall off and parts of their faces freeze and fall off and they keep waiting to be rescued. But they never are. And they all write brave letters to their people who have disowned them and wouldn't read the letters if they ever really got them. And then a Snow Yeti arrives and starts carrying them off one by one and feeding them to his herd of Polar Bears. Because Winter is Coming and the Polar Bears can't crack through the ice to get at the Baby Seals (and that takes care of all the child killing and maiming themes on this show).
That is it for now.
Really? How are Bald Eunuch and Little Finger still walking around and plotting and smirking and all that? Are there two Talleyrands in the Seven Kingdoms (Battle Cry: Seven Up!)? Only one Talleyrand survived serving Louis XVI, the French Revolution, Napoleon, and France in Life After Napoleon and with his reputation intact. Don't call yourself a Survivor until you've performed as well as Talleyrand did. Baldy and Little Finger, you are posturing Wannabees!
And Little Finger was a much better plotter and politician in The Wire than he is here. And in The Wire, he had Good Intentions. It all turned to Crap that you could throw at King Joffery's smug, thin-lipped, inbred face, but Little Finger became the Governor of Maryland with the possibility of President of the USA (or vice president). I don't know about his chances in the Seven Kingdoms if Stannis BaraStag ever makes it to some battle with his kid brother's army intact.
And Stannis Theda Bara with the Count Dracula V Hair Line? He is drawing that in on his forehead, isn't he? Or does his Witch give him Hair Massages with Vagina Black Ooze in the long nights of playing War with Wooden Armies? His Wife and the Witch let him walk around with that hair do in public? Stannis, that is no way to become a Rock Star in Westeros. But I think that Stannis is going for the Ozzie Osbourne of Westeros, he'll be eating live bats next while his Witch Wife runs his career as his Manager. Or, maybe Stannis stole Silver Targaryen's Dragons and he will be eating them live for his next Rock the Westerosians Road Show.
And Silver Targaryen, honey, you have to take care of what you have before you go demanding everything else. You and that brother of yours! All this Inbreeding!
Those Picts or Picked Ons, north of the Frozen Diary Queen Wall, are inbreeding too. It is Genetic Crazy time and you all deserve to die Evil Natural Selection Devised Deaths. No wonder the Picked Ons go all freaky and glass eyed when they have their incest driven fits. They are dead but they didn't die, they just fell down in an ill bred epileptic fit and became narcoleptics or somethings. Although with their warped genetics, they could be very vulnerable to a Zombie Epidemic Virus. So I say, let it play itself out like an ebola virus attack.
And those white walker are obviously Arctic Trolls. Give them some bridges and they will stop bothering the populace.
Theon NoJoy is the most Incompetent, Incompetent, Not Very Good or Smart, Idiot in Westeros. He makes King Joffery look devious and capable of plotting his KIngly Day as King of the Kingdom. And the only talent that King Joffery has ever shown was Interior Throne Room Decorating.
Theon has a lot of boners but not one of them is a political common sense bone in his body. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Although now that I think of it, he has no friends and he has alienated his enemies and who wants to pal around with his father? Well, Theon your are on your own and I abandon you to Your Fate. If Theon is lucky, he will die a quick and early death. But I don't think that Theon is all that Lucky.
Here is a Disclaimer that I should have posted earlier.
I have never read any of these books. They were recommended to me by someone who read Richard Jordan books, and that was Dis-recommendation enough for me. I will never read any of these books, but I will watch the TV show. Everything that I say is based on what I saw on TV. When I watch a TV show that I like, I don't do Spoilers. I just watch.
If I am going to write or post about a TV show, I don't read other reviews or blogs about it. I write what I saw and what I found, then if I am still interested to know about other people's opinions, I will read some things about it, or not.
This is rather disorganized but I shall continue.
Osha has combed her hair. Someday she may wash it. She didn't like the way a sentry was doing his job, so she slit his throat. I thought that Osha should just fine him and give him a warning, but evidently the Work Safety regulations were recently changed by King Joffery. He would do it that way.
My favorite Stark (and wasn't one of the Black Adder's pals named Stark?) is Ricky. I like the way that boy cracks a nut. I want to get a big bag of pecans and sit next to him during council and we can eat our way through that bag of pecans. I like a man who knows how to use his hands and a stamp.
I think that Robb is very pretty. Jon Snow is very pretty as that Pedophile Incester Picked On Guy with all the Daughter-Wives thought too. And come on! That Pedophile Incester Picked On Guy with all the Daughter-Wives would be prosecuted and found guilty of transgressing against Social Norms even in Radical Fundamentalists Circles in Utah.
All this Incest had best stop now. Thank the Seven Gods and the Red One and the Red Comet that Jamie Lannister had the sense to tell his best friend Robb Stark to lock him up and chain him up in a Tiger Cage if Jamie ever considered going back to King's Landing and incesting again with his sister. And Robb is just the Best Friend ever to do it for Jamie.
Bran Stark is very pretty too. He is girl pretty. It is a good thing that Ricky likes me and nuts better, because otherwise, the way that this show goes on about taboo sex relationships, I would worry about Bran being around Ricky.
I like reading about Antarctic exploration in the early 20th century, so I am eagerly waiting for the Wall Boys' Expedition beyond the Frozen Diary Queen Wall to go bad and they start falling down crevasses and into ice flows and their feet and hands freeze and then fall off and parts of their faces freeze and fall off and they keep waiting to be rescued. But they never are. And they all write brave letters to their people who have disowned them and wouldn't read the letters if they ever really got them. And then a Snow Yeti arrives and starts carrying them off one by one and feeding them to his herd of Polar Bears. Because Winter is Coming and the Polar Bears can't crack through the ice to get at the Baby Seals (and that takes care of all the child killing and maiming themes on this show).
That is it for now.