Smallville: Let's Play Charades!
Though perhaps I was too hasty with my Smallville Slash.
We do have moments of Clark and his Tractor, again.
Tractor: "How I've missed you, Clark. You did not heed my oil puddle calls for attention. You and your demanding women. All I have ever asked of you is to tinker with me, endlessly."
Clark: "Well, I am here now, aren't I? And I have my hand in your chest, twiddling your spark plugs."
Tractor: "And they are sparking, Clark! I Spark for You!"
I'll close the barn door on that intimate scene between alien man and his tractor.
Lois Sees Cake and She Jumps In
What Madness is This? You leave a big cake and a bunny girl outfit in the middle of a back alley to tempt Lois?
We all know how this is going to end for a woman like Lois with a costume fetish.
Lois can't keep it hidden any more.
She is OUT!
And don't tell me that the bunny costume doesn't disguise Lois from Ray Sacks, her attempted murderer. What man in the room is going to be looking at Lois's face? Even the gay guys will be checking the bunny fit on that body. Perfect Disguise! Bravo Lois!
Clark is, of course, the exception to this rule. But then, Clark is an Alien and he does have his tractor backup.
Clark does have an epiphany
that is helped by a knockout punch from Lois
and Clark grabs the rabbit and runs.
Clark's Elmer Fudd nightlight would have been proud of him. Ever notice the affinity that Clark has with inanimate objects? It is because he doesn't have the human ability to anthropomorphize objects. He is an alien, he honestly just doesn't get the difference.
And the Daily Planet has become another tabloid rag.
It's publishing Furry Fetishes and Cage Fights.
I remember when only the Inquisitor reported on Streamin' Cage Fights back in Season 6. Now, why would I remember that? What familiar things or people am I seeing that brought that on?
And Tess bought twenty papers of this edition. I don't know what she needs them for. She must be scrap booking or some such craft in her time underground.
What the Bloody....
And speaking of Tess, why is she sneaking around Luthorcorp
interrupting Chloe from embezzling millions of dollars from Oliver's Swiss Bank Account?
Why can't Tess realize that Chloe can be Bad, but Tess Can Not be Bad. Because Tess has not earned the Right to Be Bad and Make Bad Decisions! Those Kandorians just can't cover and kiss Tess's ass the way that those Watchtower Peeps can cover and kiss Chloe's ass. Tess needs some new ass kissers. Because Tess's ass is just fine, thank you.
Tess, put an advertisement in the Daily Planet and the Inquisitor. And start interviewing applicants.
And what does this mean?
Chloe behind bars?
Lois and Her Dollhouse Adventures
Imagine my shock when I saw this.
The Dollhouse is Back! And Lois is IN IT!
Can't keep Lois out of a good excuse to wear a lot of costumes.
This is Lois in Topher's chair. She is going to be detecting, hence the Detective Trench Coat. Step aside, Echo, the Dollhouse has a new Active in Charge.
And here is the Metropolis Topher, mind warping Lois.
Oh look! There is Clark in Lois's mind. She just told you the identity of the Blur, Met Topher. But you are too dull to pick up on that.
And then Clark the Blur rescues Lois from Mind Fucking! Because if Lois is going to be Mind Fucked, Clark will be the one doing it. That was the moral of this episode.
Is Clark flying now? Or is he just leaping really high? I'm confused. Just like Lois.
Lois and Clark Body Language
Lois and Clark must be in love, because their body language mirrors each other.
As do their desk name plates.
And if Love is in the Air at the Daily Planet, then why did Mr. Love Melody himself, Barry White, fire them?
Could you not get enough of their Love? Mr. White?
Breaking Up is Hard to Do When You Don't Know Whom You Are Breaking Up With
Lois and the Blur break up over the telephone and voice modulator and skip tracer.
Well the Blur does. Lois is Old School Analog Phone Booth.
And then Lois meets Clark on the rooftop of the Daily Planet (that fired them both) for a date.
This relationship is becoming very confusing for me. I'm glad that Clark is an Alien. Maybe he understands it.
Supernatural Crossover
In the recent Supernatural episode, Lucifer could control his baser nature no longer and mass murdered a bunch of gods and his brother, Gabriel, at a Motel God Convention. There was one tall unidentified blonde goddess who went missing. We were all concerned for her safety. I think her name tag says Isis.
Relax, everybody. She is safe and sound. She was at Ray Seals' UnJust and Quick Release from the Slammer Party at Tony's Pizza. And none the worse for wear.
Good Things happen to Good Gods.
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