The Mind of a Hunter

[chatchien]

 

Sam and Dean decide to check into a Looney Bin, but not for the usual reasons:

• Dean is depressed by the Deaths of Ellen and Jo in Carthage Missouri and blames himself.
• Sam is depressed because...well Sam is depressed because he is Sam and that is one of his hobbies. Sam's other hobbies are feeling guilty about the Apocalypse and collecting STDs for his Scrapebook.
• Dean is Crazy! The Crazy Bug is crawling in the crawl space of his brain and having broods of more Crazy Bugs. And those voices that Dean hears are Angels. Hey, wasn't listening to Angels the reason that Anna the Angel ended up in the Looney Bin?

No, Sam and Dean check into the Looney Bin



to spy on and practice hunting Mr. Bonkers, aka Satan, who frequents Looney Bins for Spa Treatments, Facials (gotta get the skin back on his face), Electro Shock Enemas, and plotting the Overthrow and Devastation of God's Creation.

Sam has one of his usual tearful confessions in the Psychiatrist's Office where he confesses his complicity in starting the Apocalypse by killing Lilith (com'on, she was asking for it), and Dean, ever the Mollifier, contributes more damning deeds of Sam's misadventures (and remains silent about his own contributions to the Apocalypse). Although later in the episode, Dean will do a Count Down to the End of Days with his own hits on the Bring on the Armageddon charts.

No, while Sam confesses and repents as The Lamb of God plays in the background, Dean is rifling through the offering plates for bills and loose change to pay his bar bill (and we will learn just how large that bar bill is later). Dean is going to have as large a bar bill as the one that God skipped out on. That River Styx Gin of Forgetfulness is expensive stuff.

There are loose screws 




in the Time and Space Continuum 


of Bedlam.

And Why is Nurse WraithIt crawling through the air vents to attack her victims? She has access to everywhere.

Sam and Dean go through a thorough Physical Exam.



Hunters have Great Health Insurance.

And I would like to know, what the Hell is Up Sam's Butt that everyone wants access there? Lucifer, Dean (remember Sam the Car?), Ruby, and Gabriel, to name a few, have explored that sunless territory of the moon.

Is Sam making diamonds from the rough (heh) by crushing his butt cheeks on coal lumps in his gastrointestinal track? (Coal Lumps---is that what we are calling droppings these days?)

So Sam and Dean gain admittance to Ward Three and meet up with another Hunter named Martin to Hunt Lucifer's Snipe.

Martin is just the Ghost of the Hunter that he was. He took a left at Albuquerque.

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The Great Lucifer's Snipe Hunt causes much rage in Sam. Sam is one Straight Man who can't take a Joke.

Sam is back on the railroad tracks of suffering and guilt






when the Villainess Nurse WraithIt appears and tries to drive the golden spike of completion into his brain



so that Nurse WraithIt can feast on Sam's brain. Oh that Yummy Amygdala! Add a little butt fat (if you can find it on Sam) and you've got a brain paté de fart gras that could put Mr. Kripke back in the diner business.

While Nurse WraithIt threatens our Damsel in Distress, Samuel in Tresses, with a poke with an eight incher and incurs Sam's fear and loathing (for something other than himself), Hunter Thompson arrives from a bad acid trip and like a cannon shot, he bursts into the Panicky Sam Room to engage Nurse WraithIt in political syllogisms.



Oh no, that's Dean not Thompson. My mistake.

Dean, who has always been sneerful and snide about the power of Unicorns breaks off Nurse WraithIt's Narwhal Unicorn Horn that she wears as a bracelet and stabs her with the silver butter knife that Nurse WraithIt brought with her to dig the fat out of Sam's butt to further flavor the brain paté de fart gras that she is so fond of.









You should have stuck with the simpler food groups, Sugar.

Sam is saved by Dean.
The Unicorn Wraith dies with a silver blade in her breast. I didn't see any rainbows taking her to Heaven.
And that is one Lucifer's Snipe Hunt down for the Wayward Winchester Boys to ponder Lessons Learned.

And Sam and Dean drive off to somewhere on a road paved with the Wet Potholes of Hell.


Dean Meets His Shrink



Both Dean and his Shrink are professionals and they interrogate each other.  We find out that Dean is a Paranoid Schizophrenic with Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Religious Psychosis. I'm not making that up. It's on his medical chart:



That diagnosis is going to raise his Health Insurance Payments. He should cross out everything but the Religious Psychosis. Health Companies Love Religious Psychosis. They will always pay for that.

We also discover that Dean sleeps 3 to 4 hours a night when he drinks himself to sleep, every couple of nights. Dean has about 55 drinks a week. Are these 55 drinks hard liquor or just beer chasers? And Dean is the Designated Driver who does all the driving. It is apparent to me that Sam has a Death Wish.

And that Dr. Babar who recommended the Winchester Boys to be put in Psychological Stir? Dean may not have any Elephant Books, but he does have an Elephant Friend

named Ba Bar. Who buys him drinks at the Bar. Dean has his own Pooka.


It was all on Dean's face when he saw the Crazy Lady with the Pink Bunny. For a moment, Dean was jealous and thought that Ba Bar was trying to pick up boozy bunny at the Bar. Crazy! Haha! Does Dean even know what it feels like to be sober anymore?

Dean's Shrink wanted to know when Dean was last in a long term relationship---long term is two months.

Dean says never, but com'on. Doesn't Sam count? As Something?

Dean was given the treatment by his Shrink. As I recall, the Analyst, Dr. Tobias Fünke, pioneered TheRape. And Dean knew that he had been thoroughly TheRaped.

Dean's TheRapist reminded me of his girlfriend from Truman High.



She had his number too. She was an intelligent girl, but then some Zombie or Wraith ate her brains and now she wanders among Vampires and annoys the Living as a Dumb Blonde.

Dean had trouble navigating hallways at Truman High


And he has trouble walking the hallways of Bedlam

 that TheRapy is hard on a guy's Psyche.

Why Dean is A Failure

Dean's Shrink was kind enough to enumerate:

• "You got Ellen and Jo killed.
• "You shot Lucifer in the face but you couldn't gank him.
• "You couldn't stop Sam from Killing Lilith. 
• "And Oh Yeah, you broke the first seal.
• "All you do is fail.
• "Did you really think that you, Dean Winchester, with a GED and a Give 'Em Hell Attitude, were really going to beat the devil?"

Well, I see progress, Dr. Shrink. At least now, they are going to try to BEAT the Devil instead of kill him.

And Dr. Shrink muses that all this saving the world, "It's a crushing weight to have on your shoulders."

Yeah, Dean, maybe you should get Atlas or MICHAEL to help you carry that weight?

I Have Seen the Future And It Is A Man From Detroit

Sam is bewildered and bothered and in a bad way. He escaped from the Looney Bin and Lucifer's Snipe Hunt, but...

"I'm mad all the time and I don't know why." Of course, you know why, Sam. You just don't admit it.

And then Dean gives the worst advice that anyone ever gave to anyone who realized that they are mad all the time. Add this to the list of Dean's Failures.

Dean says to Sam, "You're going to take all that crap and you're going to bury it. (Like Lucifer buried the bodies of the victims at Carthage Missouri?) You're going to forget about it. Because that's how we keep going."



Look at that face. That is the face of Sam saying Yes to Satan.



Look at him, Dean. That is what Denial of Sam's Anger is going to get you.

And one last Dean Nugget from his TheRapy

Dean consults with Martin about their Lucifer's Snipe Hunt, "Something shot us up with crazy---maybe it's the ghost of my dad?"

WHAT THE FRIGGIN' FRACK BROUGHT THAT ON?

Here is a ghost of Dean's Dad




Here is another ghost of Sam and Dean's Dad. I don't see the Crazy. Not on John's side anyway.