Blowed Up Bad
Dollhouse was ripping along, dancing over the thin ice, skirting the cracked ice, and then came a big old polar bear belly flop and ::SPLAT!::
It's cold in these waters of flop.
Let me spare you the ordeal of watching this episode.
What happened was that Caroline finally blew up the Halls of Rossum.
And all without a singe on her suede jacket and Margaret riding boots.
Oh dear, her face did get a boo boo and a smudge on it.
But thanks to the help of the King of Conspiracies, now Known as BlowUP Boy
Caroline left the premises without a scratch, except the one on her forehead which will heal without a scar.
Because Caroline is, as we all suspected from the beginning, SPECIAL SPECIALNESS SPARKLY SPECIAL.
You see, Caroline has a SPINE. All of us lack one. And Caroline's spine has a special fruity and tasty juice in it that can fill the fruit juice boxes of the world with the CULT OF PERSONALITY. Yes, Caroline's Spinal Fluid must be tapped for the good of the world.
Yummy! I can hardly wait for my Spinal Cider Juice Taste! It will make my ovaries strong and musclely. And I will be ONCE the woman that I was before, instead of the PMS many. No one will take my personality away from me, no matter how much nicer a person that they might want to make me. I am allowed to be curmudgeon and a dingbat. Thank you!
Just now I figured out where Mr. Whedon got the idea for this show. From Spinal Tap's Working on a Sex Farm.
Spinal Tap:: Spinal Tap ✔
Sex Farm:: Dollhouse ✔
Derek Smalls:: Topher Brink ✔
Jeanine Pettibone:: Echo/Caroline ✔
Bobbi Flekman:: Madame General DeWitt ✔
Well, steal from the best, I say.
As for the rest of it, Madame General DeWitt's army storms the Reception Desk of Rossum Corp in Tucson
They meet up with Clyde 1 of Many who is inhabiting Dr. Saunder's body
Those pesky estrogen and progesterone cycles of Dr. Saunders' have made Clyde irrascible, that and his death in the Attic. He wears his suit nicely and puts the moves on Madame General DeWitt (when will the harrassment of women in the military end?)
Then Clyde flirts recklessly with Caroline and ends up knocked out (but not knocked up, I think) and gets dragged out of the Burning Rossum Building by Topher. Right, Topher can't move his swivel chair without the help of Margaret from Ghostfacers.
And that destroyed Rossum Corp Building in Tucson? Still standing at the end of the episode. And not one whiff of smoke from BlowUP Boy who got blowed up Real Good by Caroline. Caroline wouldn't blow any of the Dollies the first time that she hit the Rossum building, but all those sex escapades gave her the Spine to blow it up in this episode. That is some Magic Jumbo Juice in Caroline's Spine.
I realize that this show is about the immutability of the heart, while the brain is a psychotic bitch, witness our Couples in Love
but NONE of this episode made any sense, either logically (hi there brain) or emotionally (oh my heart).
By the way, Mellie DIES, DIES, DIES, DEAD! From love of XFBI Guy no less. I realize that he has a lovely body, but com'on! When has XFBI Guy ever gotten anything Right---brainwise or heartwise? Who would die for HIM? Sleep with him, OK. Die in an Orgasm Sense, right on the spot of love. But Die for Love of HIm? I am lost in the Hallways of Rossum on that one.
And another thing, Mr. Tech Man extracting the precious Elixir of Spinal Juice from Caroline, since when do you stop a delicate medical procedure to go check who is knocking at your NO ADMITTANCE Door? Does a surgeon stop a heart transplant to re-apply her lipstick? Maybe she does, I don't know, but she doesn't let anyone know about it. Who would want to give her his/her heart if they knew about her fickleness?
Oh and the Main Frame at Rossum Headquarters in Tucson, looks like that "Danger Will Robinson" Robot from Lost in Space. Where are all the Dollies hooked up to it? Maybe the Dollies are just the Servers of the Main Frame's Fantasies?
The Ghost Chair is a Friendly Ghost Chair, it leaves psychic doodles and signs for those who live after it.
Is Topher dyslexic? Can he not write a quick set of instructions to follow?
And let us not forget, Topher and his Emotive Psyche Disintegrating Ray Guns:
That boy has a lot to answer for. And it's just not the Brain Apocalypse.
And if you want to know how blowing up the Great Evil for the Better Good of Mankind can work in a good episode for a good show, watch Supernatural 5-10.
That is how you do it.
Everything was lacking in this episode: pacing, writing, visual imagery, adequate direction, suspense, and character development.