'Give me Jesus'
This past week has been sad a week for Singapore. We lost a visionary leader on 23 March. What followed were many govt staff and media working round the clock. Thank you Mr Lee for your hardwork, for your courage, vision and boldness. You raised a hardworking nation, testament in the extra hours many in Singapore worked and even many others who stepped forward to volunteer and show graciousness out of thir own accord. We as a nation will not disappoint. Hope you will be satisfied with what we make of the future.
It was also the week dance ministry was to present an item 'Give me Jesus'. Due to the sombre news earlier this week, the item was postponed.
Nevertheless, I'd like to note down some thoughts through preparing this dance.
'In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus'
We began work on this song about five mth ago in Nov 2014. Back then, it was all work in progress, neither of us certain on a few factors: was the song too slow for a dance item, should it be a solo, how do we dance non stop for 3 min if it were so?
In my personal life, I was getting increasingly frustrated with the job and emotionally upset. Weekly dance min offered a respite from the chaos of my usual daily grind as the song lyrics were also a calming reminder to me each week. Before we began rehearsal on this song proper, we were already using it a few times during our meetings.
After a bad day in Oct, I recall going to sleep in tears.. and asking God 'what's ahead?' 'How else will you work?, am I still capable of anything?'
My parents were away in China on holiday that week so I slept in their room that night. It was comforting to have all the space and time to myself, and to not have to hide my sadness from family members. Yet the quiet within the flat magnified the isolation i felt.
The next morning I woke up and received a what's app text frm dance min leader: 'Charlene, wld u like to help out with recruitment nxt year?'
Given that recruitment was a gd five mths away, I gave a 'yes' in reply.
'When I am alone...'
As the weeks passed, we crossed over into 2015. I was ready for a new year ahead But a few days' work into the year, the empty thoughts haunted again: and so i wrote about being alone in life just to get things out, wishing for these to disappear. Now looking back and reflecting, this song may encourage me should the waves hit again. 'When I am alone, give me Jesus.'
---
Fast forward to March 2015: turns out this is a busy month for dance ministry. We worked on publicity for both our outreach Jazz and tone class and recruitment (the team I was part of).
Recruitment audition was held on tue, 24 March this wk. When it finally came to 8pm that day, it suddenly struck me: we've made it to complete recruitment. It was possible. I did it!
In between the months of Jan till now, i also decided to take the plunge and leave the place that was caving me in. Since then, i feel alive and powerful again. A voice is possible within me. Each day i begin to believe again that i am capable, i have potential and all things are possible if we set our mind to it.
Aside frm the mourning and following the news of national affairs, this week was unusually busy with church-related duties: dance recruitment, first try at leading cg, on top of working late on other days. Yet i also had two blessed catch-up sessions with two friends. Somehow, these exchanges were the kind that feed your soul spiritually and not the usual chat-me-up hangout type of meet ups that help us relax.
The first friend, i met with over lunch. Somehow, conversation led to her sharing with me her testimony and how she grew closer to God. It reminded me of the day in October that i experienced. silently in my heart, i knew i wasn't alone. The second friend, she invited me to her newly renovated home and i was blessed by being in someplace cosy on a weeknight. We discussed church life and cg matters. Quite fitting also, because this was one day before my group was to led cg.
Having all these bits happening in the past week has been precious to me. The past week for Singapore was no ordinary week, and in the same way, it was out-of-the-blue for me personally also.
After a little more time of reflection and adjusting back to what was before this past week, what lies ahead is another adventure that i am excitedly anticipating. I am ready for anything, given my youth, energy and time. May Singapore (and me too) see new bursts of colour and inspiration after this cloud of mourning and instrospection lifts, even if for a little bit, or gradually.
Jesus be the center and focus of my life. In any situation, give me Jesus. For with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm.
It was also the week dance ministry was to present an item 'Give me Jesus'. Due to the sombre news earlier this week, the item was postponed.
Nevertheless, I'd like to note down some thoughts through preparing this dance.
'In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus'
We began work on this song about five mth ago in Nov 2014. Back then, it was all work in progress, neither of us certain on a few factors: was the song too slow for a dance item, should it be a solo, how do we dance non stop for 3 min if it were so?
In my personal life, I was getting increasingly frustrated with the job and emotionally upset. Weekly dance min offered a respite from the chaos of my usual daily grind as the song lyrics were also a calming reminder to me each week. Before we began rehearsal on this song proper, we were already using it a few times during our meetings.
After a bad day in Oct, I recall going to sleep in tears.. and asking God 'what's ahead?' 'How else will you work?, am I still capable of anything?'
My parents were away in China on holiday that week so I slept in their room that night. It was comforting to have all the space and time to myself, and to not have to hide my sadness from family members. Yet the quiet within the flat magnified the isolation i felt.
The next morning I woke up and received a what's app text frm dance min leader: 'Charlene, wld u like to help out with recruitment nxt year?'
Given that recruitment was a gd five mths away, I gave a 'yes' in reply.
'When I am alone...'
As the weeks passed, we crossed over into 2015. I was ready for a new year ahead But a few days' work into the year, the empty thoughts haunted again: and so i wrote about being alone in life just to get things out, wishing for these to disappear. Now looking back and reflecting, this song may encourage me should the waves hit again. 'When I am alone, give me Jesus.'
---
Fast forward to March 2015: turns out this is a busy month for dance ministry. We worked on publicity for both our outreach Jazz and tone class and recruitment (the team I was part of).
Recruitment audition was held on tue, 24 March this wk. When it finally came to 8pm that day, it suddenly struck me: we've made it to complete recruitment. It was possible. I did it!
In between the months of Jan till now, i also decided to take the plunge and leave the place that was caving me in. Since then, i feel alive and powerful again. A voice is possible within me. Each day i begin to believe again that i am capable, i have potential and all things are possible if we set our mind to it.
Aside frm the mourning and following the news of national affairs, this week was unusually busy with church-related duties: dance recruitment, first try at leading cg, on top of working late on other days. Yet i also had two blessed catch-up sessions with two friends. Somehow, these exchanges were the kind that feed your soul spiritually and not the usual chat-me-up hangout type of meet ups that help us relax.
The first friend, i met with over lunch. Somehow, conversation led to her sharing with me her testimony and how she grew closer to God. It reminded me of the day in October that i experienced. silently in my heart, i knew i wasn't alone. The second friend, she invited me to her newly renovated home and i was blessed by being in someplace cosy on a weeknight. We discussed church life and cg matters. Quite fitting also, because this was one day before my group was to led cg.
Having all these bits happening in the past week has been precious to me. The past week for Singapore was no ordinary week, and in the same way, it was out-of-the-blue for me personally also.
After a little more time of reflection and adjusting back to what was before this past week, what lies ahead is another adventure that i am excitedly anticipating. I am ready for anything, given my youth, energy and time. May Singapore (and me too) see new bursts of colour and inspiration after this cloud of mourning and instrospection lifts, even if for a little bit, or gradually.
Jesus be the center and focus of my life. In any situation, give me Jesus. For with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm.