Fic: Mr Banana
Title: Mr Banana
Universe: St Nicholas Home for Troubled Youth
Rating: PG
Pairing: Nate/Sophie, Eliot/Parker
Warnings: Mention of child abuse
Summary: Three weeks after moving to Boston, Alec's principal wants a parent-teacher conference.
Alec really super loved school. He liked South Boston Elementary. Miss Nana was totally a better teacher than Sister Tara Colman and he’d told Eliot so. And he knew Eliot told Parker because Eliot told Parker everything, even secret things.
Alec loved his Eliot and his Father Nate. He’d never had a dad before, not that he could remember, even though he knew he had to have had a dad at some point. Eliot was super awesome. He gave him hugs and books and kept the bullies at St Nicholas’ away from him. Plus, he made sure Parker was around and Alec loved Parker. And Father Nate, he was what Alec figured a real dad was like, even if he drank so much that Eliot hid Alec in the bedroom sometimes.
“Eliot! Eliot! Eliot!” Alec yelled, diving into his foster-brother’s arms.
“What is it lil’ man?” Eliot asked, lifting Alec high, like he and his backpack didn’t weigh anything at all. “You get another A on your math test?”
Alec rolled his eyes. He knew that Eliot knew he only had math on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Besides, Parker only gave him the special books when he got A pluses. Two weeks after they left St Nicholas’ School for Troubled Boys, Parker told Eliot that plain A’s didn’t count. And Eliot almost never argued with Parker, even when she was totally wrong.
“Mister Banana wants to see Nate and Sophie.”
Eliot froze for a long minute and that always meant he held Alec tight against him. Alec sometimes did it on purpose, said things that put Eliot off his guard so he would hold him tight. He usually only hugged Parker tight, up close against him with skin on skin, and when he held Alec tight when he was scared, Alec knew it was because Eliot cared.
“You mean Sister Sophie and Father Nate?” Eliot growled, holding Alec close to his chest and carrying him out to where Parker was waiting.
“Yeah,” Alec told him, pressing his face against Eliot’s chest, breathing in the smell of safeEliothopefamilylove. “Mr. Banana said he’s worried about me.”
Alec breathed out when he felt Eliot’s other arm wrap around him. Eliot wasn’t a hugging sort of guy. Alec knew that. The other guys at St. Nick’s used to make fun of him, saying nasty things about Alec sleeping in Eliot’s bed. But Alec didn’t care. He’d watched Parker punch Colin and Victor for making fun of him and Eliot always, always let him burrow into his arms for safety. Alec knew that Eliot and Parker would forever and always be a safe place for him.
“Banano wants to see Father Nate and Sister Sophe,” Eliot told Parker, when they reached the car. He only shifted Alec to his other hip. Alec liked that Eliot would hold him longer than anyone else, even if he treated him like a baby.
“I can tell Sister Sophie,” Parker said, when Alec’s face was buried in Eliot’s neck. “I can go get her.”
“Yeah,” Eliot said. “Tell ‘em, I’m taking Alec to Friendly’s, okay? You know where to find me.”
Alec waved goodbye to Parker when she took off toward the T station near school. Eliot didn’t, but Eliot never waved goodbye to anyone. Parker did; she was the one who taught Alec how to do it right - with his fingers splayed wide and with a big arm motion. Sophie liked to mutter under her breath when they waved goodbye to her on their way to school, but Alec knew it was Sophie’s way of saying she loved them, too.
“How ‘bout an ice cream cone,” Eliot said, finally putting Alec down when they got close to Friendly’s.
“Can I get jimmies?” Alec asked him very seriously.
“Yeah, man, you can get jimmies.” Eliot ran his hand through Alec’s hair and guided him toward the counter. “Coffee ice cream and jimmies? You wanna cup, too?”
Alec shook his head. “Orange and jimmies. And a waffle cone.” He watched. “I’ll only tell Parker if you get the rainbow sprinkles.”
Eliot smiled at him, one of the real ones Eliot only gave their family. He carried both cones over to the table they always used and waited until Alec was settled before handing him his. Eliot got the same thing he always got when Nate and Sophie weren’t around: vanilla sugar cone and rainbow sprinkles. Alec didn’t understand why he got different kinds when their parents were around, but he figured it was just one of those Eliot things. It was like how Parker wouldn’t sleep in her own room at all.
Alec told Eliot about his day. He told him how Miss Nana gave him a gold star for art and how he beat Aimee at the spelling bee. And he told him how he had the best lunches in the whole school (because who else had an older brother who made sushi for school lunches?) and how he didn’t even have to use the duck-and-cover strategy Parker taught him because the school bullies stopped bothering him. And Eliot didn’t say anything because Eliot never did, but he didn’t stop Alec from climbing in his lap and only shoved him out after Alec tried to steal a bite of his ice cream cone.
So when Nate and Sophie and Parker showed up - after Eliot bought Parker her own double chocolate fudge ice cream - Alec didn’t mind holding Sophie’s hand on the way back to school. Sophie was awesome. She was really pretty and always smelled nice, even back when she was Sister Sophia and he would sneak out of classes to sit with her and Parker in the courtyard. And when he got to walk between her and Nate and hold both their hands while Eliot and Parker were right behind, it was almost as good as the nights they all curled up on the couch, ate popcorn, and watched the Twilight Zone.
Mr Banana was the school principal and Alec had already seen him a bunch of times. Mr Banana was very interested in Alec’s life and Alec got the impression he didn’t really like Alec’s family. Mr Banana liked to show up and watch when Eliot and Parker picked him up from school. And he really liked sending notes to Nate and Sophie about how Alec was doing in school. So, when they got to the office, Alec settled on Eliot and Parker’s knees, like he always did, and stared at Mr Banana.
“This is supposed to be just a parent-teacher meeting,” Mr Banana said, looking at Nate and then Sophie. “I understood that Alec’s brother and sister normally take care of him after school.”
“We… like to function as a family,” Sophie told him, giving Mr Banana her best “talking to Monsignor Sterling” smile. “And that means including everyone in important discussions.”
Mr Banana didn’t look like he liked that at all, but kept talking. Alec was figuring out that was what adults did when another adult told them they were wrong. “I’m concerned about your foster son.”
“Son, Mr Banano. Hardison is our son,” Nate said, using the voice he used when he was telling Duberman he was really his best friend from high school. “The adoption paper have been finalized and we made your school well aware of that fact.”
Mr Banana frowned even harder at that. “Your son has been telling some pretty outrageous stories at school. It has some of the teachers and other parents concerned.”
Eliot shifted under Alec. “What kinda outrageous?”
“There was the story about his family stealing a plane and defusing a bomb on the way to the Cayman Islands. And the story about a drug cartel in Juarez and his sister and a pinata bomb. Or the part where his brother is some cross between James Bond and a hired gun. Or the time his older sister showed him how to pickpocket and Alec decided to demonstrate his new skill to the class.” Mr Banana folded his hands together. “However, I will admit that his teacher is most concerned about stories about his home life. He insists that you used to be a nun and a priest. And he has some particularly concerning stories about his siblings. We are more than a little worried about his safety.”
Alec was pulled into an awkward hug by both Parker and Eliot. “You say the word, Father, and I’ll rip out his lungs.”
Nate just made a shushing noise at Eliot. “I’m sure we can clear up this misunderstanding. Hardison has quite the active imagination.”
“I mean, really,” Sophie interrupted. “Going to Juarez with two teenagers and a seven year old? Think of the chaos!”
“Chaos? Right.” Mr Banana paused again. “I took the liberty of calling the local high school and it does appear that some of Alec’s stories about his brother and sister are true. I admit I’m shocked I’m the first person to tell you about them.”
“That they’re dating?” Nate asked. “Because that was true a long time before we managed to adopt any of them.”
Mr Banana blinked at that. He looked funny, like a guy right after Eliot punched him in the solar plexus. “But you admit that your son and daughter are… dating, as you put it. And I’ve personally heard that your son, at least on occasion, shares a single bed with both of them.” He fixed a sort of glare at Eliot, like it wasn’t Parker’s idea that they’d all be happier and safer in Eliot’s bed. “I’ve also seen the bruises Alec comes to school with.”
Parker raised her hand like they were in class. “Oh! That was me! I thought Hardison should know how to jump out a window. You know, in case something bad happened.”
“Jump out a window?”
“I made him a harness,” Parker said and Alec knew she was rolling her eyes. “Besides, it’s an important life skill.”
“And your oldest son?” Mr Banana said, still only looking at Nate and Sophie. “Is there-”
“I don’t gotta explain myself to you!” Eliot exploded, making sure Alec was firmly on Parker’s lap before he stood up. “You ain’t doing anything but trying to make us look bad.”
“Eliot, sit down,” Sophie said gently. “This won’t come to anything and you know it.”
Eliot glared at Mr Banana. “I know exactly what he’s saying. Even if the rest of you are pretending it’s something else, I know what he’s saying about me. He’s - “ Eliot cut himself off, but stared at Mr Banana like he was one of the bad guys and his hands shook the way they did after a nightmare.
“Parker,” Sophie said, her voice a lot gentler, like it was at home. “Why don’t you take Eliot and Alec back to the apartment? I’m sure you can find a better way to spend the evening. Nathan and I are going to be here for a while.”
Alec followed Parker out of the office and down the long school hallways. Eliot was the rearguard, like always, making sure no one bad could follow them and hurt them anymore. It scared Alec when his brother got upset, because Eliot was the strongest person Alec knew. If someone could scare Eliot, they must be awful and scary.
The car ride back to the apartment was silent and scary, too. Parker had the silent tears she always had when something bad happened, like in Belgrade. When they reached the apartment, Eliot went into the kitchen to cook because he knew Alec and Parker wouldn’t follow. And even though Parker put on the newest Dr Who episode for him, she curled up on the other couch with her locks and lock picks and didn’t sit with him.
But then, after Eliot had been in the kitchen for a whole Dr Who episode, he came out of the kitchen. And even if he had a bandana in his hair and smelled like onions, Alec was happy when he sat down beside him. If Alec was tired from the long scary day and fell asleep on his brother’s lap, it wasn’t his fault. He was only seven.
When he woke up, he was still on Eliot’s lap and wrapped up in one of Father Nate’s old blankets. Parker was curled up around Eliot, with her eyes half closed and her head resting on Eliot’s shoulder. He could see Sophie and Nate on the other couch, with a blanket over them, too. The Twilight Zone was on the television and Alec was really happy, he was on his brother’s lap. Parker and Eliot would save him from anything the Twilight Zone could throw at him.
Alec didn't care what Mr Banana said. He had his Eliot and his Parker. Most of the time, when he wasn't sleeping and they weren't on a job, he had his Sophie and his Nate. And even if they didn't make sense, even if they weren't normal, even if he would sleep curled up in the safe, warm cocoon of the space between Eliot and Parker, they were the best family in the whole world.
Universe: St Nicholas Home for Troubled Youth
Rating: PG
Pairing: Nate/Sophie, Eliot/Parker
Warnings: Mention of child abuse
Summary: Three weeks after moving to Boston, Alec's principal wants a parent-teacher conference.
Alec really super loved school. He liked South Boston Elementary. Miss Nana was totally a better teacher than Sister Tara Colman and he’d told Eliot so. And he knew Eliot told Parker because Eliot told Parker everything, even secret things.
Alec loved his Eliot and his Father Nate. He’d never had a dad before, not that he could remember, even though he knew he had to have had a dad at some point. Eliot was super awesome. He gave him hugs and books and kept the bullies at St Nicholas’ away from him. Plus, he made sure Parker was around and Alec loved Parker. And Father Nate, he was what Alec figured a real dad was like, even if he drank so much that Eliot hid Alec in the bedroom sometimes.
“Eliot! Eliot! Eliot!” Alec yelled, diving into his foster-brother’s arms.
“What is it lil’ man?” Eliot asked, lifting Alec high, like he and his backpack didn’t weigh anything at all. “You get another A on your math test?”
Alec rolled his eyes. He knew that Eliot knew he only had math on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Besides, Parker only gave him the special books when he got A pluses. Two weeks after they left St Nicholas’ School for Troubled Boys, Parker told Eliot that plain A’s didn’t count. And Eliot almost never argued with Parker, even when she was totally wrong.
“Mister Banana wants to see Nate and Sophie.”
Eliot froze for a long minute and that always meant he held Alec tight against him. Alec sometimes did it on purpose, said things that put Eliot off his guard so he would hold him tight. He usually only hugged Parker tight, up close against him with skin on skin, and when he held Alec tight when he was scared, Alec knew it was because Eliot cared.
“You mean Sister Sophie and Father Nate?” Eliot growled, holding Alec close to his chest and carrying him out to where Parker was waiting.
“Yeah,” Alec told him, pressing his face against Eliot’s chest, breathing in the smell of safeEliothopefamilylove. “Mr. Banana said he’s worried about me.”
Alec breathed out when he felt Eliot’s other arm wrap around him. Eliot wasn’t a hugging sort of guy. Alec knew that. The other guys at St. Nick’s used to make fun of him, saying nasty things about Alec sleeping in Eliot’s bed. But Alec didn’t care. He’d watched Parker punch Colin and Victor for making fun of him and Eliot always, always let him burrow into his arms for safety. Alec knew that Eliot and Parker would forever and always be a safe place for him.
“Banano wants to see Father Nate and Sister Sophe,” Eliot told Parker, when they reached the car. He only shifted Alec to his other hip. Alec liked that Eliot would hold him longer than anyone else, even if he treated him like a baby.
“I can tell Sister Sophie,” Parker said, when Alec’s face was buried in Eliot’s neck. “I can go get her.”
“Yeah,” Eliot said. “Tell ‘em, I’m taking Alec to Friendly’s, okay? You know where to find me.”
Alec waved goodbye to Parker when she took off toward the T station near school. Eliot didn’t, but Eliot never waved goodbye to anyone. Parker did; she was the one who taught Alec how to do it right - with his fingers splayed wide and with a big arm motion. Sophie liked to mutter under her breath when they waved goodbye to her on their way to school, but Alec knew it was Sophie’s way of saying she loved them, too.
“How ‘bout an ice cream cone,” Eliot said, finally putting Alec down when they got close to Friendly’s.
“Can I get jimmies?” Alec asked him very seriously.
“Yeah, man, you can get jimmies.” Eliot ran his hand through Alec’s hair and guided him toward the counter. “Coffee ice cream and jimmies? You wanna cup, too?”
Alec shook his head. “Orange and jimmies. And a waffle cone.” He watched. “I’ll only tell Parker if you get the rainbow sprinkles.”
Eliot smiled at him, one of the real ones Eliot only gave their family. He carried both cones over to the table they always used and waited until Alec was settled before handing him his. Eliot got the same thing he always got when Nate and Sophie weren’t around: vanilla sugar cone and rainbow sprinkles. Alec didn’t understand why he got different kinds when their parents were around, but he figured it was just one of those Eliot things. It was like how Parker wouldn’t sleep in her own room at all.
Alec told Eliot about his day. He told him how Miss Nana gave him a gold star for art and how he beat Aimee at the spelling bee. And he told him how he had the best lunches in the whole school (because who else had an older brother who made sushi for school lunches?) and how he didn’t even have to use the duck-and-cover strategy Parker taught him because the school bullies stopped bothering him. And Eliot didn’t say anything because Eliot never did, but he didn’t stop Alec from climbing in his lap and only shoved him out after Alec tried to steal a bite of his ice cream cone.
So when Nate and Sophie and Parker showed up - after Eliot bought Parker her own double chocolate fudge ice cream - Alec didn’t mind holding Sophie’s hand on the way back to school. Sophie was awesome. She was really pretty and always smelled nice, even back when she was Sister Sophia and he would sneak out of classes to sit with her and Parker in the courtyard. And when he got to walk between her and Nate and hold both their hands while Eliot and Parker were right behind, it was almost as good as the nights they all curled up on the couch, ate popcorn, and watched the Twilight Zone.
Mr Banana was the school principal and Alec had already seen him a bunch of times. Mr Banana was very interested in Alec’s life and Alec got the impression he didn’t really like Alec’s family. Mr Banana liked to show up and watch when Eliot and Parker picked him up from school. And he really liked sending notes to Nate and Sophie about how Alec was doing in school. So, when they got to the office, Alec settled on Eliot and Parker’s knees, like he always did, and stared at Mr Banana.
“This is supposed to be just a parent-teacher meeting,” Mr Banana said, looking at Nate and then Sophie. “I understood that Alec’s brother and sister normally take care of him after school.”
“We… like to function as a family,” Sophie told him, giving Mr Banana her best “talking to Monsignor Sterling” smile. “And that means including everyone in important discussions.”
Mr Banana didn’t look like he liked that at all, but kept talking. Alec was figuring out that was what adults did when another adult told them they were wrong. “I’m concerned about your foster son.”
“Son, Mr Banano. Hardison is our son,” Nate said, using the voice he used when he was telling Duberman he was really his best friend from high school. “The adoption paper have been finalized and we made your school well aware of that fact.”
Mr Banana frowned even harder at that. “Your son has been telling some pretty outrageous stories at school. It has some of the teachers and other parents concerned.”
Eliot shifted under Alec. “What kinda outrageous?”
“There was the story about his family stealing a plane and defusing a bomb on the way to the Cayman Islands. And the story about a drug cartel in Juarez and his sister and a pinata bomb. Or the part where his brother is some cross between James Bond and a hired gun. Or the time his older sister showed him how to pickpocket and Alec decided to demonstrate his new skill to the class.” Mr Banana folded his hands together. “However, I will admit that his teacher is most concerned about stories about his home life. He insists that you used to be a nun and a priest. And he has some particularly concerning stories about his siblings. We are more than a little worried about his safety.”
Alec was pulled into an awkward hug by both Parker and Eliot. “You say the word, Father, and I’ll rip out his lungs.”
Nate just made a shushing noise at Eliot. “I’m sure we can clear up this misunderstanding. Hardison has quite the active imagination.”
“I mean, really,” Sophie interrupted. “Going to Juarez with two teenagers and a seven year old? Think of the chaos!”
“Chaos? Right.” Mr Banana paused again. “I took the liberty of calling the local high school and it does appear that some of Alec’s stories about his brother and sister are true. I admit I’m shocked I’m the first person to tell you about them.”
“That they’re dating?” Nate asked. “Because that was true a long time before we managed to adopt any of them.”
Mr Banana blinked at that. He looked funny, like a guy right after Eliot punched him in the solar plexus. “But you admit that your son and daughter are… dating, as you put it. And I’ve personally heard that your son, at least on occasion, shares a single bed with both of them.” He fixed a sort of glare at Eliot, like it wasn’t Parker’s idea that they’d all be happier and safer in Eliot’s bed. “I’ve also seen the bruises Alec comes to school with.”
Parker raised her hand like they were in class. “Oh! That was me! I thought Hardison should know how to jump out a window. You know, in case something bad happened.”
“Jump out a window?”
“I made him a harness,” Parker said and Alec knew she was rolling her eyes. “Besides, it’s an important life skill.”
“And your oldest son?” Mr Banana said, still only looking at Nate and Sophie. “Is there-”
“I don’t gotta explain myself to you!” Eliot exploded, making sure Alec was firmly on Parker’s lap before he stood up. “You ain’t doing anything but trying to make us look bad.”
“Eliot, sit down,” Sophie said gently. “This won’t come to anything and you know it.”
Eliot glared at Mr Banana. “I know exactly what he’s saying. Even if the rest of you are pretending it’s something else, I know what he’s saying about me. He’s - “ Eliot cut himself off, but stared at Mr Banana like he was one of the bad guys and his hands shook the way they did after a nightmare.
“Parker,” Sophie said, her voice a lot gentler, like it was at home. “Why don’t you take Eliot and Alec back to the apartment? I’m sure you can find a better way to spend the evening. Nathan and I are going to be here for a while.”
Alec followed Parker out of the office and down the long school hallways. Eliot was the rearguard, like always, making sure no one bad could follow them and hurt them anymore. It scared Alec when his brother got upset, because Eliot was the strongest person Alec knew. If someone could scare Eliot, they must be awful and scary.
The car ride back to the apartment was silent and scary, too. Parker had the silent tears she always had when something bad happened, like in Belgrade. When they reached the apartment, Eliot went into the kitchen to cook because he knew Alec and Parker wouldn’t follow. And even though Parker put on the newest Dr Who episode for him, she curled up on the other couch with her locks and lock picks and didn’t sit with him.
But then, after Eliot had been in the kitchen for a whole Dr Who episode, he came out of the kitchen. And even if he had a bandana in his hair and smelled like onions, Alec was happy when he sat down beside him. If Alec was tired from the long scary day and fell asleep on his brother’s lap, it wasn’t his fault. He was only seven.
When he woke up, he was still on Eliot’s lap and wrapped up in one of Father Nate’s old blankets. Parker was curled up around Eliot, with her eyes half closed and her head resting on Eliot’s shoulder. He could see Sophie and Nate on the other couch, with a blanket over them, too. The Twilight Zone was on the television and Alec was really happy, he was on his brother’s lap. Parker and Eliot would save him from anything the Twilight Zone could throw at him.
Alec didn't care what Mr Banana said. He had his Eliot and his Parker. Most of the time, when he wasn't sleeping and they weren't on a job, he had his Sophie and his Nate. And even if they didn't make sense, even if they weren't normal, even if he would sleep curled up in the safe, warm cocoon of the space between Eliot and Parker, they were the best family in the whole world.