"It was a mistake." "Really? Lily didn't seem to think so."
I hate not being able to answer seemingly simple questions. What qualities do you think a friend has to have? Why do you want to hang out with this person? What did you actually expect to happen?
Fucked up day today. Ended up hanging out with Matt, Jessica, and Erin all at the same time which could have proved to be a really poisonous situation except that we're all pussies and strive to keep the status quo. Can we all actually be friends? Real friends? I'm at the point where, excluding Jenny of course, I don't even know who I'm friends with anymore. I'm also really bad at staying broken up in friendships. I'm like the Marty of friendships. I don't see how Ali and I can be friends when she believes that I viciously tried to steal her biggest crush ever. And in all fairness I was half guitly in that. Nathan was half guilty though too but he's a boy so of course he doesn't get ostracized, only me. I don't see how Erin can be friends with me when she thinks that I'm sleeping with Matt. I told her today that I didn't want to hang out with her because she accuses me of that, and she was like "Well I didn't say that today!" Oh yeah, today! I mean honestly, am I the only person who finds the idea of me and Matt ever together comical? Today when Jessica and I were over Matt's, Erin had to talk to me on the phone and she was like "Why can't we all hang out and be friends?" and I was like "Because we all talk about each other behind everyone's back and we have all these secrets and lies that no one can keep secret" and she was like "I don't talk about anyone behind their back." And I think that comment basically sums up that friend groups' fucked up relationship.
Then I have this whole cold war conflict with Mike. It's cold war in the sense that we're silent about it until something crazy happens and then we're just avoidant. I'd like to fix things but I don't think he wants me to. We'll probably just end up burying this like everything else that's even remotely come between us. And I just think that's really...depressing.
On the flip side, I have no issues with Jenny now! She's in new york. Damn her. Okay so there's the jealousy issue that she gets to do something during spring break while I hang out. But it's fine. She's coming back tomorrow and we're going Japanese and then seeing Jersey Girl.
I've only had like 7 total hours of sleep for the past few days and have nothing to show for it. Except for the fact that I'm fucking exhausted but am I going to bed? Of course not, I refuse to be logical during spring break!
Finally, Jessica let me borrow all her Jay-Z cds so that's what I'm doing tonight into tomorrow. :-) Justify my thug.
Fucked up day today. Ended up hanging out with Matt, Jessica, and Erin all at the same time which could have proved to be a really poisonous situation except that we're all pussies and strive to keep the status quo. Can we all actually be friends? Real friends? I'm at the point where, excluding Jenny of course, I don't even know who I'm friends with anymore. I'm also really bad at staying broken up in friendships. I'm like the Marty of friendships. I don't see how Ali and I can be friends when she believes that I viciously tried to steal her biggest crush ever. And in all fairness I was half guitly in that. Nathan was half guilty though too but he's a boy so of course he doesn't get ostracized, only me. I don't see how Erin can be friends with me when she thinks that I'm sleeping with Matt. I told her today that I didn't want to hang out with her because she accuses me of that, and she was like "Well I didn't say that today!" Oh yeah, today! I mean honestly, am I the only person who finds the idea of me and Matt ever together comical? Today when Jessica and I were over Matt's, Erin had to talk to me on the phone and she was like "Why can't we all hang out and be friends?" and I was like "Because we all talk about each other behind everyone's back and we have all these secrets and lies that no one can keep secret" and she was like "I don't talk about anyone behind their back." And I think that comment basically sums up that friend groups' fucked up relationship.
Then I have this whole cold war conflict with Mike. It's cold war in the sense that we're silent about it until something crazy happens and then we're just avoidant. I'd like to fix things but I don't think he wants me to. We'll probably just end up burying this like everything else that's even remotely come between us. And I just think that's really...depressing.
On the flip side, I have no issues with Jenny now! She's in new york. Damn her. Okay so there's the jealousy issue that she gets to do something during spring break while I hang out. But it's fine. She's coming back tomorrow and we're going Japanese and then seeing Jersey Girl.
I've only had like 7 total hours of sleep for the past few days and have nothing to show for it. Except for the fact that I'm fucking exhausted but am I going to bed? Of course not, I refuse to be logical during spring break!
Finally, Jessica let me borrow all her Jay-Z cds so that's what I'm doing tonight into tomorrow. :-) Justify my thug.