This is how we do...
A lot has happened lately...let me tell you. Ryan bought me a teddy bear... It makes me smile...especially the REASON behind it. I was stupid for once, and he got upset with me and felt bad, so he bought me a teddy bear. *smile* I named it Ryan Junior. I'm so lame. It's so cute and it's brown and soft and fluffy! I love it to pieces. I love him to pieces. He's so understanding( And no, i did NOT cheat on him for you jerks).
I got the results to my pap smear back...not good. It came back abnormal. Basically meaning that I have to go back in for another test. I could have cervical cancer or HPV. If I have HPV I know exactly who it is from. I told Ryan about it, and he wasn't even upset at me or anything. He just held me and let me cry in his arms. He was very supportive. I ended up working the night I found out, I was really upset, crying and everything. They wouldn't let me go home, I was so pissy. That was Thursday now that I think back. After work I ended up going home and spent time with Ryan. At work we were getting upset with eachother because I was really emotional and he likes to push my buttons sometimes. But the time we spent alone was nice, he told me that he loves me and he'll be there for me. I started to think about the possibilites of cancer...and did you know that I could possibly not have kids? That literally BREAKS my heart. Having kids is one thing I dream of everyday. If I had to have a kid now to be able to ever have on, I would. Sadly, I would.
So...Christmas is coming up. I bought Ryan so much stuff. It's bad. I bought him a zippo and had Binky engraved in it, a new fun tongue ring, body frosting, silly string, black work pants, wife beater shirts, and then i got a picture frame and put my senior picture in it...then i'm hoping to find a blue boston fitted hat at the mall on Friday,and then I wanna get a teddy bear to put it on... I don't even care if he doesn't buy me anything. I was supposed to get my ring by Christmas but it won't happen and I'm okay with that. All I want for christmas is him... My parents got the tree up, and the living room is covered in lights and there is a 4 foot frosty and santa in my living room...creepy.
New years eve...party. Who is coming? It shall be GREAT fun...my boys are all sleeping over, not sure WHERE yet, but they are. I'm very excited for it. I'm even gonna clean my room! Woot Woot
Well I gotta go sleep for an hour and then go pick up Ryan at work..yippie! I get to see him, that's all I care about. I love that boy.