Updating an update..Surgery and my Angels
I had surgery yesterday...just wanted to let you all know that it went fine. They had to cut open the back of my ear which wasn't expected, but it's okay. I'm in quite a bit of pain but i'm managing. I haven't had this kind of procedure done in awhile.
Ryan slept over Monday night when he got out of work at 1 Am and layed with me until I fell asleep around 2:30 and then he never even got to bed until around 4...Theeeen at 7 AM yesterday I had to be at the hosptial so Ra got up around 6ish and I got up around 5ish, ready to go. The whole time at the hospital before I went in, he held my hand and helped calm me down because he just could tell I was really scared and that I didn't want to go. When they took me away, I just wanted to drag him with me. Afterwards I was so happy to see him, although I was no happy when I looked in the mirror. My whole entire head was wrapped up, I looked horrid. None the less, Ryan told me I was so beautiful and that he was happy that I was okay. That made me smile. He helped me eat my crackers and drink my juice so we could get out of there... Helped me as in fed me and held my juice for when I wanted it.
Finally around 11:30, they let me go. I went in for surgery around 8:15 and wasn't out until 10:40...and they let me leave around 11:30. We went to Burger King! I was really hungry, and i tried to eat, but it is really hard to chew solid food with a big cut and stitches in the back of your ear. All day yesterday Ryan tried to help me by feeding me and helping me hold my juice while I drank it. All I could do was smile. If I had to go to the bathroom he'd jump right up and help me walk to the bathroom and stand right otuside the door until I was done and needed help. Every 4 hours he would remind me to take my pill and he'd actually get it for me. We tried to sleep but the most I could sleep was anywhere from a half hour to an hour after I took my pill, and then I just doze off. Ryan made it a lot easier for me to sleep when he caressed my face and rubbed my back and told me I was beautiful. I spent the night in his arms last night and I loved every minute of it. Although I woke him up constantly all through-out the night, he helped me sleep, a lot more then I probably would have slept if he wasn't there. I needed his warmth and his security with me and I had that.
Ryan asked me a really serious question last night, and in a month it'll become more then just a question. Some of my friends know what it is, and some can just assume. The way that Ryan helped me out yesterday made me realize that he is really willing to make this relationship work and help me through every obstacle of my life. I can trust him with my life in his hands.
Today I went to get my bandages off at 9 AM. Of course, Ryan was right there with me. It was so cute because when they took my bandages off I think he got a little sick, maybe knowing that I was in pain and he couldn't take it away for me, but who knows. All I know is that I love that boy so much that it hurts. All day today we spent in bed together, just lying there. I feel s close to him even though all we did was rest. The second that he had to leave, I got upset because I didn't want to let him go. But unfortunatly we all have responsibilities and work is one of his. So at 4:30, Becky brought him to work for me and I also went just so I could spend those last few minutes with him. I'll probably see him tonight for a little while, and I know that he's probably gonna come see me in the morning before he has to go to Boston for Thanksgiving. I gave him my cell phone for the night because I wanted a way to be able to call him if I needed him, and I wanted him to be able to call my on his break for his whole break.
Last night I started thinking something really important and I realized that I have two angels that were with me yesterday. My Grandma was there for me, watching over me and making sure I was okay and Ryan was in the waiting room praying that i'd be okay. I was explaining that to Ryan last night and Becky was right there and I didn't realize it and she started crying. Becky is my angel too, I really love her. She's an awesome friend. She bought me presents and they made me cry! I keep crying a lot because i'm so glad to have the friends and relationships that I have.
Today my mommy told me when I told her that I really like Ryan a lot, shet old me to remember that because she can tell that he honestly loves me and that he's doing all he can to make me happy. She really likes him! I remember being scared that she'd hate him, but whenever he calls me or anything, she smiles and says is that my hunny? And it makes me so happy. Thomas likes him too! They get along so well... My daddy, well, he never really says anything about my boyfriends but you can always tell with him, But when I asked him if he liked Ryan, he said yes! It makes me very very happy.
Ryan Ryan Ryan...Pookie Bear... I love you so much that words can't describe it. I think about you all the time, I dream about you all the time. You are my main source of happiness. I want to spend my life with you, I want to, and I know that I can. I really love you with all my heart and I promise to be true to you. I love you angelface, I really do.
With all my heart,
Snuggle Bunny/Ashley
Ryan slept over Monday night when he got out of work at 1 Am and layed with me until I fell asleep around 2:30 and then he never even got to bed until around 4...Theeeen at 7 AM yesterday I had to be at the hosptial so Ra got up around 6ish and I got up around 5ish, ready to go. The whole time at the hospital before I went in, he held my hand and helped calm me down because he just could tell I was really scared and that I didn't want to go. When they took me away, I just wanted to drag him with me. Afterwards I was so happy to see him, although I was no happy when I looked in the mirror. My whole entire head was wrapped up, I looked horrid. None the less, Ryan told me I was so beautiful and that he was happy that I was okay. That made me smile. He helped me eat my crackers and drink my juice so we could get out of there... Helped me as in fed me and held my juice for when I wanted it.
Finally around 11:30, they let me go. I went in for surgery around 8:15 and wasn't out until 10:40...and they let me leave around 11:30. We went to Burger King! I was really hungry, and i tried to eat, but it is really hard to chew solid food with a big cut and stitches in the back of your ear. All day yesterday Ryan tried to help me by feeding me and helping me hold my juice while I drank it. All I could do was smile. If I had to go to the bathroom he'd jump right up and help me walk to the bathroom and stand right otuside the door until I was done and needed help. Every 4 hours he would remind me to take my pill and he'd actually get it for me. We tried to sleep but the most I could sleep was anywhere from a half hour to an hour after I took my pill, and then I just doze off. Ryan made it a lot easier for me to sleep when he caressed my face and rubbed my back and told me I was beautiful. I spent the night in his arms last night and I loved every minute of it. Although I woke him up constantly all through-out the night, he helped me sleep, a lot more then I probably would have slept if he wasn't there. I needed his warmth and his security with me and I had that.
Ryan asked me a really serious question last night, and in a month it'll become more then just a question. Some of my friends know what it is, and some can just assume. The way that Ryan helped me out yesterday made me realize that he is really willing to make this relationship work and help me through every obstacle of my life. I can trust him with my life in his hands.
Today I went to get my bandages off at 9 AM. Of course, Ryan was right there with me. It was so cute because when they took my bandages off I think he got a little sick, maybe knowing that I was in pain and he couldn't take it away for me, but who knows. All I know is that I love that boy so much that it hurts. All day today we spent in bed together, just lying there. I feel s close to him even though all we did was rest. The second that he had to leave, I got upset because I didn't want to let him go. But unfortunatly we all have responsibilities and work is one of his. So at 4:30, Becky brought him to work for me and I also went just so I could spend those last few minutes with him. I'll probably see him tonight for a little while, and I know that he's probably gonna come see me in the morning before he has to go to Boston for Thanksgiving. I gave him my cell phone for the night because I wanted a way to be able to call him if I needed him, and I wanted him to be able to call my on his break for his whole break.
Last night I started thinking something really important and I realized that I have two angels that were with me yesterday. My Grandma was there for me, watching over me and making sure I was okay and Ryan was in the waiting room praying that i'd be okay. I was explaining that to Ryan last night and Becky was right there and I didn't realize it and she started crying. Becky is my angel too, I really love her. She's an awesome friend. She bought me presents and they made me cry! I keep crying a lot because i'm so glad to have the friends and relationships that I have.
Today my mommy told me when I told her that I really like Ryan a lot, shet old me to remember that because she can tell that he honestly loves me and that he's doing all he can to make me happy. She really likes him! I remember being scared that she'd hate him, but whenever he calls me or anything, she smiles and says is that my hunny? And it makes me so happy. Thomas likes him too! They get along so well... My daddy, well, he never really says anything about my boyfriends but you can always tell with him, But when I asked him if he liked Ryan, he said yes! It makes me very very happy.
Ryan Ryan Ryan...Pookie Bear... I love you so much that words can't describe it. I think about you all the time, I dream about you all the time. You are my main source of happiness. I want to spend my life with you, I want to, and I know that I can. I really love you with all my heart and I promise to be true to you. I love you angelface, I really do.
With all my heart,
Snuggle Bunny/Ashley