Novella
This time last year I was in Niagara Falls glowing with uncontrollable happiness, and it's possible that I only know how happy I was then because of the path my life has taken from that moment to now.
I am still so young and stupid, and on the other hand, I feel like I've been through so much and perhaps I should have learned more than I have from all the faltering.
Over the course of the year I have been in three relationships. I think that says too much about me all on it's own. I haven't figured out what I want... not at all.
I've had two miscarriages. They are very painful, and while I certainly wasn't ready for kids in any sort of way, it might be a bad omen in the way of childbearing, which I was hoping to do... someday. Perhaps my body knew I wasn't ready, and maybe it never will be.
I had a benign tumor in my stomach (big yay for no cancer!), I got it taken out, I drove myself home from the hospital. Sometimes I want to be stronger than I am and I don't ask for help, young and stupid I certainly am.
I got arrested. If you know me very well, you know why :)
I spend the vast majority of my time now caring for my grandmother who is in a late stage of Alzheimer's. I'm usually with her 15 hours a day, and it's difficult. It's only been about a month, but the time passes slower that I thought it ever could.
On a sillier note, I have take up playing WoW to pass some of the hours in my grandparents house. It's fun, and a little addictive, but once I can be out in the world a little more I think I'll be giving it up.
There doesn't seem to be a strong drive within me to be successful, but I would like to get back to school soon and do something with my life that holds some meaning, and since I'm young and stupid and perhaps naive, I still think I might fall into a love story with a happy ending. :)
Andy and Ashley have the biggest hearts in the world, they have let me stay with them for a long time now and I can't really express how thankful I am and how anxious I am to have something to give back to them. I don't deserve all the kindness they have shown me. I haven't been able to be the friend I would like to be to them, and a lot of people... and while the run of unfortunate events and depressed state isn't a good excuse for it, I'm still sorry, and hope that forgiveness isn't too hard to find in the next year.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :)
I am still so young and stupid, and on the other hand, I feel like I've been through so much and perhaps I should have learned more than I have from all the faltering.
Over the course of the year I have been in three relationships. I think that says too much about me all on it's own. I haven't figured out what I want... not at all.
I've had two miscarriages. They are very painful, and while I certainly wasn't ready for kids in any sort of way, it might be a bad omen in the way of childbearing, which I was hoping to do... someday. Perhaps my body knew I wasn't ready, and maybe it never will be.
I had a benign tumor in my stomach (big yay for no cancer!), I got it taken out, I drove myself home from the hospital. Sometimes I want to be stronger than I am and I don't ask for help, young and stupid I certainly am.
I got arrested. If you know me very well, you know why :)
I spend the vast majority of my time now caring for my grandmother who is in a late stage of Alzheimer's. I'm usually with her 15 hours a day, and it's difficult. It's only been about a month, but the time passes slower that I thought it ever could.
On a sillier note, I have take up playing WoW to pass some of the hours in my grandparents house. It's fun, and a little addictive, but once I can be out in the world a little more I think I'll be giving it up.
There doesn't seem to be a strong drive within me to be successful, but I would like to get back to school soon and do something with my life that holds some meaning, and since I'm young and stupid and perhaps naive, I still think I might fall into a love story with a happy ending. :)
Andy and Ashley have the biggest hearts in the world, they have let me stay with them for a long time now and I can't really express how thankful I am and how anxious I am to have something to give back to them. I don't deserve all the kindness they have shown me. I haven't been able to be the friend I would like to be to them, and a lot of people... and while the run of unfortunate events and depressed state isn't a good excuse for it, I'm still sorry, and hope that forgiveness isn't too hard to find in the next year.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :)