Where I am now
It has been a while, has it not?
I dont really have much to talk about here anymore. I am thinking of updating more regularly now, because I could do with a journal of sorts. A lot has gone on, most of which I regretably am not able to tell you about. Though circumstances have changed, if you give someone your word you should keep it right? No matter what the circumstances are surrounding it. As such I am not able to say much about a once large part of my life which is absent now.
Apart from that I have realised a lot about myself. As some of my friends who see me every day may have noticed, I am happier in my own right now. It is a good thing, because before I was happy only due to someone else, as a friend woudl say my happiness was contrived not natural. And that is wrong. If you are going to be happy you may as well be happy because of you not of someone else.
Now it is almost like I am living again. I mean for a long time I stopped. I lived by someone's rules and as much as I cared about it I am only going to be this age once right? It isn't fair on myself to look to when I am older and forget where I am now. And I enjoy being what I am now. I can be bubbly and at times I can be subdued but I am doing it on my own steam. I am finally living what I was meant to be living.
You know what it feels like?
To draw an analagy it feels like for the past while I strayed from my path...like I was walking down it, and then I veered off into a random road for a while, one that has been winding and stuff like that, but now I have finally found the path again and Im starting to walk along it again. It is a nice feeling.
I am 17 now and I am where I am meant to be. I realised that you dont need to look across vast distances for happiness and things like that, it is nice to do so, but if you want happiness and friends and people you can trust, look at the people you keep around you and take a step back for a moment and just look at what you have right in front of your doorstep instead of that is over the hill and far away.
Anyway...that is the basics...see more for later...
I dont really have much to talk about here anymore. I am thinking of updating more regularly now, because I could do with a journal of sorts. A lot has gone on, most of which I regretably am not able to tell you about. Though circumstances have changed, if you give someone your word you should keep it right? No matter what the circumstances are surrounding it. As such I am not able to say much about a once large part of my life which is absent now.
Apart from that I have realised a lot about myself. As some of my friends who see me every day may have noticed, I am happier in my own right now. It is a good thing, because before I was happy only due to someone else, as a friend woudl say my happiness was contrived not natural. And that is wrong. If you are going to be happy you may as well be happy because of you not of someone else.
Now it is almost like I am living again. I mean for a long time I stopped. I lived by someone's rules and as much as I cared about it I am only going to be this age once right? It isn't fair on myself to look to when I am older and forget where I am now. And I enjoy being what I am now. I can be bubbly and at times I can be subdued but I am doing it on my own steam. I am finally living what I was meant to be living.
You know what it feels like?
To draw an analagy it feels like for the past while I strayed from my path...like I was walking down it, and then I veered off into a random road for a while, one that has been winding and stuff like that, but now I have finally found the path again and Im starting to walk along it again. It is a nice feeling.
I am 17 now and I am where I am meant to be. I realised that you dont need to look across vast distances for happiness and things like that, it is nice to do so, but if you want happiness and friends and people you can trust, look at the people you keep around you and take a step back for a moment and just look at what you have right in front of your doorstep instead of that is over the hill and far away.
Anyway...that is the basics...see more for later...