it might look tl:dr but some of you are specifically asked for things so...
To start with: I pull off a damn-good Bridal shower and screw anyone who doesn't think I make a wonderful maid of honor.
Down to real business:
Call me a masochist or a narcissist or whatever you want to call me. Tell me it's my fault, that I do this to myself and that's why it's happening again. Tell me it's a horrible coincidence. Tell me whatever you want - I've heard it before and it'll all hurt just as much this time around.
Something in the universe must be laughing, because it's ALWAYS when I happen to also be the sickest I've been in a long while. Like in 11th grade, when the Tim debacle went down JUST at the time that the noticability of my heart condition spiked. And then the beginning of sophomore year at PSU when the Brianna debacale was going down and it was JUST at the time that I got hepititis in my liver and stuff. And NOW, NOW is when my heart decides it isn't going to respond to any of the medicines and the rest of my body throws in a suicidal depression from out of nowhere. NOW!!!
Coincidence? I rather think not!!!
I have something I wrote about dark power one of the other times and I feel the same way now.
That being said, in not completely unrelated news: I have convinced someone to help me teach the kids to Waltz/try and make me feel safe at Yule Ball. He would NOT have been my first choice, but after Chris, Alex should do nicely. He's already in the area, he likes silly things and doesn't have issues against geeks, and he's willing to put himself out and make a fool of himself for funness sake. I don't honestly know if he's so great in the 'making me feel safe' department since I haven't been hanging out with him in 3 years and it's going to be so spectacularly awkward, but whatever. Yes, that would be the kind of awkwardness that afterward would need some serious girl time alone while everyone else plays Rock Band in celebration of pulling Yule Ball off. Sam, please don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like that's going to have to fall onto you :/
It's kind of cute because Alex said he already has his mask and it is "awesomeness^2"
So see, no worries about him fitting in or anything - just about me making good conversation, keeping him entertained while I do all my other duties, not being a total weirdo or acting like a nut job which I often do when nervous. Yeah, it'd probs be good if I'd spent some time with the kid basically at all in the last 3 years, but whatever. He'll help me teach the kids to waltz and be a nice unscarry, unflash-backy male presence to hopefully keep me grounded and functioning.
Meredith, if I start rambling consistently in German you should know that's the moment to take me out of there. Alex speaks German and he'll understand every word (his dad's French, and we had German classes in High School together once). So yeah, that's the point where I've hit the deep end and need to be uprooted and removed from the scene-making area. Dave, perhaps you would do be a gigantic favor of making friendly overtures at Alex? I don't want the poor guy to feel awkward when he's already doing this really nice thing for me. Also, given that given, I am just purchasing his ticket for him and when he asks about it telling him that I took care of it. I don't want the guy to pay $40 to do something nice for me for an evening.
Of course, this could all be a moot point because I see Dr.'s M and R tomorrow morning while they conference call with Dr. J and if they can't figure out what they are going to do to A) keep my heart from imploding and B) keep me from crawling out of my skin, eating it, lighting myself on fire, and jumping out a window then I won't be there at all and it won't matter.
::sigh::
I'd like to give God the benefit of the doubt that it's the Powers of Darkness who delight in the hilariousness that whenever I am at my most sick things are 75% more likely to be suck-tastic in my personal life, but I also can't be too sure that He isn't testing me/preparing me for something either.
If A) It's not funny any more and go find some other way to get your rocks off
If B) Couldn't you prepare just a little bit kindly-er, pleasse
Down to real business:
Call me a masochist or a narcissist or whatever you want to call me. Tell me it's my fault, that I do this to myself and that's why it's happening again. Tell me it's a horrible coincidence. Tell me whatever you want - I've heard it before and it'll all hurt just as much this time around.
Something in the universe must be laughing, because it's ALWAYS when I happen to also be the sickest I've been in a long while. Like in 11th grade, when the Tim debacle went down JUST at the time that the noticability of my heart condition spiked. And then the beginning of sophomore year at PSU when the Brianna debacale was going down and it was JUST at the time that I got hepititis in my liver and stuff. And NOW, NOW is when my heart decides it isn't going to respond to any of the medicines and the rest of my body throws in a suicidal depression from out of nowhere. NOW!!!
Coincidence? I rather think not!!!
I have something I wrote about dark power one of the other times and I feel the same way now.
That being said, in not completely unrelated news: I have convinced someone to help me teach the kids to Waltz/try and make me feel safe at Yule Ball. He would NOT have been my first choice, but after Chris, Alex should do nicely. He's already in the area, he likes silly things and doesn't have issues against geeks, and he's willing to put himself out and make a fool of himself for funness sake. I don't honestly know if he's so great in the 'making me feel safe' department since I haven't been hanging out with him in 3 years and it's going to be so spectacularly awkward, but whatever. Yes, that would be the kind of awkwardness that afterward would need some serious girl time alone while everyone else plays Rock Band in celebration of pulling Yule Ball off. Sam, please don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like that's going to have to fall onto you :/
It's kind of cute because Alex said he already has his mask and it is "awesomeness^2"
So see, no worries about him fitting in or anything - just about me making good conversation, keeping him entertained while I do all my other duties, not being a total weirdo or acting like a nut job which I often do when nervous. Yeah, it'd probs be good if I'd spent some time with the kid basically at all in the last 3 years, but whatever. He'll help me teach the kids to waltz and be a nice unscarry, unflash-backy male presence to hopefully keep me grounded and functioning.
Meredith, if I start rambling consistently in German you should know that's the moment to take me out of there. Alex speaks German and he'll understand every word (his dad's French, and we had German classes in High School together once). So yeah, that's the point where I've hit the deep end and need to be uprooted and removed from the scene-making area. Dave, perhaps you would do be a gigantic favor of making friendly overtures at Alex? I don't want the poor guy to feel awkward when he's already doing this really nice thing for me. Also, given that given, I am just purchasing his ticket for him and when he asks about it telling him that I took care of it. I don't want the guy to pay $40 to do something nice for me for an evening.
Of course, this could all be a moot point because I see Dr.'s M and R tomorrow morning while they conference call with Dr. J and if they can't figure out what they are going to do to A) keep my heart from imploding and B) keep me from crawling out of my skin, eating it, lighting myself on fire, and jumping out a window then I won't be there at all and it won't matter.
::sigh::
I'd like to give God the benefit of the doubt that it's the Powers of Darkness who delight in the hilariousness that whenever I am at my most sick things are 75% more likely to be suck-tastic in my personal life, but I also can't be too sure that He isn't testing me/preparing me for something either.
If A) It's not funny any more and go find some other way to get your rocks off
If B) Couldn't you prepare just a little bit kindly-er, pleasse