let me lead you to the sanguine river, which my heart has yet to fill
i just got dumped. shit. it freaking happens.
but the nite before one of your best friends gets married???? ugggghh!!!
friday nite. what a great nite. **rolls eyes** oh shit the irony. going to a wedding, no wait, being a bridesmaid in a wedding with a torn heart, watching two sappy in love humans profess their undying love for each other. i almost couldnt handle it when i was doing her makeup in the morning.
ya see, i only got 2 hrs sleep, woke up w/permabloodshot eyes, couldnt do shit with my hair, and when i was finally done making a rattier rats nest, i didnt have time to do my makeup. drove to her house in silence, while my folks were listening to spanish love songs, tear drops silently running down my face. when i walked into her house, i opened her room and saw her wedding dress. i was this close, l_____l to losing it. did her makeup, helped her with the dress, telling her how beautiful she looks, acknowleding the elation growing in her eyes, getting even closer to losing it. we drove to the ceremony with slightly moistened eyes. when i saw her walking down the aisle- i bit my tongue to prevent me from looking like a blubbering idiot. when her parents were giving her away, her mom didnt want to let go - i lost it. all the bridesmaids lost it.
but then, i forgot my sorrow and focused all the energy i could muster up to transfer everything inside me into happiness for her. i was successful. for the rest of the ceremony, if i was crying, they were tears of joy and greatfulness, which beautifully spilled onto the rest of the afternoon and stained into the night. saturday nite came and went.
sunday.
came and went.
monday.
went to sacramento for a political rally in front of the capitol. came home. slept.
tuesday...
is here and stingingly present, reminding me that if not today, when? emotions are eventual. saturday was just a coverup and when is this going to finally sink in. more than half the day is gone and i have been in the same somber mood, well maybe more, as usual.
oh well. fuck it. whats a silverina to do?
just so busy, really busy, busy scissors ohhh, hairdresser on fire.....
hmmm, at least i got my cure tickets back! i will not miss robert for anything. its what is keeping me going....oh now its affirmative that i will be pouring out my sorrows at this show. but thats okay cause im sure thats what everyone else will be doing as well.
please, please, please, let me, let met, let me, get what i want this time
but the nite before one of your best friends gets married???? ugggghh!!!
friday nite. what a great nite. **rolls eyes** oh shit the irony. going to a wedding, no wait, being a bridesmaid in a wedding with a torn heart, watching two sappy in love humans profess their undying love for each other. i almost couldnt handle it when i was doing her makeup in the morning.
ya see, i only got 2 hrs sleep, woke up w/permabloodshot eyes, couldnt do shit with my hair, and when i was finally done making a rattier rats nest, i didnt have time to do my makeup. drove to her house in silence, while my folks were listening to spanish love songs, tear drops silently running down my face. when i walked into her house, i opened her room and saw her wedding dress. i was this close, l_____l to losing it. did her makeup, helped her with the dress, telling her how beautiful she looks, acknowleding the elation growing in her eyes, getting even closer to losing it. we drove to the ceremony with slightly moistened eyes. when i saw her walking down the aisle- i bit my tongue to prevent me from looking like a blubbering idiot. when her parents were giving her away, her mom didnt want to let go - i lost it. all the bridesmaids lost it.
but then, i forgot my sorrow and focused all the energy i could muster up to transfer everything inside me into happiness for her. i was successful. for the rest of the ceremony, if i was crying, they were tears of joy and greatfulness, which beautifully spilled onto the rest of the afternoon and stained into the night. saturday nite came and went.
sunday.
came and went.
monday.
went to sacramento for a political rally in front of the capitol. came home. slept.
tuesday...
is here and stingingly present, reminding me that if not today, when? emotions are eventual. saturday was just a coverup and when is this going to finally sink in. more than half the day is gone and i have been in the same somber mood, well maybe more, as usual.
oh well. fuck it. whats a silverina to do?
just so busy, really busy, busy scissors ohhh, hairdresser on fire.....
hmmm, at least i got my cure tickets back! i will not miss robert for anything. its what is keeping me going....oh now its affirmative that i will be pouring out my sorrows at this show. but thats okay cause im sure thats what everyone else will be doing as well.
please, please, please, let me, let met, let me, get what i want this time