Thursday - Resolutions
Anybody who knows me knows I'm a fan of lists and rules. I abide by them. They're important to have. Direction is important to have. But I've come to realize that you can't control every aspect of your entire existence, hard as you try to map it out. Life isn't neat. It's messy, and many times it's unpredictable.
Last year was a very difficult time for me. I lived through the hardest experiences I'd yet to face. It was not, in any way, how I expected my life to go. It didn't matter how many lists and plans I'd made in 2007. Life has a way of derailing each and every one of them, for all of our intentions.
This year I tried something different. I consciously chose not to have any resolutions. I chose to try and take life as it comes. The key word here is try. It's a bit hard to do, for someone as controlling as myself. I don't do well with uncertainties, but I don't believe anyone does.
If I did have any resolution, it was and still is: to do my best. And I feel I've done well on that so far.
My life isn't perfect, and it's had and continues to have many ups and downs. But I'm still here, and I'm still going and sometimes, I don't know how I've managed but I have. I'll admit it was in part made possible with the help of those around me. For those dear friends, I will be endlessly grateful.
It's the first time in what feels like a really long time I can say I'm okay and mean it wholeheartedly.
I'm actually more than okay. And it's good to feel that way again.
Last year was a very difficult time for me. I lived through the hardest experiences I'd yet to face. It was not, in any way, how I expected my life to go. It didn't matter how many lists and plans I'd made in 2007. Life has a way of derailing each and every one of them, for all of our intentions.
This year I tried something different. I consciously chose not to have any resolutions. I chose to try and take life as it comes. The key word here is try. It's a bit hard to do, for someone as controlling as myself. I don't do well with uncertainties, but I don't believe anyone does.
If I did have any resolution, it was and still is: to do my best. And I feel I've done well on that so far.
My life isn't perfect, and it's had and continues to have many ups and downs. But I'm still here, and I'm still going and sometimes, I don't know how I've managed but I have. I'll admit it was in part made possible with the help of those around me. For those dear friends, I will be endlessly grateful.
It's the first time in what feels like a really long time I can say I'm okay and mean it wholeheartedly.
I'm actually more than okay. And it's good to feel that way again.