[munday] audience vs. privacy
Well, I write for both--I write for myself because it's satisfying, and it's something I've always done, and something I need to do; and I write for an audience because I intend on publishing this book someday. It's simply a rather niche audience; many people are offended, disturbed and disgusted by, not only transgressive fiction, but the questions and themes I intend to put forth in my novel.
Do I ever write things I'd never show anybody? Yes, God yes. I've written many things the world will never see--in part due to their quality. For example, the real first draft of Painted Blind--I was rereading a chapter from it last night and I kind of horrified myself. I had absolutely no grasp of who these people were.
There are, however, things I write these days which I will probably never post: sometimes these are because of a chronology issue (although this is easily fixable with a [nostalgia] tag in the journal), but more often than not it is because it's a sex scene or another vignette/short/whatever that I feel only weighs their story on lj down. Because typically, I write about two to three pieces every week (separate from the novel, which I also work on) and usually only one, sometimes two of those ends up on the journal. I just see no need for repetitive, superfluous stories.
Another reason I do not post some of the sex scenes is that, in at least one example, it was so emotionally intimate that I would feel like I was invading my characters' privacy by posting it; similarly, there was an AU Prof. Vasko piece that I labored on but eventually decided to leave unpublished because it was simply too heart-breaking and emotional.
Also, let's face it: some of the sex scenes don't get posted because they're a little--haha, um. *cough* So, moving on.
I wouldn't really say I write anything self indulgent (what's mentioned in the above line being a rare exception) because typically, if I am feeling a need for revenge or so forth, I channel those emotions into my characters and make use of it. If I were to pick a topic and write about it, it would probably only come out one way.
Do I ever write things I'd never show anybody? Yes, God yes. I've written many things the world will never see--in part due to their quality. For example, the real first draft of Painted Blind--I was rereading a chapter from it last night and I kind of horrified myself. I had absolutely no grasp of who these people were.
There are, however, things I write these days which I will probably never post: sometimes these are because of a chronology issue (although this is easily fixable with a [nostalgia] tag in the journal), but more often than not it is because it's a sex scene or another vignette/short/whatever that I feel only weighs their story on lj down. Because typically, I write about two to three pieces every week (separate from the novel, which I also work on) and usually only one, sometimes two of those ends up on the journal. I just see no need for repetitive, superfluous stories.
Another reason I do not post some of the sex scenes is that, in at least one example, it was so emotionally intimate that I would feel like I was invading my characters' privacy by posting it; similarly, there was an AU Prof. Vasko piece that I labored on but eventually decided to leave unpublished because it was simply too heart-breaking and emotional.
Also, let's face it: some of the sex scenes don't get posted because they're a little--haha, um. *cough* So, moving on.
I wouldn't really say I write anything self indulgent (what's mentioned in the above line being a rare exception) because typically, if I am feeling a need for revenge or so forth, I channel those emotions into my characters and make use of it. If I were to pick a topic and write about it, it would probably only come out one way.