Oh man, would you look at the date...
Happy Monkey Day Everybody.
(Three and a half paragraphs about how I haven't been on in forever as if someone noticed.)
Thinking out loud...not out loud but in print.
Thinking in print...
I don't mention these things in facebook because that's not what facebook is. Mine isn't anyway. Nobody gives a good damn what I had for lunch or how far I walked today or how much weight I've lost(gained?). It's light hearted, superficial whimsy and sometimes the most random words I can think of stuck together in a generally cohesive, if not coherent string.
I've lost you. And that's fine.
My nephew is going to have a kid sometime in the next (hopefully for the sake of the mother) 8 hours. I'm going to be a GREAT uncle. Title only I'm certain, as I've not been the best kind of person, let alone uncle.
I can say it's not just my fault and that communication goes two ways and all that; Talk myself in circles until I feel better and then go do something else, but I know that's only an excuse.
A lot of feelings tend to be implied in my family. You don't just talk about it. That's not how it works.
I told my nephew when he called to tell me his girlfriend was pregnant that he can call me whenever or if he needs anything to let me know.
I sent a message from time to time asking how things were and when I did get a response it was "fine".
And I let those apathetical responses justify not taking more of an active role. Not that I can do a damn thing being an hour away and working a sporadic schedule like I do, but whatever.
See? I'm attempting to justify even now.
I started to get into clarifying thoughts on here, but I've opted against that, choosing instead to erase all I had written and replacing it with this:
I need to be a good person.
Starting with not making something as life changing as my great nephew's birth about me. Not that I have with anyone that matters, just you LJ, but I'm still focusing on all the wrong priorities right now.
Nah, I'm done.
I just need to be a good person.
(Three and a half paragraphs about how I haven't been on in forever as if someone noticed.)
Thinking out loud...not out loud but in print.
Thinking in print...
I don't mention these things in facebook because that's not what facebook is. Mine isn't anyway. Nobody gives a good damn what I had for lunch or how far I walked today or how much weight I've lost(gained?). It's light hearted, superficial whimsy and sometimes the most random words I can think of stuck together in a generally cohesive, if not coherent string.
I've lost you. And that's fine.
My nephew is going to have a kid sometime in the next (hopefully for the sake of the mother) 8 hours. I'm going to be a GREAT uncle. Title only I'm certain, as I've not been the best kind of person, let alone uncle.
I can say it's not just my fault and that communication goes two ways and all that; Talk myself in circles until I feel better and then go do something else, but I know that's only an excuse.
A lot of feelings tend to be implied in my family. You don't just talk about it. That's not how it works.
I told my nephew when he called to tell me his girlfriend was pregnant that he can call me whenever or if he needs anything to let me know.
I sent a message from time to time asking how things were and when I did get a response it was "fine".
And I let those apathetical responses justify not taking more of an active role. Not that I can do a damn thing being an hour away and working a sporadic schedule like I do, but whatever.
See? I'm attempting to justify even now.
I started to get into clarifying thoughts on here, but I've opted against that, choosing instead to erase all I had written and replacing it with this:
I need to be a good person.
Starting with not making something as life changing as my great nephew's birth about me. Not that I have with anyone that matters, just you LJ, but I'm still focusing on all the wrong priorities right now.
Nah, I'm done.
I just need to be a good person.