(no subject)
Chapter twelve.
Rachel woke up and immediately jumped from the ground at the sound of the river. It seemed as if she was right next to it, or floating in it, but when she took in her surroundings, she couldn’t even see it. The birds where chirping too loudly, the bugs buzzing madly, and her heart was pounding in her ears. When she called out to Quinn, the loud sound of her voice made her wince. Walking through the trees, she could hear the crushing of the leaves she stepped on and the little animals running around or climbing trees that she couldn’t see. Once she got to the bag, climbing on the tree to get it was an easy affair, even with her hands and legs shaking; but she realized, once she heard the thump when it landed on the floor, that her hearing was sharp -extremely sharp. Rachel was putting on her sweatpants when Quinn arrived, with only her bottom underwear and both hands covering her ears and a permanent grimace on her face. Rachel immediately dug in the bag for a shirt and handed it to Quinn, mindful to look elsewhere while her friend was topless.
“What’s going on?” Quinn whispered, but Rachel heard her just fine from her spot against a tree. For the first time in a long time, she had no idea. So she shrugged. “Everything’s so loud.” Rachel nodded. “We should go; I think we’ll need some cotton for our ears.”
Once they were at Rachel’s house, they went up to her room, closed the binds, windows and curtains and breathed a sigh of relief.
“I thought we were done with the changes.” Quinn whispered, lying down on the brunette’s bed. “Everything sounded so… clean last night.” Rachel just nodded. “Are you ever going to speak?” Quinn’s irritation leaked and so she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Sorry.”
Rachel moved to her bed and sat down next to the blonde, running a hand through her hair and down her cheek. If she stayed still, in the quiet, she could hear Quinn’s breathing and heartbeat. It was amazing, and the more seconds went by, the better she heard it. Clear, like a normal volume of sound.
“Keep quiet…” She whispered. “And you’ll start getting used to it.”
Rachel lay down and rested her head on Quinn’s shoulder. For a few minutes, there was silence and the noises she normally heard as a background or didn’t even notice, like people talking while they walked past her front door, the TV from the house next door, a car, Quinn’s breathing, Quinn’s heartbeat, Quinn’s sigh…
“You’re so much better at this.” Quinn didn’t whisper, but Rachel’s ears didn’t hurt from the volume anymore.
“What do you mean?”
“You always find what to do, how to act with this thing. And it’s surprisingly… liberating.”
Rachel turned to her side, propping her head on her elbow, and settled her left hand right in the middle of Quinn’s chest. Now she could hear and feel her heart.
“It’s nice to know that I don’t have to keep my guard up all the time, but sometimes I feel like I depend on you too much, and it scares me.” Quinn didn’t open her eyes while she spoke, but Rachel could see the emotions written on her face. “If you feel sometimes that I pull away, don’t think you’ve done something wrong. It’s… just because… because you’re too perfect.”
Rachel didn’t know what to say to that.
&&&
Listening to the Glee Club sing wasn’t the hardest thing to do, it actually felt great because, damn they could sing. Rachel was even more aware now of their flaws, which made the screaming matches that followed a little harder to bear. It was like Glee two years ago all over again, except everyone was able to calm down quickly and no one made Rachel feel like crap just because.
Quinn sometimes found herself a little dizzy from the noise in the hallways, seeking refuge in the soundproofed bliss of the auditorium, which more often than not was already occupied with Rachel. They sat there, in the quiet, sometimes next to each other and sometimes in completely opposite ends of the seats. Quinn was thankful that Rachel was someone who she could be in silence with, without needing to speak and not being awkward or boring. People thought Rachel spoke a lot, which was true, but almost no one knew that sometimes she could be extremely quiet, too. Quinn knew the difference between quiet Rachel and upset-quiet Rachel. Thankfully the latter wasn’t too recurrent.
After the first week, they could be in the crowded halls without wincing and they didn’t jump when someone near them spoke a little too loudly. And their balance returned just in time before Rachel started pulling her hair out because she couldn’t practice for ballet. Most of their time the following weeks was spent in the ballet studio -Quinn watching Rachel and her classmates rehearse over and over again. Rachel missed almost all her skating classes, but Quinn wasn’t upset because she knew how hard the brunette was practicing, specially her role as Titania in her number of Midsummer Night’s Dream, the finale of her recital.
All in all, by the third week, the only thing that bothered them was not being able to ignore Kurt and Mercedes gossiping in Glee, especially when it was about them; or Santana and Brittany whispering blush-inducing things to each other during lunch when they thought they weren’t paying attention.
Rachel wished she never heard some of the things they said to each other, because they wouldn’t leave her head at night, and she really, really didn’t want to imagine those things about Quinn. It mortified her, and ashamed her when she looked at her friend smiling softly at her when they slept over.
&&&
Quinn sat motionless on the back seat of the Berry car, the two Mr. Berrys on the front and Rachel next to her, a huge bag in between them, muttering to herself and checking mental lists with her fingers. Quinn knew better than to speak, everyone knew better than to make a noise, because Rachel had been running around in hysterics for the past two days and today, a dreading sense of peace had washed over her, and everyone was afraid of ruining it.
For the past two days, Rachel had been preparing her bag over and over, folding and unfolding her costume, stretching and warming up and doing pirouettes and pliés and muttering about adagios and doing unstoppable fouettés and things even Quinn didn’t understand. She had sat primly on the brunette’s desk doing homework while Rachel screamed to her dads from the top of the stairs about ticket reservations and schedules and running around the house like a mad woman. But finally, on the actual day of her recital, the brunette was calm, peaceful and polite. It was like the calm before the storm, and Quinn was not ashamed to admit she was frightened. Yes, she was friends with Santana, she had tutored Finn in math and had two years of cheerleading practice with coach Sylvester; she had even given birth, and yet Rachel was a terrifying little monkey. Cute, sure, but terrifying. And the only thing stopping her from slapping Rachel all those previous days or shaking her today just to get a non-creepy reaction out of her were those pretty little outfits the brunette wore for practicing: tight tank-tops and sweatpants, leotards and tights.
Once they got into the theatre, Rachel hugged them quickly before running to the dressing rooms, and Quinn waved at the girls she knew as they passed by them, all with matching panicking expressions on their faces. Quinn took her seat right in the middle of the second row while people started coming, all the lights still on and workers finishing the stage. After ten minutes passed, and just when she was starting to think the lights would turn off at any second, her phone vibrated in her dress pocket with a message from Rachel -“Please come back stage. ASAP”
She hadn’t finished pulling back the curtain behind her when a pair of slim, strong arms wrapped themselves around her neck and pulled tight.
“Ouch, Rachel! Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m dying.” The brunette muttered against her neck.
“No, you’re not. What’s going on?” Quinn ran her palms down Rachel’s hair and back as her friend kept her vice grip on her neck, almost bending her back.
“I don’t know why I’m so nervous; I wish my head would stop hurting. I think it’s making it worse. Oh God, what if I pass out from the effort? What if I change ahead of time from the pressure? I swear I can feel my temples pounding, stupid Mr. Schuester for taking us on that stupid trip! Stupid werew-“
Quinn wasn’t sure how she caught all that mumbling against her neck, but she did, and Rachel wasn’t making any sense.
“Slow down! Why are you so nervous? You’ve been practicing for months, I’ve seen you. You’ve got all the moves down.” The blonde whispered against Rachel’s ear.
“You think so?”
“I’ve never seen anyone more graceful.” Quinn smiled.
“Don’t lie to me, I’ve seen Brittany dance.”
Rachel’s voice seemed calmer and Quinn chuckled, relieved it was almost over. But then…
“Three minutes, everyone!”
“Oh God, no!” Rachel cried.
Quinn wrapped her arms firmly around Rachel’s waist, pulling her up above the ground.
“Trust me, you’re gonna be fine babe.”
The blonde tensed at the traitorous nickname, but Rachel pulled away and smiled widely.
“Okay.” She bit the corner of her top lip. “I believe you.”
Quinn hurried down the stage steps and to her seat next to Leroy, and then proceeded to be in awe for the next two hours.
Once Rachel finished laughing and jumping with the other ballerinas, she ran to her Daddy’s arms and he picked her up and spun her around, then her Dad almost crushed her with a hug. Rachel turned to Quinn, who was standing a few feet away, watching her with an expression the brunette couldn’t really put a name on and her hands behind her back. She bit her lip as she slowly walked towards the blonde, and before she could put her arms around her, Quinn produced a little bouquet of flowers from behind her back.
“I know you don’t like dead flowers…” Quinn began while Rachel took them. “So I got those for you.”
Rachel traced her fingers down a petal of the silk roses, her heart pounding in her chest, wanting to come out of her throat or maybe from all her pores.
When almost an entire minute passed and Rachel didn’t say anything, Quinn started panicking a little.
“It’s not real silk either… I-I know it’s not vegan s-“An armful of Rachel Berry stopped her words. The brunette was pressed up against her in every single place from their knees up. Quinn watched Hiram chuckle before she buried her nose in her friend’s hair and wrapped her arms around her.
“I love you.” Rachel blurted against her ear. Quinn’s breath catched in her throat. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” Of course. Quinn smiled softly anyway, moving her head a little to kiss Rachel’s cheek. “I love them, they’re gorgeous.”
“I’m glad you liked them.” Quinn pulled away softly and grabbed Rachel’s hand. Rachel’s dads were waiting for them at the front door with Rachel’s bag and they walked towards the car to go to dinner.
Once they were at the Chinese restaurant, Rachel proceeded to tell them all about the backstage gossip and costume drama and she didn’t stop talking for the three hours they were there.
Quinn liked Rachel when they were quiet together, but hearing her speak non-stop about something she loved was the most amazing thing. It was like she could almost feel everything Rachel felt about the things she was passionate about. She could see the glimmer in her eyes, the way the corners of her mouth were always a little up in a small smile, making the corners of her eyes smile too. And she knew Rachel’s dads loved it too, if the smiles they kept during the duration of dinner were any indication.
“Are you going to help Mr. Linton with the sheep next week?” Hiram asked them while they were driving back to the Berry home.
Rachel limited herself to a nod. They always tried to talk as little as possible about the alibi they used for their monthly disappearances for an entire day. Mr. Linton had his own supply of food and water and never went to the town if he could help it, so no one would have a chance to ask him about Quinn and Rachel unless they drove to his house, which the girls made sure never happened. Three months ago he’d been on the news, and what he said had worried both of the girl’s parents after what had happened last year.
“Has he caught that animal that was attacking his farm a few months ago? Because if he didn’t, I really don’t think you should be going…”
“Dad, its broad day light; nothing’s going to attack us.” Rachel faked indifference like a true performer, and her father sighed.
“I guess you’re right, but you have to be careful.”
“Yes, we promise.”
&&&
The night was beautiful. The Moon light shone on the top of the trees and on the water flowing down the river. Rachel waited patiently for her wolf in the middle of the clearing, next to the trees, almost forgetting by now that that was the exact same spot where they were attacked. It was in the back of her mind, but she thought nothing of it. Didn’t think it could possibly mean something. The now familiar noises around her kept her alert, but the distinctive sound of paws hitting the grass was non-existent. She waited approximately an hour before succumbing to worry and impatience and running in search of her wolf. Perhaps Quinn wouldn’t have been over-enthusiastic if Rachel hadn’t found her running and ran along with her instead of stopping for greetings. The wind brought along a delicious yet familiar smell to their location. Rachel immediately stopped, but Quinn didn’t. The dark wolf emitted a long growl, signaling for her wolf to stop -but she didn’t. Rachel’s hairs stood on end all along her spine, and she sprinted, catching up to Quinn in a matter of seconds. She growled again while they ran, and the only answer she got was a whine from the back of her wolf’s throat, signaling that she was starved. But Rachel was having none of it. As they ran along Mr. Linton’s shed, she stopped and let out a terrifying growl, and Quinn stopped abruptly, turned around, and growled right back. Rachel’s ears flattened to her head as she bore her teeth, but the dark gold wolf growled once again before turning around and disappearing along the side of the building. For a few minutes, Rachel stood on her spot, ears strained to Quinn’s movements; she heard her jumping the fence, crouching down and jumping to attack. Then, the sound of a heavy body hitting the ground as the sheep fell to the grass, whimpering slightly before growing silent.
Rachel’s muscles were hot and trembling, anger creeping up her spine and running through her veins. But then there was a noise, and a bang, and a whine as a body collided with the floor, and whatever was inside her veins ran cold. Her muscles prepared for jumping but her instinct told her not to appear from the same side Quinn did. She rounded the shed and poked her head to find her wolf lying on the ground, a trembling old man with a shotgun pointing at her, at her wolf. Her mind almost when blank with blinding rage as she leapt once, twice, before colliding with the man and sending him flying to the ground, unconscious. She reached Quinn in the second that followed, and was greeted with a whine as scared eyes looked up at her. Rachel whined right back, licking along her wolf’s face and finding the wound to lick as well. She could hear the mad pounding of her wolf’s heart, and it scared her. She sunk her teeth onto Quinn’s neck and pulled her up. The golden wolf stood shakily on her legs for a few seconds before collapsing sideways into her wolf. Rachel whined, tugged softly on Quinn’s ear with her teeth, and urged her to move along. She could smell the blood on her wolf’s flesh, drying in her hair, sliding down her paw. They walked for a while, stopping every minute when Quinn slumped over Rachel and the black wolf helped her up by the neck. The road wasn’t too far away from Mr. Linton’s farm, but once they reached it, Quinn’s raged breath stopped Rachel in her tracks. She whined, turning her face to lick up her wolf’s face, but her eyes were closed and her body felt heavier as she slumped unconscious against Rachel.
The pounding of the black wolf’s heart reached her ears and all her muscles tensed. Rachel could feel them heating, trembling, twitching, and for a second she thought she was having a seizure of some kind. Her brain almost felt like it was pounding, too, and she desperately tried to find the strength to concentrate on her wolf next to her, bleeding herself dry. A growl ripped itself from the very back of her throat, and her jaw clenched before she sunk her teeth onto Quinn’s neck once more, pulled up and back, sending her flying on top of her body. Rachel’s legs wobbled and bended from the weight, but she took a deep breath and stood up. Quinn’s body slid to the right, almost falling, but Rachel caught her by the neck, right behind her ear, and bounced her two back legs, almost like a horse, while simultaneously shifting to the left. After a few tries and experimental moves, Rachel got Quinn’s body to be right on top of hers, one front and one back leg on each side. Keeping her hold on that spot on her wolf’s neck, Rachel began to walk slowly down the road, a feeling of dread creeping up her spine the more she got away from the forest and the faster she went as her body got used to the weight. It went against all of her wolf instincts to turn away from the safety of the trees, but it went against the root of her core to lose Quinn, so she gathered all her strength and fought back. And she won.
Once she got to the town, she was already running faster than she thought was possible. There was only one place on her mind, and she was running straight at it. Lima at night was dark and deserted. The good kind of people slept soundly and warm at their houses, and the bad kind of people hid in dark bars and corners of alleys. Rachel was happy, probably for the first time, that she lived in a small town.
The Pierce residence was grand and tall, it imposed on all the other houses on the street. As soon as she visualized it, Rachel’s legs carried them faster still. Right next to the door, above the door bell, was a plaque that read: “Alexander Pierce -veterinarian.” And a second one above it that read: “Daphne Jansen-Pierce -veterinarian.”
Carefully, Rachel let go of Quinn’s neck and moved her body to the right, causing her wolf to fall to the ground. After a lick to the face and another to her wound -answered by a week whimper from Quinn, Rachel stood on her back legs, one of her front paws pressing on the doorbell. It rang for an entire minute before she heard footsteps hurrying down the stairs, and so, with one last look at Quinn, Rachel ran to the back of the house and strained her ears.
The door opened, and after two seconds, she heard a scream in a language she didn’t understand, she guessed Dutch, that sounded like Ms. Jansen-Pierce calling to her husband. Then there was a distinctive sound of someone dragging something very heavy, and the door closed after a minute. Rachel ran to the window once she saw a light on, and found it was the hallway that led to the veterinary clinic. Seconds later, a blur of two people in their pajamas carrying a stretcher with an injured wolf crossed the window before disappearing. Rachel let out a minute-long howl.
&&&
It was the first and only time Rachel didn’t pass out when she changed back into her human form. The pain on every single nerve ending of her being, the pressing of her skull against her brain, didn’t surpass the feeling of anxiety she felt for Quinn. She’d heard Brittany’s parents mumbles at night while they operated Quinn, she heard them going back to bed, and they hadn’t woken up yet. Once she was able to stand up, Rachel carefully opened the back door and slipped inside the kitchen. She went straight to the laundry room and put on a pair of Brittany’s shorts and an old shirt she didn’t think they would miss. Grabbing clothes for Quinn, she slowly made her way down the hallway, her heart pounding painfully inside her chest and on her ears. The door to the room Quinn was in was locked with a chain lock, and once she unlocked it and opened the door, she closed her eyes and slipped in, closing the door behind her, afraid of what she would find.
The sight of Quinn, naked and fragile, curled up on herself, almost broke her heart. There was what looked like a slave chain on her left foot, and an awkward looking dog-halter hanging from her neck. For a second, Rachel thought she looked like some kind of creepy fetish fantasy. She went to the hook next to the door that held the keys, and then proceeded to fumble with all of them until she found the one that opened the chain around Quinn’s foot. She was trying to take halter quickly but softly when Quinn stirred and her eyes opened.
Rachel wasn’t prepared for the shove that came next, and she fell to the ground. Quinn jumped back from the table and flattened herself against the opposite wall, eyes wide and chest heaving.
“Quinn, please don’t be scared. Do you remember anything about what happened?” Rachel spoke from the ground, in the same position she had fallen. Quinn’s eyes seemed to be wild still, as if she were still a wolf. But then her jaw clenched and unclenched, and her eyes filled with tears as her hand went to her ribs.
Her eyes were wide, innocent and full of tears, accompanied with a killer pout when she murmured “Ouch.”
“Oh baby.” Rachel scrambled to her feet and rushed to the blonde, softly wrapping her arms around her naked form, just as she started shivering. She pressed one, two, three, four kisses to Quinn’s cheek. “You scared me so much.” She mumbled. “Put these clothes on and let’s go, before anyone wakes up.”
Once they sneaked quietly out of the house, they walked the five blocks to Quinn’s house in silence under the pink sky, the blonde with one arm around Rachel’s shoulders, leaning against her. The pavement under their bare feet was cold and oddly soothing, and the wind was gentle as it lightly blew their tussled hair. From the outside, they probably looked like two drunken teenagers coming home from a party, if the dark patches under their eyes were any indication.
Quinn’s mom was home, sleeping soundly in her bed, but they still climbed the stairs slowly and quietly to Quinn’s room. Rachel didn’t let go of the blonde until she sat her on the bed and gently pulled her down by the shoulders until her back was resting against the mattress. Then she kneeled next to her and pushed her shirt up, exposing her injury. She wasn’t entirely surprised to find it closed, a thick, violet line surrounded by purple.
“It doesn’t hurt.” Quinn mumbled with a small voice. “Only if you touch it.”
“I won’t touch it.” Rachel answered just as quietly, shaking her head a little.
“Rach?” The brunette looked up to Quinn’s face. “Can we sleep now?”
They kept Brittany’s clothes for sleeping. Quinn arched her back and then lifted her hips as Rachel drew back the covers, then fluffed Quinn’s pillow and kissed her forehead. She got under the covers as well, sitting with her back against the headboard, but couldn’t fall asleep. Quinn did after less than a minute, snuggling to Rachel and sighing. After a while of staring out of the window to try to keep herself distracted, Rachel finally tangled a hand on blonde hair and let her tears fall freely, releasing all of the dread and anxiety and just pure terror she experienced that night.
Unexpectedly, Quinn raised her arm sleepily to touch her dampened cheek and shushed her.
“Don’t cry, sweetie.” She whispered in a harsh, sleepy voice.
Rachel bit her lip and nodded, trying to comply, but it only served to make her cry harder, hiccupping and sobbing. Quinn sat up slowly and wrapped her arms around Rachel’s waist, and the brunette dragged her body between her legs by wrapping her arms around her neck. With Quinn’s facer buried in her chest, Rachel hid her face in her blonde locks and inhaled. She needed to feel Quinn, to smell Quinn, hold her to know she was alright. Her friend seemed to understand, settling her body comfortably on Rachel’s, snuggling to her and falling asleep once Rachel had stopped crying.
Rachel heard the noises Judy Fabray made as she woke up, took a shower, had breakfast and then left for work. She heard more noises as the neighbors around the Fabray house left their homes, started their cars and drove off. The sun got higher and higher in the sky as she watched it through the window. People walked down the street chatting and children played in their gardens and back yards. Mommies called them for lunch, then they played again, then mommies called them for a nap. The woman next door watched the news in a TV that was probably next to her kitchen window because Rachel heard it clearly.
The world went on, it was alive, and Quinn was sleeping quietly in her arms and against all of her. Rachel’s mind became foggier, her eyes heavier, Quinn’s warmth washed over her, until she finally fell asleep.