WOW
WHAT a weekend!...
I spent the weekend with my boyfriend (whom i am madly in love with) and on friday we went sailing. The winds were high and the waters were rough so we only had the jib (front) sail up. We noticed that a stay was loose, and we went to tack the mast flexed, snapped in two, and then broke off the boat entirely. The boom crashed down only inches behind my head, and we're both lucky that one of the cables didn't snap around and slice us open. Not to mention all the countless other pieces of the rig that could have seriously injured us. It was quite an experience and we're both really lucky. Definitely a good story for the kids :) Neither of us realized what a close-call we had until after we finally made it back to the dock. Nonetheless we had a wonderful weekend together. I didn't purge (because there was nowhere to do so) and what i wanted to. Hell, if he wants to wine and dine me while we are together, then fuck it...i'll let him. I don't feel bad about the things that I ate. I did what i wanted and i was so happy all weekend.
I hate that i have to come back to school because I know that now i will start restricting and purging again, and those things will only make me unhappy with myself. It sucks because i know that my disordered eating is making me sick and unhappy...but there's nothing i can do about it. I have to do what i have to do, i don't have a choice. It makes no sense...
either way, i feel much better then i did at the time of my last post, i will definitely be working hard in the coming week (on my body and on the my schoolwork)
all for now
-lc
I spent the weekend with my boyfriend (whom i am madly in love with) and on friday we went sailing. The winds were high and the waters were rough so we only had the jib (front) sail up. We noticed that a stay was loose, and we went to tack the mast flexed, snapped in two, and then broke off the boat entirely. The boom crashed down only inches behind my head, and we're both lucky that one of the cables didn't snap around and slice us open. Not to mention all the countless other pieces of the rig that could have seriously injured us. It was quite an experience and we're both really lucky. Definitely a good story for the kids :) Neither of us realized what a close-call we had until after we finally made it back to the dock. Nonetheless we had a wonderful weekend together. I didn't purge (because there was nowhere to do so) and what i wanted to. Hell, if he wants to wine and dine me while we are together, then fuck it...i'll let him. I don't feel bad about the things that I ate. I did what i wanted and i was so happy all weekend.
I hate that i have to come back to school because I know that now i will start restricting and purging again, and those things will only make me unhappy with myself. It sucks because i know that my disordered eating is making me sick and unhappy...but there's nothing i can do about it. I have to do what i have to do, i don't have a choice. It makes no sense...
either way, i feel much better then i did at the time of my last post, i will definitely be working hard in the coming week (on my body and on the my schoolwork)
all for now
-lc