curtain call
beads fall to the panels and I wince as they crash
My Lord's wooden beads-
earthy colors, and maybe a cross, on a plastic thread
which broke.
but I can't look, not from under my eyelids
more sealed than nightmare-sealed,
heavier than coin-heavy,
closed because I chose to close them
chose to die
on this twice washed blanket and a mattress they found on the street,
dying too fast
with my neck thrashing between gentle hands,
and afterwards not quite perfectly still
when they scatter . . .
My Lord's wooden beads-
earthy colors, and maybe a cross, on a plastic thread
which broke.
but I can't look, not from under my eyelids
more sealed than nightmare-sealed,
heavier than coin-heavy,
closed because I chose to close them
chose to die
on this twice washed blanket and a mattress they found on the street,
dying too fast
with my neck thrashing between gentle hands,
and afterwards not quite perfectly still
when they scatter . . .