hurt my feelings dammit!
...So...i think that Tim is real down and out cause he's going to Illinois and i am staying in crappy old ohio! he's leaving thursday, and coming back on the 30th...it's only a few days. I think that he'll live. Last night while i was picking up aavery, Roy called me...and i kind of lost my temper with him. I did not mean to do so at all. I had a rough day. had explained to him why i was about to burst, and he still nagged on. He was asking why i dont take the next step and date tim, and saying that i was just coming up with reasons not to date him, that i was stupid for not giving him a chance. I told him polietly to be quite and i was hanging up on him. I AM NOT DATING TIM!!!!! we are just friends... and he'll be the first one to tell ya that! he know's the rules. i have laid them before him, and he still decides to persue! and that is fine...maybe in time i'll change my mind but for now, NO! he has been given a chance. a chance to be a good friend. for heaven's sake he spends the night like four nights a week.!!! and ya know where he sleeps? on the floor! by my x-mas tree! you know where i sleep? on my couch! hahaha! when he gets up it is kinda cute cause he folds up his blankets nice and neat and puts them back and everything! but...just cause he is sweet to me does not give me a reason to date him! hell tons of guys are sweet to me... that is not all that i am looking for! don't u people understand? Roy said that he and i both know that he won't hurt my feelings like ever and he'd give me what ever i want....WAKE-UP people..that is not how it is supposed to be. i dont want him to bow down to my every beck and call...that is not what relationships are supposed to be about. they are supposed to be about compromise.~give and take! this and that! and i want someone who's not going to be afraid to argue with me! and not be afraid to tell me how it is, and tell me the truth! i'm not afraid of getting my feelings hurt! it hurts for awhile, you compromise, and make up! however, i am afraid of hurting!! which is why i could never be in a relationship...probably for a long time. when i am in a relationship...i dont hold anything back! its all or nothing...i give 100%! and right now...i'd rather give nothing, cause i am not ready to get hurt again. and sure tim's an AMAZING MAN, but i'm taking care of me now. and frankly not that i dont care about tim. i'd do anything for him, and anyone else who comes along. but i still see him as a potential pain! lol! and i mean that in the best possible way!
~~~so january 1st i get a new roomate!...that should be interesting!!!~~~
two weeks off school...hell yeah! SLEEP IN! and tonight party with the guys!!!! hahaha!! what is beer pong?! i know what a beer bong is thanks to jeremy and his extinsive knowledge..hehehe...but beer pong is a new concept to me!