everything but...
Today i had my english exam. and i do believe that i did well on it. Tomorrow will be the real test. INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS. i will do plenty of studying tonight for that.
~anyways~
So my social life has been blooming like crazy! i'm not going to complain. it has been nice. I've definately had alot of fun. But i still feel like no matter how many friends i hang out with, or how much fun we have. i still feel as if there is this gaping hole in my soul, and i cannot stop the bleeding. I hide this wound well, and perhaps too well. and maybe that is why no one has been able to help me. But on the other hand, i am afraid that if i expose my weakness i'm going to get hurt while i'm down. and let's face it, i'm strong. and will continue to be stong. I have to. Do it for myself. and that is my motive to keep living everyday like its a day that i have not lived before. i just want the most i can get out of life. I think getting away for the summer will be good for me. i'm extremely excited. maybe it will get me out of my recent mind set.
~ i've decided to turn down Tim's offer. I will not be going to chicago for x-mas which means i will probably be spending christmas alone in my apartment with my ghetto x-mas tree! hahaha thanks to james & aavery! but i've decided that is the road in front of me. i very lonely, very depressing road. but that is my secret. a secret everyone surrounding me will know. but will not dare speak of.
***but on the good note***
I DO have plans for new years. Tim and i are going to make an appearance at BOB'S house. cause we promised. then after that apperance we are going back to his house to get ready for his party. everyone will be there and it will be nice. jake and aavery are going, matt, james, and tons of tim's friends and roy's and tabby's and SARETTA is going. we went to the club Saturday night...and it was a blast. plus JOE, hahaha the bartender at NEO.. that has like the biggest crush on me. it's sort of sweet. but he's a bartender. YOU KNOW HE HAS GAME!
<><><><><>FYI ASHLEY<><><><><><><><><><>
[I STILL HAVE THE REBOUND CONDOM ON MY BOOKSELF! WITH IT'S ORANGE GOODNESS]
~anyways~
So my social life has been blooming like crazy! i'm not going to complain. it has been nice. I've definately had alot of fun. But i still feel like no matter how many friends i hang out with, or how much fun we have. i still feel as if there is this gaping hole in my soul, and i cannot stop the bleeding. I hide this wound well, and perhaps too well. and maybe that is why no one has been able to help me. But on the other hand, i am afraid that if i expose my weakness i'm going to get hurt while i'm down. and let's face it, i'm strong. and will continue to be stong. I have to. Do it for myself. and that is my motive to keep living everyday like its a day that i have not lived before. i just want the most i can get out of life. I think getting away for the summer will be good for me. i'm extremely excited. maybe it will get me out of my recent mind set.
~ i've decided to turn down Tim's offer. I will not be going to chicago for x-mas which means i will probably be spending christmas alone in my apartment with my ghetto x-mas tree! hahaha thanks to james & aavery! but i've decided that is the road in front of me. i very lonely, very depressing road. but that is my secret. a secret everyone surrounding me will know. but will not dare speak of.
***but on the good note***
I DO have plans for new years. Tim and i are going to make an appearance at BOB'S house. cause we promised. then after that apperance we are going back to his house to get ready for his party. everyone will be there and it will be nice. jake and aavery are going, matt, james, and tons of tim's friends and roy's and tabby's and SARETTA is going. we went to the club Saturday night...and it was a blast. plus JOE, hahaha the bartender at NEO.. that has like the biggest crush on me. it's sort of sweet. but he's a bartender. YOU KNOW HE HAS GAME!
<><><><><>FYI ASHLEY<><><><><><><><><><>
[I STILL HAVE THE REBOUND CONDOM ON MY BOOKSELF! WITH IT'S ORANGE GOODNESS]