it's your life...but you've only got one
If it takes shit to make bliss...well i feel pretty blissfully
Well if life's not beautiful without the pain than i would rather never ever see beauty again
LIfe is going well. I promised myself on the way back to pullman this past monday that i would try and jsut have fun. That i wouldn't be phased by the little things and i wouldn't get caught up in the drama because that was not like me very long ago but i feel like i have drifted into that ridiculously distructive habit. err. I hate that about myself. The little things bother me here. The things people say stay in my head longer and i notice myself being so destructive to who i am. I think it is the people i have surrounded myself with. I love them to death, don't get me wrong. I would not have had such a beneficial first semester and such if i haven't formed the friendships i have but the way the influence me and think has changed the way i think. That influence whether they mean it to be negative( most of the time they don't) somehow gets morphed into something destructive. I think it is because i don't feel supported here. As much as i did( or i think anyone) does at home. errr. part of it may be me but i feel like i am so much more critical of myself. I am not haviing fun. Or the fun i could be having if i spent more of my time around people who are truly living!! ahh it feels good to finally understand how i am feeling.
I went to the something corporate concert on thursday. So badly needed! i had so much fun. Caitlin: i have not spent that much time around you at Wazzu. My whole night was changed by your beautiful presence. Without yo uthere i don't know what i would have done. It is funny to me that our friendship is that solid. We only see each other in Biology really and yet a night together enjoying music and cop activity(ahhh:-O) can completely reaffirm my love for you and how much you mean to me. Life, you;ve only got one. I don't remember that often enough. I think part of it is that i am not truly living on my own right now. I have lost the things that truly make me happy. Friends who show respect, alex and bein able to laugh for hours, bodies of water, beautiful sunsets oh whatever. I need to adjust and find new things to make me happy. Everything changes and you only have one chance. I love my life and those around me i just need to figure out the level playing field. Please have a good night, enjoy your life and if anyone wants to talk about life and things beautiful please either call me or we'l go to coffee.!! bless this life!!
Well if life's not beautiful without the pain than i would rather never ever see beauty again
LIfe is going well. I promised myself on the way back to pullman this past monday that i would try and jsut have fun. That i wouldn't be phased by the little things and i wouldn't get caught up in the drama because that was not like me very long ago but i feel like i have drifted into that ridiculously distructive habit. err. I hate that about myself. The little things bother me here. The things people say stay in my head longer and i notice myself being so destructive to who i am. I think it is the people i have surrounded myself with. I love them to death, don't get me wrong. I would not have had such a beneficial first semester and such if i haven't formed the friendships i have but the way the influence me and think has changed the way i think. That influence whether they mean it to be negative( most of the time they don't) somehow gets morphed into something destructive. I think it is because i don't feel supported here. As much as i did( or i think anyone) does at home. errr. part of it may be me but i feel like i am so much more critical of myself. I am not haviing fun. Or the fun i could be having if i spent more of my time around people who are truly living!! ahh it feels good to finally understand how i am feeling.
I went to the something corporate concert on thursday. So badly needed! i had so much fun. Caitlin: i have not spent that much time around you at Wazzu. My whole night was changed by your beautiful presence. Without yo uthere i don't know what i would have done. It is funny to me that our friendship is that solid. We only see each other in Biology really and yet a night together enjoying music and cop activity(ahhh:-O) can completely reaffirm my love for you and how much you mean to me. Life, you;ve only got one. I don't remember that often enough. I think part of it is that i am not truly living on my own right now. I have lost the things that truly make me happy. Friends who show respect, alex and bein able to laugh for hours, bodies of water, beautiful sunsets oh whatever. I need to adjust and find new things to make me happy. Everything changes and you only have one chance. I love my life and those around me i just need to figure out the level playing field. Please have a good night, enjoy your life and if anyone wants to talk about life and things beautiful please either call me or we'l go to coffee.!! bless this life!!