(no subject)
i stayed in tonight. i needed the time to figure out what i am to do now and how i should the rest of my time here. It is ridiculous but i feel like the girl last night took some piece of me. Not literally obviously but she took some of my confidence. I have slipped from who i want to be in this world and i have worked a lot this semester to get back to being a work in progress instead of decline and last night when i get kind of dressed up and am feeling good i have to have that stolen by someone who i had never seen before. I spent all of today havingthe comment of " uh why don't you lose some weight" playing over and over again. Even while working out i could not stop it. It is funny how comments like that wouldn't have bothered me a year ago but i am so weak here. I am losing the people who meant so much to me and am surrounded by new people who i love but i feel like i am being influenced, on my own part, into things that i don't like. That may make no sense at all. I am lost in this world. That is frustrating cus i never been before. I guess all you can do is let it pass and become stronger. errr i just wish it didn't bother me as much as it does. Oh well this week will be good. i have class until thursday and then i leave to go home and spend time with my other half. One of the few people who can make this dissapear. that will be fantastic and to see my parents who i love more than anything. ahh life is beautiful even though it can sometimes be intoxicated by people with hate intheir hearts. You can only wish they learn. all my love and best wishes.