Oct 14, 2007 02:06
another day, one less day remaining... anyway... it's kinda weird to always think about how people tell me i have so many friends and so many people love me, but realistically, i feel like i've got 2 people who really care about me in life... when i'm down, realistically, who gives a fuck, or who really pays enough attention to me. anyway, so i spent today, sleeping my day away, fixing marie's ipod, stopping in at work to drop it off with her... then i spent the next 3 hours at barnes and noble reading books and magazines. sat around after that at home waiting for calls from a few people, everyone failed to bother to call me.
sometimes i wonder about life, and this is kinda why i've been the way i have been lately... i just feel like i'm sick of spending time with people who don't honestly give that much of a shit about me. so basically, i see chris alot, but other than that, i'm not sure how i feel about anyone else, cause i don't know how true it is, and i don't know how long it'll last. that's how i feel about too many of my friends, and too many of the girls i know, and have had an interest in.
why would they like me, and when they do, why do they stop giving a shit so easily? it's not even worth my time anymore, and i don't wanna tease myself by getting my hopes up, and just being let down all over again. it's not worth it, i feel like my best days are behind me alot, it's like, all the "love" i had in my life, is a thing of the distant past. it's just not the same. and back then i felt like i had stronger friendships than i do now, it's not that i don't still love my friends, but how much do they really care about me? is it because i'm there for them whenever they need me, but when they don't need me, well... they don't need me, i'm of no use. i'm not sure what the situation is. though i think it's funny that whenever i'm down about something, the first thing i go out and do, is buy a new toy, to entertain myself with.
anyway, back to watching tv and playing video games, and it's probably another reminder as to why i enjoy working so much, it passes the time between movies and games.
expect 10 facts about me soon...