(no subject)
The all-nighter that I pulled day-before/yesterday did help me go to sleep, somewhat, last night. It’s also brought me to the realization that I am no longer as fearless of the dark as I use to be. I can attribute this to the games my mind plays on me though. It seems like every time its super dark in the house/room, my mind wants to play images of some not so pretty stuff. This can include some scary creatures that one might see in games/movies, thoughts of torture, and other related things that you don’t want to think about while in darkness. Am I fearful of these things? I would like to think not. I think what bothers me the most is being left in a defenseless position. Sure those things aren’t real and I know that, but tell that to my mind.
I think with the way life is going right now and trying to throw me right back into a depression, or drive me insane, it’s time I changed who I am. I’m not sure if that is the answer or not, but something has to give/change and I figure I might as well do it now. I’m not going to change a whole lot like I planned the other day, but I am going to change the way I handle/think/deal with some things. For better or worse is yet to be seen, but it’s either take this route or get right back into depression. I’m not about to go back down with that, since depression is a waste of life, time, and several other things… The way the current situation is going though, I think this: Why the hell can’t people get along? Mother/Grand Mother that I live with, sadly, are always bickering about the stupidest stuff. Who gets drug right into the middle? That’s right, me. I do not see how any guys out there can be a Momma’s boy. I’m about ready to strangle the two or just up and leave/live on the street.
On a lesser note, Fire Emblem for the Game Cube is a-w-e-s-o-m-e. So far the storyline is pretty good and the characters are pretty unique. This could change as the storyline advances, but so far they remain pretty unique. I plan on writing a review for this game since I’m a fan of the series/artwork/music, so I’ll probably throw it on the Blog as well. Ph34r the invasion of the reviews. :P
I have to leave off on a more serious note though. I don’t know why, but it seems like every time I try to get back to being close/tight with God, a ton of stuff just pops up and either derails or knocks me back to where I was previously. It kind of makes me wonder… I can see where people can come up with valid arguments that there isn’t a god and all, but if there isn’t… Why does all of this stuff happen to me when I try to find my way back? It’s to much to be just chance, because it happens every single time. I’m sure people could just say I have crummy luck and it has bad timing, but I’d say there is more to it than that… Too much of this happens at one point and out of the blue, always. To much to be just chance, ya know?
I think with the way life is going right now and trying to throw me right back into a depression, or drive me insane, it’s time I changed who I am. I’m not sure if that is the answer or not, but something has to give/change and I figure I might as well do it now. I’m not going to change a whole lot like I planned the other day, but I am going to change the way I handle/think/deal with some things. For better or worse is yet to be seen, but it’s either take this route or get right back into depression. I’m not about to go back down with that, since depression is a waste of life, time, and several other things… The way the current situation is going though, I think this: Why the hell can’t people get along? Mother/Grand Mother that I live with, sadly, are always bickering about the stupidest stuff. Who gets drug right into the middle? That’s right, me. I do not see how any guys out there can be a Momma’s boy. I’m about ready to strangle the two or just up and leave/live on the street.
On a lesser note, Fire Emblem for the Game Cube is a-w-e-s-o-m-e. So far the storyline is pretty good and the characters are pretty unique. This could change as the storyline advances, but so far they remain pretty unique. I plan on writing a review for this game since I’m a fan of the series/artwork/music, so I’ll probably throw it on the Blog as well. Ph34r the invasion of the reviews. :P
I have to leave off on a more serious note though. I don’t know why, but it seems like every time I try to get back to being close/tight with God, a ton of stuff just pops up and either derails or knocks me back to where I was previously. It kind of makes me wonder… I can see where people can come up with valid arguments that there isn’t a god and all, but if there isn’t… Why does all of this stuff happen to me when I try to find my way back? It’s to much to be just chance, because it happens every single time. I’m sure people could just say I have crummy luck and it has bad timing, but I’d say there is more to it than that… Too much of this happens at one point and out of the blue, always. To much to be just chance, ya know?