so i guess ill update for real
punctuation and capitilization is for squares - dashes are the best way to go between thoughts. anyhow i have no idea what the heck is going on with me anymore, i pretty much love and hate my life right now. why are the things that should be the simplest the hardest and vice versa, if you ask me it's all a huge conspiracy - i pretty much dont want
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"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
i don't know how much you are into religion but whenever i am down i turn to the bible. it helps you understand your purpose and face your fears. the only thing to fear is fear itself-theodore roosevelt . don't hide yourself you have a beautiful personality so there is no reason to hide it. I understand how you feel like you are seperated and alone but at the same time everyone is out there is it like you are living your life through a camera seeing your actions but cant control them? sorry i tend to get very intellectual at points but i know what you are going through we are kind of in the same boat..
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I tend to refer to the bible as well, my favorite verses are
"if god is for you than who can be against you" and also I read somewhere "if god brings you to it he will bring you through it" --- I'm not really sure where these feelings come from, I think it's more just from the perspective that the everyday superficial activities people do just don't give me any satisfication. I don't know if I'm really afraid, I just don't feel the desire to expose myself for people who I just don't feel are being honest with me or themselves. As far as control, well - maybe I have a little bit too much control - that's another story.
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