angledge posts through me! I'm like a medium! Or something...
My good buddy angledge claims that she recently drove to Reno, Nevada for work. "Recently" being yesterday. But she had no time and thus asked me to post her travel summary for her.
Her occupation does require her to be environmentally conscious, in addition to monitoring the environmental consciousness (or unconsciousness, as the case may be) of others. So it was no small wonder when her supervisor, a mysterious British agent known only as "Des" (we believe it's short for "Descartes", making him a Frenchy in Brit clothing; insidious!), commanded her to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with... A HERRING!
Being a former vegetarian, however, she was loath to use a living creature to smite a vegetable life form. So she resorted to power tools.
Her battle with the Nevada Titan Tree (tm) was epic and legendary, and beyond the scope of this humble recapper. Hot and sweaty with the salty taste of victory, she grinned wickedly...
...until she realized that her actions had angered the other denizens of the forest. They marched upon her with the Fury Of Fangorn (Lev.3, Conj/Evoc, S/M, Casting time: 1 round) and surrounded her. Things looked grim for our heroine...
She fought valiantly with tooth, claw, bulldozer, and herring, but in the end, they outnumbered her, wrapped her in pointy evergreen needles, and rolled her down the side of the mountain into the infamous Donner Lake, where she was ordered to eat herself.
The rest of this story is too horrible for sane mortal minds to cope with. Suffice it to say, she got home safe, sound, and a bit less respectful towards our evergreen neighbors. But she did get some pretty pictures.
(Disclaimer: In case you were wondering, that entire story is bullshit. She went to Nevada, did some work, took some pictures of scenery en route, and went back home. Although really, I'd have imagined Nevada to be a bit less... snowy and lakey. You know, I bet she, in fact, is bullshitting me! Oh, the irony!)
Her occupation does require her to be environmentally conscious, in addition to monitoring the environmental consciousness (or unconsciousness, as the case may be) of others. So it was no small wonder when her supervisor, a mysterious British agent known only as "Des" (we believe it's short for "Descartes", making him a Frenchy in Brit clothing; insidious!), commanded her to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with... A HERRING!
Being a former vegetarian, however, she was loath to use a living creature to smite a vegetable life form. So she resorted to power tools.
Her battle with the Nevada Titan Tree (tm) was epic and legendary, and beyond the scope of this humble recapper. Hot and sweaty with the salty taste of victory, she grinned wickedly...
...until she realized that her actions had angered the other denizens of the forest. They marched upon her with the Fury Of Fangorn (Lev.3, Conj/Evoc, S/M, Casting time: 1 round) and surrounded her. Things looked grim for our heroine...
She fought valiantly with tooth, claw, bulldozer, and herring, but in the end, they outnumbered her, wrapped her in pointy evergreen needles, and rolled her down the side of the mountain into the infamous Donner Lake, where she was ordered to eat herself.
The rest of this story is too horrible for sane mortal minds to cope with. Suffice it to say, she got home safe, sound, and a bit less respectful towards our evergreen neighbors. But she did get some pretty pictures.
(Disclaimer: In case you were wondering, that entire story is bullshit. She went to Nevada, did some work, took some pictures of scenery en route, and went back home. Although really, I'd have imagined Nevada to be a bit less... snowy and lakey. You know, I bet she, in fact, is bullshitting me! Oh, the irony!)