I Have A (Dorky) Dream!
Dreams really are funny things. I'm sure everyone knows this; we've all had weird dreams. But sometimes you do things in your dreams that are so... realistic, in a doofy way. Observe:
Reality: My alarm is set to go off at about 5:50 am. Because I've been getting up at this time for ages, my body is rather used to that, and often wakes itself up around that time, or sometimes a little earlier. Case in point, today, when I woke up at 5:15 am. I roll over and go back to sleep. REM kicks in, and enter the dreamtime.
Dreaming: Location unknown. Setting unknown. Other people unknown. But one of them says "Let's play Monopoly!" Somehow I know that I only have half an hour before my alarm goes off, and therefore I don't have time to play a full game of Monopoly. So, I invent Attrition Monopoly to speed things up.
1) You roll the dice. Whatever you land on, you get. No payment necessary. Carpetbagger.
2) If you land on someone else's stuff, you pay them.
3) You don't collect money for passing Go. What is this, Communism?
4) If you go to Jail, game over. You probably deserved it.
4a) If you land on the Jail square, that means you went to Jail. No one just visits. Game over.
5) No trading properties. This is every man/woman/other for themself.
6) The only money you can make is from other people landing on your stuff, or getting lucky with Chance and Community Chest.
6a) Chance and Community Chest cards do not reshuffle. Every time one is drawn, it is applied and then removed from the game.
6b) The "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards are the only thing that can save you from Jail. Except that it costs you half your current money. No one gets out for free.
7) You don't need a whole set of properties to build houses and hotels. But good luck having enough money to do so.
8) Free Parking? Lose a turn, because, hey, free parking! How can you resist?
9) The moment you reach $-1, you lose. No mortgaging property. Your game is over.
10) Last man standing wins.
We play. Dream memory fades, and then my alarm goes off.
Reality: I wake up. I remember all the rules. I think, "That actually sounds like more fun than real Monopoly." And then I think "I don't even own a Monopoly set. What the hell?"
Stupid dreams.
Reality: My alarm is set to go off at about 5:50 am. Because I've been getting up at this time for ages, my body is rather used to that, and often wakes itself up around that time, or sometimes a little earlier. Case in point, today, when I woke up at 5:15 am. I roll over and go back to sleep. REM kicks in, and enter the dreamtime.
Dreaming: Location unknown. Setting unknown. Other people unknown. But one of them says "Let's play Monopoly!" Somehow I know that I only have half an hour before my alarm goes off, and therefore I don't have time to play a full game of Monopoly. So, I invent Attrition Monopoly to speed things up.
1) You roll the dice. Whatever you land on, you get. No payment necessary. Carpetbagger.
2) If you land on someone else's stuff, you pay them.
3) You don't collect money for passing Go. What is this, Communism?
4) If you go to Jail, game over. You probably deserved it.
4a) If you land on the Jail square, that means you went to Jail. No one just visits. Game over.
5) No trading properties. This is every man/woman/other for themself.
6) The only money you can make is from other people landing on your stuff, or getting lucky with Chance and Community Chest.
6a) Chance and Community Chest cards do not reshuffle. Every time one is drawn, it is applied and then removed from the game.
6b) The "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards are the only thing that can save you from Jail. Except that it costs you half your current money. No one gets out for free.
7) You don't need a whole set of properties to build houses and hotels. But good luck having enough money to do so.
8) Free Parking? Lose a turn, because, hey, free parking! How can you resist?
9) The moment you reach $-1, you lose. No mortgaging property. Your game is over.
10) Last man standing wins.
We play. Dream memory fades, and then my alarm goes off.
Reality: I wake up. I remember all the rules. I think, "That actually sounds like more fun than real Monopoly." And then I think "I don't even own a Monopoly set. What the hell?"
Stupid dreams.