(no subject)
ahh who cares...ill still write...writing is cool even if the people i want to read it doesnt...it relinquishes whats inside u...i still think about my behavior a few months ago...but it doesnt feel like me...maybe i transcended...haha...if there is such a thing...i tried to hide behind my humility by putting on a face to deceive others...i found a verse in my bible...its funny...because that string thing thats attached to the bible came to a place in proverbs 5...it described my position...the bible was talking to me...maybe i didnt go as far as the man did...but it was in the mind when the first act was commited...over the course of the first semester i traveled so far from God that of course i was opened up to Satans attacks...i was told to read the bible but i never listened...so much i thought that i was enveloped by God that i was blind to how far away i was...i stepped over the border line and there i ended it all...a chain reaction which led me and others to misery...the thing about it is...i will never know if God would give me someone so perfect...He most likely will not because i lost what was...God gave me a chance because i asked for it a long time ago...my punishment is to be alone...of course i dont have to be alone...i could go out and do what my suitemates do...in the worlds eyes that is the life, and they arent alone....but i realized they are alone...random people are just a remedy to cure their chronic illness which goes on day after day....the person God gives u is the ultimate cure to being complete...screw it up and u will have chronic illness for life....yes i can choose to use the remedy as my suitemates do....or i can live with this aloneness....in the end....i wont be alone...i will have God for all eternity