Of Fantasy
You know what it's like, all your life, to be mistreated by men? To either be made to feel unpretty, or lied to, been uncommunicative, or been disrepsected? You always doubt your self worth, because you've never known any better. You think better can't exist. You finally see that it exists, but with a trade off. The person who fulfills most everything you've wanted, is shallow. The next, is a cheater. You are disillusioned once more. You think there is no one out there that can satisfy all your needs and treat you the way you deserve. Then, you meet someone. You keep them at a distance for a short while, then you decide to take a chance and see what they are about. You find that they ignite something in you, that instant chemistry; they share the same goals, they've been there before, and they treat you the way you know they should. You just want to devour them right there. But it gets better. They tell you they can't believe you aren't married, they thought it was too good to be true, because everyone they meet seems to be married. They tell you they are done playing around and they are looking for a relationship. They tell you they are the type of person that comes home with flowers just because. And that you are gorgeous, and that you have beautiful eyes. You are so used to feeling unpretty, that you can't even accept the compliment. They tell you they are well versed in biology, they are even from right around your home town. Better, they aren't even far away. You only talk to them once, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough time, you wish you could have talked to them all night. Wish you could have seen them in person that same night. But that was the only time you ever got to hear their voice. It is the only time you will ever get to hear their voice. You thought about them constantly ever since those fleeting moments. You start to doubt, you haven't heard from them. What could be wrong? Did they change their mind? That would be improbable, we hit it off so well. What if something happened to them? Maybe they just fell ill, you'll hear from them in a few days with some lame excuse. Hell, maybe the ex came back into the picture and kept him from communicating. But no, any of those things would be better than the message delivered to you of his fate. In a flash, everything you thought you could never have, you still can never have. It was too good to be true. The unbelievable fantasy of Sarah Jane's life. Any man worth it, too soon a goodbye. He said he looked forward to our next chat.. Sadly, I can't say when that will ever be.
They say no man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. Well here, I think there is to be an exception.
I didn't think it could exist. And now, it still doesn't exist. I don't know if you would have ended up disappointing me, but now, you have been immortalized as the man who wanted to give me everything, but left me with a fading memory of a wonderful, connecting, conversation. A conversation that can never have a sequel.
ETA: It had a sequel. A very fucked up sequel. But I stand by my thoughts: Anything that is too good to be true, usually is.
They say no man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. Well here, I think there is to be an exception.
I didn't think it could exist. And now, it still doesn't exist. I don't know if you would have ended up disappointing me, but now, you have been immortalized as the man who wanted to give me everything, but left me with a fading memory of a wonderful, connecting, conversation. A conversation that can never have a sequel.
ETA: It had a sequel. A very fucked up sequel. But I stand by my thoughts: Anything that is too good to be true, usually is.