You know, I don't think CFP is any one of those qualifiers, it's a whole package. I don't think being vulnerable/wanting to be taken care of, makes one a CFP by itself. CFP is a *whole package*.
I don't know how to describe the guys I'm talking about, who specifically wanted CFPs. They were definitely geeks, but had a *slight* bit more middle class/preppy image than other geeks. IE they were geeks who were accepted by the mainstream. Ex P. was definitely one of these; he was a geek but he had a very clean-cut upper middle class image.
They weren't the Big Guy With Facial Hair, Hat and Dark Coat. Besides I'm not a CFP and those BGFHH (Big Guy/Facial Hair/Hat) sorts seemed to actually find me attractive.
Brian (Aftershock) was a BIG CFP-o-phile, which is basically why we didn't work. My ex M I think was dissappointed that I didn't turn out to be more CFP.
Well, given half of what I generally wear are cargo pants or jeans, and frequently hiking boots, dress boots or work boots... and the other half of the time, I tend to dress office casual (slacks, classic-cut top, blazer... I own a bunch of blazers
( ... )
Once upon a time, you used to dress a lot more femininely, and I for one liked it. I've known some women that I found very attractive that dressed as you describe yourself dressing, and I thought it suited them quite nicely. However, it's hard for me to imagine you wearing boots and cargo pants, it just doesn't feel right to me somehow.
Maybe I still have a little bit of the hoped-for aspects tacked onto my mental image of you?
Other than clothing, I think I've always had a good grasp of who you are. Although I never really expected you to be attracted to women, I was never surprised by it either, so that's one mark in my favor toward actually knowing you fairly well. :)
To be fair, I don't "dress like a guy"; I do mix things up a bit.
And I wasn't really aware of my bisexuality at the time we knew each other. I was pretty strongly repressed in that regard; part of it was that I just didn't identify with the arty-farty bi people I knew at the time. I feel inwardly very "normal" in my tastes and aspirations. For some reason, I was kind of prudish, and knowing K polarized me into being even more prudish.
I went about 7 years without a boyfriend or partner, however, and during this time, came to discover a lot of things about myself. I wanted to see if I could "go there", and decided to start meeting women - and lo and behold, it came very, very easily.
I've been through periods where I much more strongly favored women and periods where I've felt fed up with women and dated men. And periods where I found men very boring.
All I can say is, I'm a complex person... and sometimes I get a witchy look with long skirts and such, too (ask my friend akumatatsu61).
I never said you dress like a guy, but I implied that you might dress a little butch these days. ;)
I did know a woman who dressed almost exclusively in shorts, hiking boots, and t-shirts, and on her it looked quite nice actually. She's the main one I was thinking of in that last comment.
btw, I once tried to see if I could "go there" when it came to guys, and thankfully backed off before it got too gross. Men are not my thing, and I know that quite definitively now.
However, even though my sexual preference may be direct and focused, there's a hell of a lot of me that's much more complex. I think we're both much more complex than either of us realized (about ourselves and each other) back in our late teens.
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I don't know how to describe the guys I'm talking about, who specifically wanted CFPs. They were definitely geeks, but had a *slight* bit more middle class/preppy image than other geeks. IE they were geeks who were accepted by the mainstream. Ex P. was definitely one of these; he was a geek but he had a very clean-cut upper middle class image.
They weren't the Big Guy With Facial Hair, Hat and Dark Coat. Besides I'm not a CFP and those BGFHH (Big Guy/Facial Hair/Hat) sorts seemed to actually find me attractive.
Brian (Aftershock) was a BIG CFP-o-phile, which is basically why we didn't work. My ex M I think was dissappointed that I didn't turn out to be more CFP.
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I was a bit disappointed that you weren't more CFP too. ;)
But, I found a good friendship, even though you didn't really turn out to be my "type." :)
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Maybe I still have a little bit of the hoped-for aspects tacked onto my mental image of you?
Other than clothing, I think I've always had a good grasp of who you are. Although I never really expected you to be attracted to women, I was never surprised by it either, so that's one mark in my favor toward actually knowing you fairly well. :)
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And I wasn't really aware of my bisexuality at the time we knew each other. I was pretty strongly repressed in that regard; part of it was that I just didn't identify with the arty-farty bi people I knew at the time. I feel inwardly very "normal" in my tastes and aspirations. For some reason, I was kind of prudish, and knowing K polarized me into being even more prudish.
I went about 7 years without a boyfriend or partner, however, and during this time, came to discover a lot of things about myself. I wanted to see if I could "go there", and decided to start meeting women - and lo and behold, it came very, very easily.
I've been through periods where I much more strongly favored women and periods where I've felt fed up with women and dated men. And periods where I found men very boring.
All I can say is, I'm a complex person... and sometimes I get a witchy look with long skirts and such, too (ask my friend akumatatsu61).
Reply
I did know a woman who dressed almost exclusively in shorts, hiking boots, and t-shirts, and on her it looked quite nice actually. She's the main one I was thinking of in that last comment.
btw, I once tried to see if I could "go there" when it came to guys, and thankfully backed off before it got too gross. Men are not my thing, and I know that quite definitively now.
However, even though my sexual preference may be direct and focused, there's a hell of a lot of me that's much more complex. I think we're both much more complex than either of us realized (about ourselves and each other) back in our late teens.
Reply
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