Commentary based on when I thought a CFP would be my type. (aka, ages 14 to 18, at 19 I was driven temporarily insane)
Eating habits not applicaple, as long as they weren't messy I didn't care.
Tailored dresses were fine by me.
Eating disorders were a bad thing in my book, phobias were not a plus, and their having Asperger's wouldn't have mattered to me.
Education majors held no benefit from it in my eyes, other than simply being in college, especially as kid related careers actually lowered the rating to me. (it doesn't now, I think I could handle kids now)
Attending CalTech or MIT would've been a plus to me, while the other colleges mentioned wouldn't have mattered to me either way.
I didn't find medical jobs attractive then, even nursing, and still don't. Medicine's important, but I get grossed out hearing about it. (sorry, but it's true)
I don't see why being Jewish affects it, I wouldn't have thought so.
I'm also confused about the street vendor thing, though you're right about Ceremonial Magick. It's not sexy. :P
Being in a skeptic's club while not being much of one, that was fine in the day. It often meant that you had the imagination to wonder if weird stuff was possible, so you were trying to see how it might or might not be so. ;)
CFPs can be streetsmart, if they hide it. In theory, faking being CFP is just as good as being one, since the target geek type often won't notice (or actually care).
Hobby section: Back then, metal was fine. Current metal isn't. Fencing with a light sword was sexy. Bellydancing was intimidating. (reverse those last two for me nowadays) Costuming was ok, but sewing as a hobby wasn't (making something for a purpose was/is fine, but not just because you like to). I would've approved of astronomy and rock collecting (at least of interesting minerals).
Two questions on that last section: Why is geocaching supposedly bad? And what's Toastmasters anyway?
Reading: Science reading has always been a plus in my eyes, as is Asimov, but not LeGuin. (I've owned LeGuin books and just never gotten around to reading them, it makes me feel like there's a reason for it) Also, reading Spider Robinson, Heinlein, HG Wells, and Niven are all a plus to me. Romance books and Jane Austen, never. Girls/women who read those have never interested me. I'm not particularly into either Anne you mentioned, or people who read either (I've read some of both, neither a big thing to me, good or bad). Positive romance to me is stuff like Arthurian, Don Quixote, and similar heroic/romantic old tales. Also... New Age books is a very selective category to me. Some is interesting, some is bizarre crap, and it's often hard to tell which at first.
Cars: other than the SUV stuff, I'm lost as to why any of that part would matter.
Again, the preceding is my own views, most of which refer to how I saw the CFP type during my late teens. I'm not so much into that these days, especially since I'd prefer a woman who can manage life herself and doesn't necessarily need me. It's better to be wanted than needed, and best to have a relationship that's a partnership where you both help each other, not solely where one person aids or protects the other.
You know, I don't think CFP is any one of those qualifiers, it's a whole package. I don't think being vulnerable/wanting to be taken care of, makes one a CFP by itself. CFP is a *whole package*.
I don't know how to describe the guys I'm talking about, who specifically wanted CFPs. They were definitely geeks, but had a *slight* bit more middle class/preppy image than other geeks. IE they were geeks who were accepted by the mainstream. Ex P. was definitely one of these; he was a geek but he had a very clean-cut upper middle class image.
They weren't the Big Guy With Facial Hair, Hat and Dark Coat. Besides I'm not a CFP and those BGFHH (Big Guy/Facial Hair/Hat) sorts seemed to actually find me attractive.
Brian (Aftershock) was a BIG CFP-o-phile, which is basically why we didn't work. My ex M I think was dissappointed that I didn't turn out to be more CFP.
Well, given half of what I generally wear are cargo pants or jeans, and frequently hiking boots, dress boots or work boots... and the other half of the time, I tend to dress office casual (slacks, classic-cut top, blazer... I own a bunch of blazers).
And soon work dress for me is either going to be dark blue cargos, jacket and work boots, or it's going to be scrubs. Definitely not the Renaissance look.
However, where I do get some cred is, I DO make jewellery. I'll put up pics of my pieces eventually.
I think a lot of the people who put on that CFP image *are* total control freaks. The person in question for example. She lured them in with her Renaissance appeal.
I was jealous of that for a long time, and thought this was how I was supposed to be - it took me a long time to accept that I have my own style, and that's OKAY. It's okay to be who I am. I don't wish to have been born in any other time. "Feminine dress up" for me is usually something more resembling business wear, or I look as you once said - a mage trying to pass as a mundane. But boy, can I get my goth on when I want, too.
I don't really go for the Rennaissance look in others of either sex. Well, sometimes in women, but an attractive woman could wear a paper bag and I'd notice her, not the bag. All that aside, my taste (appearance-wise) tends to be fairly mainstream... I like the look of people in "dress casual" clothes. I like men to look really clean. I like women to... well, breathe. :) That said, cargo pants have the opposite effect upon me that they have upon you... there are some paramedics I've seen that I'd love to undress with my teeth.
Once upon a time, you used to dress a lot more femininely, and I for one liked it. I've known some women that I found very attractive that dressed as you describe yourself dressing, and I thought it suited them quite nicely. However, it's hard for me to imagine you wearing boots and cargo pants, it just doesn't feel right to me somehow.
Maybe I still have a little bit of the hoped-for aspects tacked onto my mental image of you?
Other than clothing, I think I've always had a good grasp of who you are. Although I never really expected you to be attracted to women, I was never surprised by it either, so that's one mark in my favor toward actually knowing you fairly well. :)
To be fair, I don't "dress like a guy"; I do mix things up a bit.
And I wasn't really aware of my bisexuality at the time we knew each other. I was pretty strongly repressed in that regard; part of it was that I just didn't identify with the arty-farty bi people I knew at the time. I feel inwardly very "normal" in my tastes and aspirations. For some reason, I was kind of prudish, and knowing K polarized me into being even more prudish.
I went about 7 years without a boyfriend or partner, however, and during this time, came to discover a lot of things about myself. I wanted to see if I could "go there", and decided to start meeting women - and lo and behold, it came very, very easily.
I've been through periods where I much more strongly favored women and periods where I've felt fed up with women and dated men. And periods where I found men very boring.
All I can say is, I'm a complex person... and sometimes I get a witchy look with long skirts and such, too (ask my friend akumatatsu61).
I never said you dress like a guy, but I implied that you might dress a little butch these days. ;)
I did know a woman who dressed almost exclusively in shorts, hiking boots, and t-shirts, and on her it looked quite nice actually. She's the main one I was thinking of in that last comment.
btw, I once tried to see if I could "go there" when it came to guys, and thankfully backed off before it got too gross. Men are not my thing, and I know that quite definitively now.
However, even though my sexual preference may be direct and focused, there's a hell of a lot of me that's much more complex. I think we're both much more complex than either of us realized (about ourselves and each other) back in our late teens.
Eating habits not applicaple, as long as they weren't messy I didn't care.
Tailored dresses were fine by me.
Eating disorders were a bad thing in my book, phobias were not a plus, and their having Asperger's wouldn't have mattered to me.
Education majors held no benefit from it in my eyes, other than simply being in college, especially as kid related careers actually lowered the rating to me. (it doesn't now, I think I could handle kids now)
Attending CalTech or MIT would've been a plus to me, while the other colleges mentioned wouldn't have mattered to me either way.
I didn't find medical jobs attractive then, even nursing, and still don't. Medicine's important, but I get grossed out hearing about it. (sorry, but it's true)
I don't see why being Jewish affects it, I wouldn't have thought so.
I'm also confused about the street vendor thing, though you're right about Ceremonial Magick. It's not sexy. :P
Being in a skeptic's club while not being much of one, that was fine in the day. It often meant that you had the imagination to wonder if weird stuff was possible, so you were trying to see how it might or might not be so. ;)
CFPs can be streetsmart, if they hide it. In theory, faking being CFP is just as good as being one, since the target geek type often won't notice (or actually care).
Hobby section: Back then, metal was fine. Current metal isn't. Fencing with a light sword was sexy. Bellydancing was intimidating. (reverse those last two for me nowadays) Costuming was ok, but sewing as a hobby wasn't (making something for a purpose was/is fine, but not just because you like to). I would've approved of astronomy and rock collecting (at least of interesting minerals).
Two questions on that last section: Why is geocaching supposedly bad? And what's Toastmasters anyway?
Reading: Science reading has always been a plus in my eyes, as is Asimov, but not LeGuin. (I've owned LeGuin books and just never gotten around to reading them, it makes me feel like there's a reason for it) Also, reading Spider Robinson, Heinlein, HG Wells, and Niven are all a plus to me. Romance books and Jane Austen, never. Girls/women who read those have never interested me. I'm not particularly into either Anne you mentioned, or people who read either (I've read some of both, neither a big thing to me, good or bad). Positive romance to me is stuff like Arthurian, Don Quixote, and similar heroic/romantic old tales. Also... New Age books is a very selective category to me. Some is interesting, some is bizarre crap, and it's often hard to tell which at first.
Cars: other than the SUV stuff, I'm lost as to why any of that part would matter.
Again, the preceding is my own views, most of which refer to how I saw the CFP type during my late teens. I'm not so much into that these days, especially since I'd prefer a woman who can manage life herself and doesn't necessarily need me. It's better to be wanted than needed, and best to have a relationship that's a partnership where you both help each other, not solely where one person aids or protects the other.
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I don't know how to describe the guys I'm talking about, who specifically wanted CFPs. They were definitely geeks, but had a *slight* bit more middle class/preppy image than other geeks. IE they were geeks who were accepted by the mainstream. Ex P. was definitely one of these; he was a geek but he had a very clean-cut upper middle class image.
They weren't the Big Guy With Facial Hair, Hat and Dark Coat. Besides I'm not a CFP and those BGFHH (Big Guy/Facial Hair/Hat) sorts seemed to actually find me attractive.
Brian (Aftershock) was a BIG CFP-o-phile, which is basically why we didn't work. My ex M I think was dissappointed that I didn't turn out to be more CFP.
Reply
I was a bit disappointed that you weren't more CFP too. ;)
But, I found a good friendship, even though you didn't really turn out to be my "type." :)
Reply
And soon work dress for me is either going to be dark blue cargos, jacket and work boots, or it's going to be scrubs. Definitely not the Renaissance look.
However, where I do get some cred is, I DO make jewellery. I'll put up pics of my pieces eventually.
I think a lot of the people who put on that CFP image *are* total control freaks. The person in question for example. She lured them in with her Renaissance appeal.
I was jealous of that for a long time, and thought this was how I was supposed to be - it took me a long time to accept that I have my own style, and that's OKAY. It's okay to be who I am. I don't wish to have been born in any other time. "Feminine dress up" for me is usually something more resembling business wear, or I look as you once said - a mage trying to pass as a mundane. But boy, can I get my goth on when I want, too.
I don't really go for the Rennaissance look in others of either sex. Well, sometimes in women, but an attractive woman could wear a paper bag and I'd notice her, not the bag. All that aside, my taste (appearance-wise) tends to be fairly mainstream... I like the look of people in "dress casual" clothes. I like men to look really clean. I like women to... well, breathe. :) That said, cargo pants have the opposite effect upon me that they have upon you... there are some paramedics I've seen that I'd love to undress with my teeth.
Reply
Maybe I still have a little bit of the hoped-for aspects tacked onto my mental image of you?
Other than clothing, I think I've always had a good grasp of who you are. Although I never really expected you to be attracted to women, I was never surprised by it either, so that's one mark in my favor toward actually knowing you fairly well. :)
Reply
And I wasn't really aware of my bisexuality at the time we knew each other. I was pretty strongly repressed in that regard; part of it was that I just didn't identify with the arty-farty bi people I knew at the time. I feel inwardly very "normal" in my tastes and aspirations. For some reason, I was kind of prudish, and knowing K polarized me into being even more prudish.
I went about 7 years without a boyfriend or partner, however, and during this time, came to discover a lot of things about myself. I wanted to see if I could "go there", and decided to start meeting women - and lo and behold, it came very, very easily.
I've been through periods where I much more strongly favored women and periods where I've felt fed up with women and dated men. And periods where I found men very boring.
All I can say is, I'm a complex person... and sometimes I get a witchy look with long skirts and such, too (ask my friend akumatatsu61).
Reply
I did know a woman who dressed almost exclusively in shorts, hiking boots, and t-shirts, and on her it looked quite nice actually. She's the main one I was thinking of in that last comment.
btw, I once tried to see if I could "go there" when it came to guys, and thankfully backed off before it got too gross. Men are not my thing, and I know that quite definitively now.
However, even though my sexual preference may be direct and focused, there's a hell of a lot of me that's much more complex. I think we're both much more complex than either of us realized (about ourselves and each other) back in our late teens.
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