Hi, I'm back!
Wow, can't believe I still remembered my old online journal website, and it's 2024 now!
I'm a adult adult now, reading some of my old entries makes me think that wow, I was such a depressing kid back then.
But I've prevailed.
I don't know what makes me come back to writing a journal again, currently at this hour on the 12th of May 2024 (Sunday) 11:54pm...
But it's obvious that I can't sleep XD
Well... Since I had lots of depressing entries back then, let me change this to a more gratuitous blog, hopefully.
Hi, I'm Chaoskun1. I'm a lead designer irl now, a transitioned FTM with my family's blessing, I have a car, a wonderful partner who accepts all of me, she's the best. I will be moving in soon with her in a few months' time, I have a job that's quite good-Nice colleagues, a UK based company in Msia, good work-life balance, people are respectful and easygoing. I foresee myself working here long term, well it's been like 5 years already with this company and I'm pretty content. It's not a gaming company, I have given up on that due to its competitiveness, limitation of companies, most of them can be pretty unstable and toxic. I'm doing post-production editing which is quite fun for me. But of course I'll eventually gain more other skills in due time, which I am not pressured to do so immediately, these will come with work experience too.
Everything sounds good and content. I think currently at the moment, I'm thinking alot about the money part. Yes I earn quite ok, as well as my partner. But this is quite normal right? Due to yearly inflations and the shitty economy. I'm however not so anxious and will just continue to as usual plan properly and keeping track of my monthly expenses. Yeah, very adult things.
And I'm in my 30s now. Old HAHAA Sometimes my body feels like it's not as nimble as when I was 18 (also the time that I started this journal) Damn fuck wei XD
Ok, on the gratitude parts:
- I am thankful for a good career with good advancements, work-life balance, with good pay.
- I am thankful for a roof over my head, with 3-4 or 5 meals a day, have good water and electric supply as well as internet. (OKla these are pretty plain right?)
- I am thankful for a quiet and peaceful home.
- I am thankful for my parents and my family's support.
- I am thankful that my parents are healthy and well, even that they are elderly now.
- I am very thankful to my partner who came into my life 3 years ago. She means the world to me. She loves me for who I am, a very mature lady who is a respectable educator. I am no longer the depressing zombie I was before, I tend to always do my best more now not just for me and my family's sake, it's also for her as well.
- I am very thankful to my best friends who have been in my life since college, we are still in touch like 14 years ady (woww omg lol) they are with me through my ups and downs, we always hang out, and every minute with them is fun and chill. I've recently attended one of their siblings' wedding and I felt so honoured. We call ourselves the cacat gang XD
- I am thankful to my godkids, I have 5 godkids now XD They are cats if you're wondering. They make me happy, my stress dissipates when I visit them. Cats are like the best therapists you can ever ask for.
- I am thankful for my nice colleagues as well, they are very chill and laid back people, especially my artworker colleague who's always working together with me as a team, my HoD who I consider her a good friend too, she's always been backing us up, fighting for our sakes, treating us food at times, a true Daigajie. My Art director who is very sweet and kind, she is also very funny at times, she's also another daigajie XD And every other colleagues in the studio who are also quite chill and relatable, and my boss. I look up to him alot of times actually for being patient, headstrong, a very good leader. For them I also do my best in my work performance.
- I am also thankful for the good people that I've met on the way, either from online on social media, in the games, or in real life... Some of them have been away, no longer in contact, or passed away... But I remember them still. The things they inspire me, their cheerfulness, for their sake which they won't be aware of, I will do my best to be a better person than yesterday. So if someday we are able to meet up in person, they will be happy as well.
Yeah, that's all for now.
If anyone is reading this, you are not alone, life is beautiful, and you are enough.
Time for some Ruruonin Kenshin manga and then sleep, til next time LJ!