Sudden thoughts appear in my head and rejoice.
Life is complex. Things like to change really really fast. Yesterday I had no clue of what my decision would be, today, I think I know. It came to me after this afternoon I tried to call and talk to JiL. She didn’t want to talk to me, or was talking to someone else (probably, it could be either right now) and told me to call Elyse. I went off and slept instead. Before I got to sleep I was thinking, and I realized that the reason I’m hurting so much is that I never let go. I’ve never let her not be mine in my head. So that is what I’m doing. I’m letting go of her. That should help, saving both of us much trouble. My refusal to let go has hurt us both. Its time to release. Why didn’t I think of this before? Gods sometimes I wonder about myself and why id don’t think of things when I need them, only afterwards. Well if you’ll excuse me I have to pry my grip from her now. Goodbye.