(no subject)
Well then, this week has sucked. Between JiL getting engaged, Elyse asking the hard question, and everything else, I have decided that not only are the 15th of months bad but any week that begins with one (from Monday) will be horrible. I need a break from life. The gods of love, life seem to hate me. Hell, even the sex god (now Alexander James Evans, Matt’s son) has completely failed me, and everything else is going to hell. Welcome to my life, sometimes described as the hellish time when I get to suffer quite a lot, then later on die. WooHOOO. Okay so all that sounds like I’m depressed, and I have to say for some reason, im not. I noticed that jil gets upset when I talk about Elyse, but when she talks about Denis (may his eternal soul be eaten by a kitten)( yes a kitten) and I get upset, She gets mad at me. Kind of makes me facepalm. Double standard suck ass. There are too many of them. Or at least for me. Am I wrong to hurt when she mentions him, as I still love her, and he has her? She wont answer my question either. I don’t care if her opinion is biased, I need to hear her answer to that before I do anything. I have until Wednesday To figure it out and I want to hear her answer. I can probably guess it, but as I told E. Schooley, I need to hear it. I have a feeling the answer is that she really doesn’t want me to, which is why she remains silent on the subject. (yes I know you may not have any clue about what I’m talking about, ill explain later, if people want me to, but for now my computer is a bitch so I cant stay online for more than like 5 minutes and it sucks. So if you want to be explained to call (515)279-6823) so yeah. If that’s true, and if im not the dense idiotic fool (I like repetition, okay? Sheesh some people, never satisfied.) that means she does still care about me. Which may fade in the months I have ahead of me. Which leaves me back to my question, should I wait, or take comfort in Schooley. For my sanity, probably the second, but for my heart, the first. So which shall I indulge, the heart or the mind? The whole going out with Schooley but still wanting JiL thing makes me cringe a bit, but perhaps it is best that I do move on, at least for now. When I get back, however, Denis will die, slowly, painfully, bloodily, and I, in the heart of my narcissism (I had a discussion with Jackson and killing someone ‘cause they disagree with you is one height of narcissism. I guess you could say Him and I disagree. So yeah. That’s my explanation of the use of that word.) (not that you care) he will die die die. MUHAHHAHAHAHAHAHa. Evil moment. Hehehe. Gotta love those. So yeah. Welcome to My life, the hold of the ship known as HELL. Or at least for the moment. In the subject of love, which hates me, as does the new sex god, who should have given me love, as sex and love go hand in hand sometimes. Not all the time. Sex and money go at it too. And sex and lust. But in my case I need love. And maybe sex. But that can wait, no need to jump ahead. Get love in order an ill be fine. Either give me JiL or ill have to corrupt E. Schooley. Which I don’t really object to. Its just I still love JiL. I use love as love, not strong like, love. Why, well by cause of the fact that I think of her almost every waking moment, even when im with the only other girl I like, Elyse (otherwise known as E. Schooley). Katie likes me too, but were staying away from ty’s exes. *nod nod nod * I think I need some help with this, but I cant talk online , for my computer is an evil bitch that kills my internet. Sooooo, im even writing this on word, copying and pasting. Please, someone, call me if you can, I need fucking advice. I don’t care if I know you or not (though if I don’t know you why the hell are you reading my journal……) CALL THE DAVID! If you cant that’s okay tho. I will figure it out, if I can get an answer from the JiL. Maybe I should talk to Megan, Kyle or Cassie. They might have advice. Why am I inking of this only now? ARRRGHHH. Shoot me. Or break my leg, then I cant leave and JiL might love me again. * Insane laughter * yes… I can break my leg, and ill get her back MUHAHAHAHAHA. Or maybe not. * sigh * oh well this has gone on long enough, ill let you get back to your lives. CALL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bye bye.
Bye bye.